To ask what you think of SAHMs?

[HarryHarryHarry]

For the past 3 years I have been a SAHM. I never imagined that I would be one but I actually quite like it. Eventually I plan to go back to work but it could be that I just work unskilled-type jobs instead of having a proper career. I really don’t know what my options will be when the time comes. I might just stay home and focus on my writing, which is my real passion, or I might go back to university and retrain in something. (We are lucky that we can currently afford to get by on just one parent’s wages). Recently though I have been wondering what my children will think of me when they’re older. Especially my daughter. Am I a bad example to her?

If your mum was a SAHM, did you have any thoughts about that?

I don't even like the title SAHM. Are those who are not SAHM's called 'working mums', are SAHM's not just 'non working mums'?

Strikes me as odd that as children are off to school at 4/5, then the position of SAHM becomes redundant, and you are just a SAH Wife/Partner or unemployed?

Clearly stating the obvious has an ouch factor for some of you.

If you are not working and have not done so for a while you have limited contemporary experience to draw from to discuss work knowledgeably your kids

Sure you can recall and draw upon your past work experience,but contemporary it is not

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

Clearly stating the obvious has an ouch factor for some of you.

If you are not working and have not done so for a while you have limited contemporary experience to draw from to discuss work knowledgeably your kids

Sure you can recall and draw upon your past work experience,but contemporary it is not

Yes i agree

Would never argue otherwise....in my personal case at least

No ouchie here

My mum was a SAHM until I was 7 or so. I felt I should do the same and I practically ran out the door back to work when my youngest started school. I have no opinions on anyone else being a working or stay at home mum, but for myself I feel I am a better role model for my daughter now I am back in a professional role in the area I trained in- not because I'm not a housewife, but because I am more contented and I feel more rounded.

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

Clearly stating the obvious has an ouch factor for some of you.

If you are not working and have not done so for a while you have limited contemporary experience to draw from to discuss work knowledgeably your kids

Sure you can recall and draw upon your past work experience,but contemporary it is not

The ouch factor ? Im surprised after a long day being more important you’ve not got anything better to do than put SAHM in their place

I am actually laughing at some of the absolute shit you’ve spouted here

Do you think stopping work for a period of time prevents you from keeping up with professional practice, do you wonder if some women are in extended career breaks with KIT says and training?

No you literally think they’ve abandoned any hope or potentially for career recommencement because people like you deem them either bored and kept or so eviscerated by drudgery they have no hope of ever functioning as a employed human being again

In addition some of the most intelligent and self assured women I know are SAHP. They have fantastic educations, lifestyles and choice. They would laugh at some of the views on here: that they could never renter work, that their “portfolio”‘wouldn’t be suitable for a fucking kids career evening in Shittingbury on the Wold Grammar.

Get a life and stop denigrating things you can’t do or don’t experience. It is risible

Ok Lipstick, so I’ve been a SAHM for many years but, when I ‘return to work’ reasonably soon (which will be seeing clients in an annexe attached to our house) then what exactly? How the hell will it hell my daughter, if she wants to go into banking, media or any one if the billion things she may or may not decide to do, if I am a psychotherapist?

It will not make the slightest bit of difference and you are spouting bollocks. As you feel compelled to do on any and every thread about SAHMs.

My DH has experience as an options trader, has founded and sold three companies and now mainly invests and does non-exec roles - but how the hell will that help my son if he wants to be an actor?

I find that if my children need to know about something (for example, a specific career) I look up information or find someone they can talk to, if I don't already have a friend or relative in that field. Seems to work out okay.
No one accuses parents of failing if they are not doctors and cannot diagnose or treat their DC's illnesses - it's perfectly reasonable to outsource that skill, so I can't see the difference in seeking outside advice for jobs (if their dad is unable to advise).
It gives wohp who are career advisors something to do, I suppose

And by the way Lipstick ... sorry but this needs to be said because you are hardly one to hold back...

I remember you on a thread some years ago going in about SAHMs, telling them their DHs were probably having affairs because ‘all rich men do... ‘

You then went on to explain how your favourite restaurant is Yo Sushi (sorry but this is ingrained in my memory). Why? Well, you explained that you and your DH have totally separate finances to the point that you each buy your own food. This is in a marriage with two kids! Then you said the reason you like Yo Sushi is because the coloured bowls help you to keep track of what food you eat and what food he has had so you can split the bill precisely. Then you work out what the kids have had and split that between you. Then you split the tip!

Frankly, given the way you live, it no surprise you are so bewildered by SAHMs. It’s literally a million miles from your family set up. You would be baffled by most families, I think, working or not. Fwiw, the way you live is hardly the norm or what anyone would aspire to. So stop harping on about other people’s set ups and maybe a bit of self-reflection might help you move on.

