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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Felt ill and warned dp about eating - goes straight to eat it

275 replies

Keepdistance · 07/01/2021 20:15

Aibu to be cross with dp
because me and 1 dc had a stomach ache and i said i thought it was 'x as we both ate it at the same time earlier
Checked that dp hadnt eaten it and said something like 'good you havent eaten it'.
I went off to do some printing and came back found him eating it!

I am just so angry that he heard, understood then did it anyway. But really i dont care if he makes himself ill - his choice. but in a position where potentially 2 of us already ill (2 bathrooms) and having to look after myself and the 2 kids whilst he was also ill would have been infuriating.

We were fine my stomacheache went after a couple of hours and dc fell asleep and was ok.
I just feel it was irresponsible and selfish and ignoring what i told him.

He still wont hear it. Making out im trying to control him. !
Will not listen to me saying it's the not thinking of others that is annoying me. He could easily have eaten it the next day instead.
It is not the case i frequently complain (and i wasnt at this time either) so not sure if it was a misunderstanding that i did feel quite ill. )

So i ask him to just not do that again (as in eat something that could be gone off (whilst im already ill and we have kids to look after) and he wont.
He is generally pretty selfish and we end up arguing sometimes as he does the same things over and again.
I dont know if he argues because he cant be wrong. But he seems to genuinely think it's ok. (Though tbh it would generally be me watching ill dc after possibly help clearing up initial vomit.). I dont think im asking too much.
Im concerned that he cares more about eating x (something sweet) than well anyone other than him.
Tbh i feel that the kids have more sense!
It really isnt a do as i say think
1 i just cant see why he would make the choice he did anyway
2 if he is going to ignore he could at least have said.
3 he wont let me explain that it's about more than just him. And honestly i still think he would only think about him
4 obviously unlikely to happen again but if it did i wouldnt trust him (and also would he ignore what i said and feed it to the kids?!! and would likely have to rush down and immediately bin the food.

He also has said why are you just arguing about x food. Cannot see my concerns at all. y

It is often not even about the choices he makes at the time but he wont see any other side and ends up arguing as he would choose to make the decision again. And i sometimes feel i dont want to live with someone who cant discuss without arguing.

He literally doesnt listen properly either and adds details in his own head. was saying i said loose stomach (i didnt). Tried to say similar to that oh it's because youve been eating rubbish and are bloated etc.
He was actually quite offensive saying im crazy etc.
And i can see to him it seems an overreaction.
I think it's also that he wouldnt even consider not having something he wanted even though it might impact others. Whereas i would say 'youre right i'll eat something else (plenty there) just in case, dont wan t everyone ill at once.

OP posts:
Loshad · 07/01/2021 23:36

Not stomach upsets, just stomach ache 😣

MeowPurrGrr · 07/01/2021 23:40

I gave up reading half way through that very long winded rant about some good that may cause him a tummy ache!!

Firstly, I think he’s old enough to sort himself out so I’m sure he can wipe his own arse if he gets the shits!
Secondly, he’s old enough to make his own decision on what he eats.
Thirdly, why the hell didn’t you throw away the toxic, poisonous, man killing good?!!

SchrodingersImmigrant · 07/01/2021 23:41

Omg that's hilarious even if it's not the same op😂

MorrisZapp · 07/01/2021 23:42

@KarlKennedysDurianFruit

THIS! This is what MN is about, irrational person making a huge drama over an unmentionable pudding that could've wiped out the whole family, leaving them in some kind of billious two bathroom purgatory, yelling at the foolhardy DH for not being able to resist eating a bit too, because 'the children won't somebody think of the children'! At least it's not another bloody Covid thread. Ducks in a row, then LTB OP.
Awesome work 👌
MorrisZapp · 07/01/2021 23:46

I'm not saying this is you OP but my DP can out-snack any comer. He eats a normal dinner, then grazes through a mountain of cake, crisps, twiglet things and old man sweets from Marks and Spencers.

When he is finally crashed on his back, groaning and loosening his jeans, he says 'don't eat those humbugs I think they're off'.

Eckhart · 07/01/2021 23:47

@arethereanyleftatall

What kind? Custard creams?
Stoat creams.
Sinful8 · 07/01/2021 23:49

@Nancylovesthecock

Why would you go straight to eat something that someone told you they thought was off and had made them ill.

