To ask what you think of SAHMs?

[HarryHarryHarry]

For the past 3 years I have been a SAHM. I never imagined that I would be one but I actually quite like it. Eventually I plan to go back to work but it could be that I just work unskilled-type jobs instead of having a proper career. I really don’t know what my options will be when the time comes. I might just stay home and focus on my writing, which is my real passion, or I might go back to university and retrain in something. (We are lucky that we can currently afford to get by on just one parent’s wages). Recently though I have been wondering what my children will think of me when they’re older. Especially my daughter. Am I a bad example to her?

If your mum was a SAHM, did you have any thoughts about that?

@ImBoredAgain

Lazy and sets a bad example to children that it’s okay not to go to work.

That’s just my opinion and I’m aware others see it differently.

Also kind of hats off to SAHM’s in a way, I love my kids to bits but there’s absolutely no way I’d be able to have them 24/7.

What they’re all lazy?

This is another cracker

@GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom

I was just joking. Don't worry. I'm not thick and neither are you and I don't think we both think each other are. So all is well in the strange land of Mumsnet.

Look. It's fine to disagree with someone, but it really is best to respond to what they actually said. If I've said "but you can easily be privileged and vulnerable at the same time" and get back "ARE YOU SAYING SAHMS ARE ALL THICKOS??? WE LICK WINDOWS, IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING??? WE CAN'T RESPOND TO A DISCUSSION ABOUT SAHMS, IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING???", then it doesn't really make any case for you.

However, we have both now clearly lost our audience anyway, as they have done the sensible thing and gone to the bar.

And curtain.

No, it really was just a joke you didn't find funny about a joke you didn't find funny. I was just extending the joke from the PP. I don't think you were calling SAHMs thick!

ImBoredAgain What qualifies you to determine that a whole set of other people are lazy? It's like me saying you woh because you are too lazy to look after your own kids.

GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom

So according to you, all working parents are neither privileged nor vulnerable but all sahps are? That's a much bigger failure of premise if you ask me.

It's as much a failure of premise to conclude that all working parents are the same, just as all sahps are not all privileged and vulnerable.

[I wish I had gone to the bar]

@Freewheelingoryx

[I wish I had gone to the bar]

Sometimes people's banter works and is harmoniously humour full. Sometimes it goes down like a led balloon. Like your joke!! Joke. Get it!!

Cheers Qwpoeriu and to everyone on this thread however you chose to spend your time!

Yes Sahm have worked,past tense,so rely on recall and anecdotes to discuss working
You can’t demonstrate going out to work or knowledgeably discuss contemporary issues in workplace if you’re not working

I may be a SAHM but I also do voluntary work which demonstrates me going out to work perfectly.
My older children have been influenced by this and started volunteering too. This helped them when the time came to get weekend/holiday jobs when they left school.
So now if they so wish they can knowledgeably discuss contemporary workplace issues with each other, with me and with DH who also works and also can provide them with workplace knowledge. My younger children have the benefit of four adults with a variety of work experiences.

I don't know why I need to discuss contemporary issues in the workplace anyway. Surely they vary according to what your job is anyway, so the parents jobs might not be relevant.
If it's that necessary, they could discuss it with their other parent, who also has input into their lives!

Hats off to SAHMs I think. It can be really great, especially if you have your own source of money so not having to ask your husband...I shudder at the thought of that.

I think its a bit pathetic for working mums to claim superiority to SAHMs. Each to their own. I could afford to be a SAHM and did it for 5 years but I'm career driven so glad to be back working full time. My life is so much richer for having both experiences when the time right for me and my kids - for some families it doesn't fall that way.

I have some friends that work full time, and some that don't at all but we're all facing similar things. I really love hearing about my friend and her volunteering work and being a SAHM definitely gives freedom to try different things. I studied quite a lot of tech subjects and have a much better job now from that. Would never have had chance if I was working regularly.

As for parents - mine both worked and worked very hard. I'm glad to have them as role models, my mum isn't very career driven but is quite academic/intellectual. Some of my happiest memories are of the time when she was studying, although she was working a little at the same time I'm so proud of her for taking them time to do something she loved (a joint honours degree) far more than when she was working afterwards.

I do think it's incredibly important however for anyone to be able to get themselves a half decent job within a couple of months - you just never know where life takes you. So I think even time volunteering, joining clubs etc, because networks make a difference to confidence and opportunities.

Whatever works for your family is fine. I work part time now but was a sAHM for years.

“Yes Sahm have worked,past tense,so rely on recall and anecdotes to discuss working
You can’t demonstrate going out to work or knowledgeably discuss contemporary issues in workplace if you’re not working”

This is tragic. God help this poster.

Well it's 29 pages in and I ain't reading all of those posts... What do I think of SAHMs? I think they are people, mothers, women like me, and I think it's their business and I hope it's all good for them.

@pa1oma

“Yes Sahm have worked,past tense,so rely on recall and anecdotes to discuss working You can’t demonstrate going out to work or knowledgeably discuss contemporary issues in workplace if you’re not working”

This is tragic. God help this poster.

You’re right it is tragic. Actually it’s breathtakingly anti women. Deeply patronising and verging on misogyny except unless I’m much mistaken the poster is in fact a woman herself

I wrote on here that women are their own worst enemies

With this sort of regressive bunkum / horse shit / paranoia it’s easy to why some of us might thank that isn’t it.

Yes Sahm have worked,past tense,so rely on recall and anecdotes to discuss working. You can’t demonstrate going out to work or knowledgeably discuss contemporary issues in workplace if you’re not working

I fail to see what is tragic or misogynistic about this. It is stating a fact.

As a working parent, dh and I speak to my children's 6th formers on careers advice and do interview practice with them. I never seen a SAHP try to do this.

What's so offensive and misogynistic about saying that a person who doesn't work won't be clued up on contemporary workplace issues?

I’m not offended. It’s the petty, self-importance that’s tragic to read.

“As a working parent.... “

Aren’t you clever... (slow clap)....

As a working parent, dh and I speak to my children's 6th formers on careers advice and do interview practice with them. I never seen a SAHP try to do this

😂😂

I think its a bit pathetic for working mums to claim superiority to SAHMs. Each to their own

That's the whole tone of this thread, sadly. Each to their own.

It's sure reading like offence to me. Which is absolutely your right to take. And I wasn't that poster (it'll be hard for anyone who's still reading to keep track), so I'm not speaking for them. I just don't see pettiness or self importance or misogyny in that quoted paragraph. Or any actual rebuttal.

“I just don't see pettiness or self importance... “

Apparently not...

@pa1oma

“I just don't see pettiness or self importance... “

Apparently not...

Is there an actual rebuttal coming? I'm not hugely invested in this one, as it isn't my comment and I had my glorious time yesterday, but it would be nice to know.

Don’t worry about it.