Haven't RTFT. My mum was a stay at home and did part time care work from when I was about 8 or 9.
I have nothing but respect for my lovely mum. She was selfless, caring, loving and always there for us after school which meant so much to us and meant we could do lots of activities and have friends round and just have a chat. I don't think my feelings towards my parents would ever have anything to do with what they've 'achieved'. I would love to be a SAHM.

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

Clearly stating the obvious has an ouch factor for some of you.

If you are not working and have not done so for a while you have limited contemporary experience to draw from to discuss work knowledgeably your kids

Sure you can recall and draw upon your past work experience,but contemporary it is not

What is this contemporary experience? All jobs and workplaces are difference, I'm quite impressed by your breadth of experience that you feel you can cover them all. What specifically has changed in the contemporary landscape of employment that you feel so specialised in?

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

I’m back from work and catching up, yes I have given talks to pupils about working in specific field. I was invited to because I have that knowledge & experience

Sahm I know through school have asked my advice about courses for their older kids

Contemporary issues in workplace inc

• What are the issues and themes in work
• What’s it actually like, what are the demands of the role
• What candidates are getting onto training

- Contemporaneous Issues & themes

We get the message you say you are going to talk about contemporary, issue in work and then you talk about issues and themes in work and then you close the talk by talking about contemporaneous Issues & themes, they must be on the edge of their seats waiting on some actual content!😂

What's it really like - go one tell us, we can't imagine what the demands of your role must be...and who gets into training, I can't wait to find out! I've got a spoiler though - everyone gets training in our workplace - doesn't that happen everywhere? Oh wait looks like all companies might be different!

‘Contemporary issues in workplace inc

• What are the issues and themes in work
• What’s it actually like, what are the demands of the role
• What candidates are getting onto training
• Contemporaneous Issues & themes’

On the vino tonight, are we?

@pa1oma

‘Contemporary issues in workplace inc

• What are the issues and themes in work
• What’s it actually like, what are the demands of the role
• What candidates are getting onto training
• Contemporaneous Issues & themes’

On the vino tonight, are we?

It’s a bit “write the feem toon sing the feem toon “ isn’t it

@pa1oma are you actually addressing my by an incorrect name and recalling a convoluted story?
You seem quite het up and are recalling someone else dinner which you concede is ingrained in your memory
I don’t have a husband
Yup Sushi is not a venue we go I’m afraid
As detailed as your well described story is with coloured plates and all it is no more than a misappropriated recollection

@polly what point are you badly making or are you just shouting random stuff.

You are the poster LipstickHandbagCoffee. You have a very distinctive way of writing - so distinctive, I hadn’t even noticed the slight name change.

And yes, I remember clearly. You buy your own food at the supermarket and your DP (?) buys his. And when you go out for dinner, you like Yo Sushi as the coloured bowls help you split the bill and then you divide the cost of the children’s food and the tip. You thought any woman in a marriage who didn’t do all this malarkey was ‘financially vulnerable’ and you were going on about how one person in a marriage should on no occasion, ever, fund the other; all bills must be split and so on so on. And you were saying that if you give your DP £5, he has to pay you back, this kind of thing.

[quote HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee]@polly what point are you badly making or are you just shouting random stuff.[/quote]
Is that the best you can do?
With all you contemporaneous superiority?

@pa1oma, afraid not. Are you enacting a previous grudge with someone else
Do you keep a spreadsheet of posters who’ve annoyed you to have an encyclopaedic recall
Shall we return to the topic in hand. I’ve got loads more to say

Polly I genuinely cannot get muster a long reply to incoherent rambling

It’s definitely you. You say exactly the same things on all these threads and the way you write and structure sentences is very distinct.

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee

Polly I genuinely cannot get muster a long reply to incoherent rambling

Perhaps toiling at the executive coalface today has rendered you incapable.

You’re coming across somewhat preoccupied by your previous spat that has no relationship to this thread. I’m not going to slug this out with you

@pa1oma

‘Contemporary issues in workplace inc

• What are the issues and themes in work
• What’s it actually like, what are the demands of the role
• What candidates are getting onto training
• Contemporaneous Issues & themes’

On the vino tonight, are we?

Actually when I replied before it eluded me but now I know exactly what this reminds me of

Pauline from TLOG with her pens and flip chart
I also suspect there might be a propensity to lamp someone with a clipboard who dares to question someone’s portfolio 😂

Polly,what’s your actual issue. There’s a limited response to sarky comments

TLOG?