Just want an empty house so I can use the loo

[needemptyhouse]

Am I the only person who wants an empty house when I need to do a number two?

It's like I get stage fright if there are others in the house.

Obviously lockdown is not helping as I am never home alone.

I will wait sometimes until I'm having a shower and use the loo then but sometimes I can't really hold it without getting very sore.

Tell me I'm not the only one please.

Blimey OP, do you think you need a bit of counselling? Not from a therapist but from someone who deals in bowel health? It’s not good for you to hold poo in. If you were to back up and have an impacted bowel that would be very bad for you.

Please eat more fibre or if you think that’s not the use, get help and some fibregel or other product to ease things along.

I feel quite slated by some of the replies on here!

I've always been quite prudish I guess, I would not break wind in the company of others, maybe it was my upbringing?

I don't know I'm very private, I have been with my husband over ten years and he probably has no idea I feel this way but I do feel this way and always have done.

Mornings when no one is home I can do a poo as soon as I am awake, if others are home I just don't have the same urgency about going.

I do have occasions where I feel constipated and definitely was during pregnancies.

I now feel like I am really odd! Which actually feels worse than my original issue.

Run the tap and then poo!

I have ulcerative colitis and understand how you feel. I have sat in public washrooms many times praying for the two people who are chatting to get the heck out so I can have some privacy. Lots of times I can't wait and they vacate quickly!

In a home, try turning on the taps. It makes me feel a bit better. I always laugh at fellow IBD sufferers who have their kids or friends start the noisy hand dryer in public washrooms!

I struggle when there's a house full. I use the en-suite and shut the bedroom door as well but if anyone comes in the bedroom I can't go.
It's one of the reasons I hate staying in a hotel.

I blame high school. There were always hateful girls hanging round the toilets who would rip the back off anyone who made any sound or smell.
I used to try and sneak in the boys or teachers toilets if I was desperate.

Rumour has it that even Her Majesty the Queen sits on the bog, reads the Racing Post and curls one out on a regular basis.

Seriously, though, this really isn’t healthy. Your body isn’t designed to stop itself pooing, and it isn’t a good idea to force it to. Run a tap, put the radio on, open a window, do what you need to do to allow your body to perform its natural functions.

Toilet paper in the loo to avoid poo drop sound, tap running and a discreet house spray thingy afterwards

You're not odd.

Could you tell your husband? Not when you need a poo, but just as a sort of confession. He has probably worked it out anyway.

I feel quite slated by some of the replies on here!
it's rough isnt it, all these people breezily saying 'even the queen goes you know' have no idea how it feels to be crippled by these anxieties.
As if all we need to do is realise how 'silly' we are being and the problem will go!

You are not alone.
I can date when it started for me. My mother and sister liked to pick at me about everything. One day I came out of the downstairs loo having been for a number 2, as they happened to be walking by, both made comments about the smell (think of two school kids together, like that) and exaggerating how bad it was etc. I was utterly mortified and humiliated. But you know, normal behaviour from them, they most likely thought nothing of it.
At the time I would have been around 12/13? I left home at 25. For all those years I stopped going to the loo for a number 2, at home or anywhere else. I used to hold it, then go for a no 2 on a Sunday night, in the upstairs bathroom (occasionally would try another night but I was so bunged up and so scared of someone hearing it smelling something I couldn't go) when the whole family were happily installed downstairs in the living room watching some drama they liked.
I spent years thinking of the next time I could go to the loo. I was permanently bloated, had anal fissures permanently due to how hard the no 2 was when it came out. Everytime I would cry going to the loo, it was utterly agonising. Part was fear that I would have to ask my mother to take me to hospital for it to be removed, and the humiliation that would bring. It was horrific.
The instant I moved out into my new house with my partner (who started work at 4 am, bliss...) I found I needed to go at least twice a day. It was utter heaven to have my own loo.
Please ignore others who have made you feel slated. I used to utterly freeze up, it was impossible to go. It's not something you can help.
I did once read about therapy, that being CBT therapy. For me it was having children around all the time, then we started going camping and having to share loos, that improved things for me in public loos anyway.
Anyway, you're not alone with this or being ridiculous xx

Put the TV on to distract the DC for 15 mins. Give them snacks too, if they're old enough to eat unsupervised. Close the doors and disappear!

I used to be like this. Mainly after being with a guy that would take the mickey every time I went number 2. Oh that's gross, omg do you really smell like that.

Presumably his smelt of roses and summer meadows?

