Felt ill and warned dp about eating - goes straight to eat it

[Keepdistance]

Aibu to be cross with dp
because me and 1 dc had a stomach ache and i said i thought it was 'x as we both ate it at the same time earlier
Checked that dp hadnt eaten it and said something like 'good you havent eaten it'.
I went off to do some printing and came back found him eating it!

I am just so angry that he heard, understood then did it anyway. But really i dont care if he makes himself ill - his choice. but in a position where potentially 2 of us already ill (2 bathrooms) and having to look after myself and the 2 kids whilst he was also ill would have been infuriating.

We were fine my stomacheache went after a couple of hours and dc fell asleep and was ok.
I just feel it was irresponsible and selfish and ignoring what i told him.

He still wont hear it. Making out im trying to control him. !
Will not listen to me saying it's the not thinking of others that is annoying me. He could easily have eaten it the next day instead.
It is not the case i frequently complain (and i wasnt at this time either) so not sure if it was a misunderstanding that i did feel quite ill. )

So i ask him to just not do that again (as in eat something that could be gone off (whilst im already ill and we have kids to look after) and he wont.
He is generally pretty selfish and we end up arguing sometimes as he does the same things over and again.
I dont know if he argues because he cant be wrong. But he seems to genuinely think it's ok. (Though tbh it would generally be me watching ill dc after possibly help clearing up initial vomit.). I dont think im asking too much.
Im concerned that he cares more about eating x (something sweet) than well anyone other than him.
Tbh i feel that the kids have more sense!
It really isnt a do as i say think
1 i just cant see why he would make the choice he did anyway
2 if he is going to ignore he could at least have said.
3 he wont let me explain that it's about more than just him. And honestly i still think he would only think about him
4 obviously unlikely to happen again but if it did i wouldnt trust him (and also would he ignore what i said and feed it to the kids?!! and would likely have to rush down and immediately bin the food.

He also has said why are you just arguing about x food. Cannot see my concerns at all. y

It is often not even about the choices he makes at the time but he wont see any other side and ends up arguing as he would choose to make the decision again. And i sometimes feel i dont want to live with someone who cant discuss without arguing.

He literally doesnt listen properly either and adds details in his own head. was saying i said loose stomach (i didnt). Tried to say similar to that oh it's because youve been eating rubbish and are bloated etc.
He was actually quite offensive saying im crazy etc.
And i can see to him it seems an overreaction.
I think it's also that he wouldnt even consider not having something he wanted even though it might impact others. Whereas i would say 'youre right i'll eat something else (plenty there) just in case, dont wan t everyone ill at once.

Some people seem more susceptible to food poisoning than others. I'm talking mild food poisoning as you describe, not a full on projectile D&V scenario. If your DP is one of these 'cast iron stomach' types, then fair enough.

Op - you talk of your husband not listening to you, but have you listened to anyone on this thread?
You've picked up on the odd one or two posters who've agreed with you, and ignored the 90% who don't.
I would suggest that's exactly what your husband did..

@IPead

Having health anxiety isn’t about being ill all the time, it’s about being unusually preoccupied/concerned with becoming ill.

There also seems to be quite a lot of anxiety about the mention of cream cakes leading everyone on MN to know exactly who the OP is, which is quite a leap. Unless she's told everyone she knows in RL this same story?

My husband just said he saw this on Dadsnet

"My wife tried to keep a whole cream cake from me by telling me it was off - saw through it"

😱

It depends what the food was, if it was out of date or mouldy etc (if so you should have binned it!)

My DH will often eat out of date food and be fine! He’s even eaten mouldy food and been fine. Same on holiday, he can drink the tap water and I can’t. People have different sensitivities. I’m prone to D&V, DH is not.

Also your DC and you could have had a virus not food poisoning (the latter usually takes 24 hours at least to come on, it’s rarely within hours unless the food is so spoiled it’s teeming with bacteria). In which case it would taste odd and smell strange!

You sound rather controlling tbh.

There have been times when DC and I have had brief vomiting bugs, I normally put it down to a virus not something we ate. Or coincidence. It wouldn’t cross my mind to tell DH not to eat something. If I genuinely feared it was off I’d bin it before he had the chance to ‘test’ it. I think you’re taking this too seriously.

What a thread. Eight pages to find the food was cream cakes.

If anyone had told me they think the cream cakes in the fridge might be off, I'd be alarmed that they might go to waste, so I too would immediately check them out - and if I thought they actually looked fine, I'd be mindful that their window might be closing and would consider it necessary to eat one immediately.

TAAT as OP didn’t like replies on her first thread.