What fucking weird behaviour.

What if the person has form for being a hypochondriac over things like this?
oakleaffy · 07/01/2021 23:54

Just re-joined the thread,

Does anyone know what the offending foodstuff was yet??

oakleaffy · 07/01/2021 23:56

Op wrote this.

I know something she doesn't.

This:

{Quote}

Obviously now i know his mindset i will be binning anything. Immediately lol.
Im not sure why he ignored it. (Though suspect it's mainly that he has no willpower with food).
It is certainly not like i constantly have stomach issues. More likely it's his opinion for himself as he has IBS sometimes

She is married to my old neighbour's Labrador.

BendyLikeBeckham · 08/01/2021 00:00

@MorrisZapp

I'm not saying this is you OP but my DP can out-snack any comer. He eats a normal dinner, then grazes through a mountain of cake, crisps, twiglet things and old man sweets from Marks and Spencers.

When he is finally crashed on his back, groaning and loosening his jeans, he says 'don't eat those humbugs I think they're off'.

brilliant! Grin
anewdispensation · 08/01/2021 00:01

Much ado about nothing 🤷🏽‍♀️

jgjgjgjgjg · 08/01/2021 00:03

Oh for goodness sake. It sounds like you regularly make a huge fuss about nothing. You had a stomach ache. Not food poisoning or anything even approaching it. He probably knew, rightly it appears, that the chances were extremely high that the food was absolutely fine.

LadyMinerva · 08/01/2021 00:03

Good grief.. If you rambled on to DP as much as you did in your OP then no wonder he didn't listen. His eyes had probably glazed over before you reached the part about the contaminated food.

Just throw it out if it's made you ill.

Eckhart · 08/01/2021 00:10

@LadyMinerva

Good grief.. If you rambled on to DP as much as you did in your OP then no wonder he didn't listen. His eyes had probably glazed over before you reached the part about the contaminated food.

Just throw it out if it's made you ill.

He might have been deliberately trying to make himself sick, in an attempt to escape OP's inability to make a clear point.
Keepdistance · 08/01/2021 00:11

Sorry didnt want to say it was cream cake as identifying.
Certainly not a hypochondriac as ive only once had food poinsoning over 10y ago and we were both affected at the same time. So not like im frequently saying ive eaten something dodgy. or feel ill etc.

OP posts:
TheUnquestionedAnswer · 08/01/2021 00:13

It's annoying me that we don't know what the food is Grin

RileyG73 · 08/01/2021 00:14

Cream cake is definitely identifiable.

Eckhart · 08/01/2021 00:17

It is a food which is very unlikely to make ill/go off generally

Cream cake? You're saying cream is unlikely to go off? Cream goes off if you look at it too hard.

StopSquirtingBleachOnCaneToads · 08/01/2021 00:18

Cream cake would have to be seriously dodgey for me to consider not eating it.

It's a delicious cream cake, for goodness sake.

1forAll74 · 08/01/2021 00:20

A very big non issue,that does not require any advice.

madmara · 08/01/2021 00:22

Cream cake is identifying???

That aside, I think referring to him as "defiant" is unusual. People might refer to children as being defiant, not an adult they choose to be in a relationship with.

Pinkdelight3 · 08/01/2021 00:27

Ah that makes sense. You say cream cakes and instantly I want a cream cake. I can't listen to anything else you say. I just wait for your mouth to stop moving until I can get to the cream cake and eat it. YUM! Easily done. No biggie. (I'm not your husband. this is a normal reaction)

And cream cakes are identifying???? Too funny.

Anoisagusaris · 08/01/2021 00:35

Omg I haven’t laughed this much in years....cream cake is identifying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Yeah you are the only person on here who has cream cake 😂😂😂😂

Pumpkinpied · 08/01/2021 00:44

Cream cake is unlikely to go off? The sweet treat with the shortest shelf-life, bullshit. I bet it was honey but you googled it and realised you were were as batshit as your opener makes you sound.

Sinful8 · 08/01/2021 00:47

@Keepdistance

Sorry didnt want to say it was cream cake as identifying. Certainly not a hypochondriac as ive only once had food poinsoning over 10y ago and we were both affected at the same time. So not like im frequently saying ive eaten something dodgy. or feel ill etc.
I am so deeply curious how cream cake is identifying