Just want an empty house so I can use the loo

[needemptyhouse]

Am I the only person who wants an empty house when I need to do a number two?

It's like I get stage fright if there are others in the house.

Obviously lockdown is not helping as I am never home alone.

I will wait sometimes until I'm having a shower and use the loo then but sometimes I can't really hold it without getting very sore.

Tell me I'm not the only one please.

PS I don’t hold it in though and always find a way to go-as other have said it’s important for bottom
health!

Just say, "I'm going for a poo!" No one will care

Can’t you just run the shower at the same time, then hop in it afterwards for a quick wash? Then open the window to ‘air’ the bathroom from the shower steam (and stick some scented bleach down the loo!) Maybe scrub the sink a bit to imply you’ve been cleaning?

I used to be like this until I had kids. Then I realised kids don’t care at all about bodily functions and will announce to you when they need a poo (so you’re on hand to wipe them). Even getting my 6 year old to shut the bathroom door at home is a battle as she likes to ‘watch the landing’ while on the loo. So I just whisper to her when I’m going to the loo (we have a code for it) so she doesn’t disturb me for 5 minutes.

My mum uses the loo in the garage for extra privacy! (It’s a sort of utility room with washing machine etc).

When we have guests it’s trickier but I deliberately chose a house with a long corridor leading from master to en-suite (with 2 doors) so the en-suite feels private even if DH is in bed.

The guestroom has an en-suite too. But I know some couples hate en-suites so make it clear they can use the family/kids bathroom too (it’s always a bit of a mess of bath toys, toddler steps etc but private).

If we have visitors and nobody in the guestroom I make a point of telling them they can use the upstairs bathroom or guest en-suite if they want (dressed up as ‘more space and better light up there’) which is true but for some shy people they need you to actually show them in case they go in the wrong room.

I do wish people wouldn’t use the loo under the stairs for no 2s as it doesn’t flush well (and lacks privacy) but you can’t exactly tell them that only hint the alternatives are nicer!

Be careful booking hotels in Asia.

I never knew so many issues with pooing existed before I joined MN. It's a poo. Just have one.

Walk into the lounge, announce “alright everyone, all this pretending I don’t shit nonsense is ruining my asshole, so from now on I’m shitting with the door open, on my phone, because I can. If anyway calls me, I’ll just shout back that I’m doing a shit”

Pretty sure that’ll fix it.

@Changi I’ve stayed in two hotels with bathrooms just like that! One in Canada and one in Greece 😄

YANBU I had this problem for years! Anxiety every morning if I couldn't poop before work as I'd then have to be uncomfortable all day. I couldn't wee with people around either. It was the thought that someone would sense how long I was in there and KNOW. For years I refused to go to a festival as I was scared of the loos!
Now it is not a problem. The only embarrassing thing I face now is having to take a small child in a cubicle with me who likes to give a running commentary
I read that your body will feel the need to go where you feel comfortable. Whenever my sister or best friend visit, it's always a running joke that they need to poop in my home, as it's comforting! I take that as a compliment!
Also, I read somewhere that women push and men wait for it to fall out, so that might explain why men take longer!

I’ve stayed in two hotels with bathrooms just like that! One in Canada and one in Greece

Oh no! I thought it was just a far eastern thing.

I used to be like this a lot in a new relationship, as the house was small, and the toilet was on its own, separate, no taps, shower, and no LOCK!!

However as things progressed, its almost quite normal now to say i'm going upstairs to 'make room for dinner' or going to 'drop dirt' lol

I understand where it comes from, but I guess everyone in the house has to poo at some point so they could be as anxious as you at times?

However as things progressed, its almost quite normal now to say i'm going upstairs to 'make room for dinner' or going to 'drop dirt' lol

I am always surprised that some people feel the need to say anything at all.

Surely you can go to the loo without first placing an announcement in the Times.

@Changi

However as things progressed, its almost quite normal now to say i'm going upstairs to 'make room for dinner' or going to 'drop dirt' lol

I am always surprised that some people feel the need to say anything at all.

Surely you can go to the loo without first placing an announcement in the Times.

I was lightening the mood, with some of the jokes that we say, to give the OP some thought, that we all have to poo at some point.

I was like the OP and turned it round, to being a funny thing, and relieving the tension or moment.

I have tried to place an ad in the Times, but I don't recommend it. It usually comes out after 'the event' and sometimes its mis-spelt.

I'd be happy enough if the cat didn't come into the loo and insist on sitting between my knees and staring at me. Talk about performance pressure! if I take too long she goes and scratches in her tray to show me how it should be done. (badly apparently, often on the edge of the tray.)

I take too long she goes and scratches in her tray to show me how it should be done

Think yourself lucky, mine would be leading me out to the garden.

I have suffered from this problem all my life. Holding on for long periods as I couldn't use work loos, etc. I used to try to use them sometimes but couldn't relax enough. I was ok-ish at home but used to have a bath if anyone was around for years. Ended up with constipation, fissures, haemorrhoids, a haemorrhoidectomy and later bowel cancer. Not good! I'm fine now but some of that could possibly be avoided. Should have gone for counselling I think!

If it's the noise that you're worried about, later some toilet roll over the water and you won't get the dreaded 'plop' lol! If it's smell, invest in a poopourri spray and quiet air freshener spray.
5 years with fiancé and I still ask him to play music when I go 🤣

I feel like this when I stay with people , especially with my parents. Also because you never know if someone is going to be trying to talk to you, or calling you within minutes...

Thankfully we have 3 loos to choose from at home, and so I don’t suffer from stage frights.

There is no way I could ever go in a public loo and luckily my bowels concur.

On hotels or on holiday in general it can be a real issue, and it’s become the family joke that I can’t poo on holiday. Sometimes I’ve gone a whole week before I can go. I don’t know what happens, it’s awful!

No, I'm happy to go to the loo with my husband and son walking in and out. If my niephew didn't live with us, I would just leave the door open, and even they use the loo whilst I'm in the bath. I want an empty house so I can make some phone calls, do some cleaning and sorting and cook without interruptions.

Shy bowels are not rare sweetie, just lock that door say your washing hair or plucking eyebrows any excuse will do. Flush the loo for noise and go. Dont damage yourself, when your bowels go wrong its hell on earth.