I get the impression the OP doesn’t like any reply that isn’t ‘Yes dear’. She could have thought ‘I think that cake’s off; better bin it’. Instead, she leaves it in the fridge, but tells her husband not to eat it, before throwing a strop when he dares to disobey. She didn’t want to stop him eating the cake full stop - she wanted him not to eat it because she said so.

It isn't really the thought that he could've become ill from eating the food though, is it OP? You're annoyed because he didn't listen to you

Yep, this is it in a nutshell. The OP is one of those people who likes to ‘offer advice’, but is basically giving an order.

It shows a lack of respect for his wife's opinion

She doesn’t want respect - she wants agreement.

Cream cake, identifying?? Oh that's definitely her that lives at 124 High Street, Shrewsbury!

Sorry didnt want to say it was cream cake as identifying.

This is the most 'WTAF?!' thing I have EVER head on here!

You should have thrown the offending cream cake away when you realised it was probably off. Problem solved.

@Norwayreally

You should have thrown the offending cream cake away when you realised it was probably off. Problem solved.

OP only had a bit of tummy ache. Possibly the problem with the cake was that her slice was too big...

Cream cake if identifying?

Jesus, better not mention the Brussels sprouts 🙄

I think you're being incredibly dramatic. I think he was a bit daft taking a chance when it appeared it might have made you unwell, but you're being totally over the top thinking he shouldn't have done it for the reasons you do. Seriously, you're making out he's done something abhorrent, not just eaten some cream cake.

I’m with everyone else on laughing at the idea that cream cake is identifying in any way at all.

I’d tell you all that we’ve got a LG tv that we watch Netflix on. But it would be too identifying. So I’m going to awkwardly refer to the screen that we watch a streaming service on.

And at the idea that it wouldn’t be incredibly obvious if it were bad. A cream cake doesn’t even fit the description of a food that’s unlikely to go off. One of those boxes caterpillar cakes from the supermarket would though.

@gannett

What a thread. Eight pages to find the food was cream cakes.

If anyone had told me they think the cream cakes in the fridge might be off, I'd be alarmed that they might go to waste, so I too would immediately check them out - and if I thought they actually looked fine, I'd be mindful that their window might be closing and would consider it necessary to eat one immediately.

That sounds like a completely reasonable thought process.

I’d absolutely trust my DH to exercise his own judgement about whether or not to eat a cream cake that might be a bit past it’s best. He’s got eyes and a nose, and they both work.

If cream cake is identifying, I'm a bit worried that I might be OP.

@Eckhart

If cream cake is identifying, I'm a bit worried that I might be OP.

I've reported the other thread about the cheese and crackers in case it outs the OP.

My mum used to stand next to me when I was brushing my teeth and turn the tap off in between brushing and rinsing to save water. She also made out like I was going to die a slow and painful death when I made a butty with some 2 day out of date ham. I was 17 at the time, I moved out to a disgusting flat that I could barely afford in a grim area when I turned 18 just so I could live without feeling constantly watched. I'm nearly 34 now with 3 children of my own and I think she apologised in her own way recently, she knew she had slowly pecked away at me and drove me away. I'm not saying you're a bad person but just be careful how much you nitpick because everyone is different. He's got different standards to you and I'm sure you must do things that annoy him..... I was conjuring up ways to murder my fella the other day when he loaded the dishwasher wrong and left his socks on the floor 😂 ask yourself if you would be happier without him? Because I know I'd rather load the dishwasher myself and have a lifetime of random socks on the floor than be without my best mate. Xxx

Defiant? What an odd word to use about your husband. Sounds like something you’d say about a child.

It shows a lack of respect for his wife's opinion

And she shows a lack of respect for his autonomy, swings and roundabouts

@imworthit I thought the same, I just hope he 'defies' her and leaves her soon. I feel so sorry for him

@Gyeonggiflufficoochi

Ignore my last reply, I hadn't realised it was an out of date cream cake. If a guy won't eat a slightly out of date cream cake then he's almost definitely not going to be a freak in bed is he? I think you should lighten up a bit before the poor guy gets fed up and finds himself a stripper who let's him eat whatever he wants out of her ass.

This is gold 😂😂😂😂

There is an enormous amount of misogyny in his actions. He really is letting you know who he is.

Oh god, laughing so hard 😂😂😂🥳🎂 even eating cream cake is misogynistic now.

This is really the cherry on the cake of utterly stupid fucking comments. This is brilliant. I can’t cope 🤣

Ignore my last reply, I hadn't realised it was an out of date cream cake. If a guy won't eat a slightly out of date cream cake then he's almost definitely not going to be a freak in bed is he? I think you should lighten up a bit before the poor guy gets fed up and finds himself a stripper who let's him eat whatever he wants out of her ass.

😂😂 wow this thread really moved on !!

OP you need to relax seriously . 🤷🏻‍♀️