I’m the same but quite open about it. I make my other half go off somewhere ( don’t share a house but on holiday etc) when I heed a poo but luckily I’m pretty regular so he knows.
It’s just a bit grim with period poos - I get a really jippy tummy a few days before.

I ‘d hate to hear a big poo at work and find a smelly cubicle. It’s grim in a place everyone has to use inside. The outdoor loo is my dream!

Some of the nasty comments are very grim frankly.

There's nothing wrong with having a bit of pride in yourself, and not behaving like an animal. Yes, it's natural, but privacy and a bit of self respect don't hurt. I don't take my tampax out in front of my family either, and my periods are just as natural as anything else.

I can't for the life of me find anything remotely attractive in a man that would have a poo or fart around. If others are not bothered, I don't care. I would walk out of a date if someone did that on our first dates! I deserve as much respect now than I did pre-kids.

I had 4 kids, I am still laughing at the "you won't care who is there when you give birth" nonsense. It's total bollocks, some of us were very aware and yes would have very much care!

There's something pathetically childish in being so smug and vocal about your toilet needs.

@ancientgran

Bring back the old lavvie in the back yard.

The cold kept the smell down too! Are we having squares of newspaper on a nail too? Never short of something to read in that case.

I am a bit prudish. I was brought up that way, I remember my Mum almost curling up with embarrassment when I started my periods and had to ask her for sanitary products.

I vowed to change when I had my own kids but I have never completely got over it. I think you need to find a way to talk to your husband, I think you will feel so much better if you can tell someone and maybe he can help you work something out. I would be quite happen to go out into the garden for 10 minutes to let you go if I was in your family and I knew how much you were suffering.

I do really think you need to do something though, or you are going to cause yourself some physical harm.

You are not alone though, I used to work with someone who could never poo in the toilet at work, I never quite worked out how she managed it but she always waited until she got home.

Oh yes, used to read bits of The News of the World at grannies, very hard to put the whole story together though and very annoying when key bits were missing.

@Thewinterofdiscontent

I’m the same but quite open about it. I make my other half go off somewhere ( don’t share a house but on holiday etc) when I heed a poo but luckily I’m pretty regular so he knows. It’s just a bit grim with period poos - I get a really jippy tummy a few days before.

I ‘d hate to hear a big poo at work and find a smelly cubicle. It’s grim in a place everyone has to use inside. The outdoor loo is my dream!

I'm the same. 'You need to go away now, and put some music on your phone, because I have to do a poo.' My discomfort has always been viewed as if it's endearing, which is why I've asked OP if she's told her partner. It's very sweet when you look at your partner and they just know, and say 'I think I'll just pop out to the shop. Shall I make you a brew when I come back?'

I used to volunteer at a place that had a composting loo. It was up some steps, the walls were hessian, and there was a hole just at the right height so that you could look at the countryside whilst you sat there. It was AMAZING.

Not being neurotic about using a toilet for it's intended purpose doesn't mean that you're some sort of swamp creature that sits around shitting and farting in company.

Yes I get this, especially if someone talks to me, is just outside the door, or watching me (toddlers). I like to know I am alone and in private!

"There's nothing wrong with having a bit of pride in yourself, and not behaving like an animal. Yes, it's natural, but privacy and a bit of self respect don't hurt. I don't take my tampax out in front of my family either, and my periods are just as natural as anything else."

But OP's problem is not someone being in the toilet with her, which would be a problem for loads of people, but someone being in the house. That's quite different.

Hi - you aren’t weird ! It’s shy bowel
Anxiety disorder
Some people suffer from shy bladder too
It’s a thing
It can get better 👍

There's nothing wrong with having a bit of pride in yourself, and not behaving like an animal. Yes, it's natural, but privacy and a bit of self respect don't hurt. I don't take my tampax out in front of my family either, and my periods are just as natural as anything else.

What are you talking about? Firstly humans are animals and secondly nobody on this thread is talking about pooing in front of anyone. People are saying it's perfectly natural to poo in the bathroom when there is someone else in the house, they're not suggesting that everyone should invite their entire family, their neighbours and random passing strangers to come and stand in the bathroom and watch.

In my early twenties I moved into an apartment with my then BF. We lived in an apartment with a concierge/doorman on the ground floor and next to him was a bathroom. For the 2 years we lived there, whenever I needed a number 2 I would say I was popping downstairs to see if I had any parcels and go to the entrance toilet! The concierge must have thought I was mental and BF never questioned it. It was just such a small apartment and the bathroom was central to it, that I couldnt go with him in the apartment.