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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Felt ill and warned dp about eating - goes straight to eat it

275 replies

Keepdistance · 07/01/2021 20:15

Aibu to be cross with dp
because me and 1 dc had a stomach ache and i said i thought it was 'x as we both ate it at the same time earlier
Checked that dp hadnt eaten it and said something like 'good you havent eaten it'.
I went off to do some printing and came back found him eating it!

I am just so angry that he heard, understood then did it anyway. But really i dont care if he makes himself ill - his choice. but in a position where potentially 2 of us already ill (2 bathrooms) and having to look after myself and the 2 kids whilst he was also ill would have been infuriating.

We were fine my stomacheache went after a couple of hours and dc fell asleep and was ok.
I just feel it was irresponsible and selfish and ignoring what i told him.

He still wont hear it. Making out im trying to control him. !
Will not listen to me saying it's the not thinking of others that is annoying me. He could easily have eaten it the next day instead.
It is not the case i frequently complain (and i wasnt at this time either) so not sure if it was a misunderstanding that i did feel quite ill. )

So i ask him to just not do that again (as in eat something that could be gone off (whilst im already ill and we have kids to look after) and he wont.
He is generally pretty selfish and we end up arguing sometimes as he does the same things over and again.
I dont know if he argues because he cant be wrong. But he seems to genuinely think it's ok. (Though tbh it would generally be me watching ill dc after possibly help clearing up initial vomit.). I dont think im asking too much.
Im concerned that he cares more about eating x (something sweet) than well anyone other than him.
Tbh i feel that the kids have more sense!
It really isnt a do as i say think
1 i just cant see why he would make the choice he did anyway
2 if he is going to ignore he could at least have said.
3 he wont let me explain that it's about more than just him. And honestly i still think he would only think about him
4 obviously unlikely to happen again but if it did i wouldnt trust him (and also would he ignore what i said and feed it to the kids?!! and would likely have to rush down and immediately bin the food.

He also has said why are you just arguing about x food. Cannot see my concerns at all. y

It is often not even about the choices he makes at the time but he wont see any other side and ends up arguing as he would choose to make the decision again. And i sometimes feel i dont want to live with someone who cant discuss without arguing.

He literally doesnt listen properly either and adds details in his own head. was saying i said loose stomach (i didnt). Tried to say similar to that oh it's because youve been eating rubbish and are bloated etc.
He was actually quite offensive saying im crazy etc.
And i can see to him it seems an overreaction.
I think it's also that he wouldnt even consider not having something he wanted even though it might impact others. Whereas i would say 'youre right i'll eat something else (plenty there) just in case, dont wan t everyone ill at once.

OP posts:
Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 07/01/2021 22:36

YABU for the length of post alone Grin

honkytonkheroe · 07/01/2021 22:37

So many words about not a lot.

Eckhart · 07/01/2021 22:37

She only had a bit of tummy ache! She went off to do some printing... she wasn't incapacitated.

MysweetAudrina · 07/01/2021 22:37

I thought it was badger and rice, but don't think that's overly sweet but maybe gone off badger and rice is sweeter than fresh.

Candyfloss99 · 07/01/2021 22:38

If i was him I'd have tried it to see if it really was off.

StopSquirtingBleachOnCaneToads · 07/01/2021 22:39

Badger and rice is a bit dicey - you can't leave it out for too long or it goes off. I would have just chucked it out. Weasel would probably be fine though

Eckhart · 07/01/2021 22:40

Badger.

Badger?!

arethereanyleftatall · 07/01/2021 22:41

I honestly don't think it was badger and rice. There isn't loads of badger about at the moment.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 07/01/2021 22:41

@StopSquirtingBleachOnCaneToads

Badger and rice is a bit dicey - you can't leave it out for too long or it goes off. I would have just chucked it out. Weasel would probably be fine though
A roadkill? 😂 I am sure i remember thread lile that😂
ilhahih · 07/01/2021 22:43

You are being ridiculous.
I just cannot understand why you wouldn't throw it out when it had made two people ill.
Instead you tell him not to eat it. He decides to eat it anyway. (Is he always like this? Sounds like he did it deliberately because you said not to)

Such a drama. Fucking hell, I had food poisoning before Christmas. The offending item went straight in the bin.

DuzzyFuck · 07/01/2021 22:43

Badger can be dodgy but Polecat definitely only improves with age, which is one of the clues, so my vote is for Polecat & custard.

GrandTheftWalrus · 07/01/2021 22:46

I just read 7 pages to find out the bloody food and it wasn't there! No doubt the thread will be taken down before we find out!

katnyps · 07/01/2021 22:57

ME TOO!! Hats off to DuzzyFuck and Eckhart Grin

KarlKennedysDurianFruit · 07/01/2021 23:00

THIS! This is what MN is about, irrational person making a huge drama over an unmentionable pudding that could've wiped out the whole family, leaving them in some kind of billious two bathroom purgatory, yelling at the foolhardy DH for not being able to resist eating a bit too, because 'the children won't somebody think of the children'! At least it's not another bloody Covid thread. Ducks in a row, then LTB OP.

StopSquirtingBleachOnCaneToads · 07/01/2021 23:00

Polecat and custard? Hm... Don't want to be a MN foodsnob but unless you've made the custard yourself from scratch it sounds a bit... common.

I always have it the traditional way, with proper Cornish clotted cream.

ThePerfectPintOfIceColdBeer · 07/01/2021 23:00

Oh my goodness I too just read all this to find out the food and... It's not their???

TrialOfStyle · 07/01/2021 23:07

It is a food which is very unlikely to make ill/go off generally.

Plus to me not eating x wasnt really a big deal, he had already had chocolate etc and there were other things to eat.

A treat of some sort then. Probably not baked goods. Crisps? Biscuits? What is this mysterious food item?

Madethisjustforthispost · 07/01/2021 23:11

Like many others have said, why didn't you throw it as soon as you thought it had made you feel sick?
Did you leave it out as a test?

clpsmum · 07/01/2021 23:13

Why didn't you throw it away if it made you ill?

Greysparkles · 07/01/2021 23:18

Trifle, with proper ladyfingers

Loshad · 07/01/2021 23:22

TAAT as OP didn’t like replies on her first thread.
The food in question is biscuits, that well known source of food poisoning 🤣

SchrodingersImmigrant · 07/01/2021 23:28

@Loshad

TAAT as OP didn’t like replies on her first thread. The food in question is biscuits, that well known source of food poisoning 🤣
Whaaat. Link? Please😁
arethereanyleftatall · 07/01/2021 23:32

Are you serious @Loshad ?!?

Biscuits?!? Wtaf.

arethereanyleftatall · 07/01/2021 23:34

What kind? Custard creams?

Loshad · 07/01/2021 23:34

I am deadly serious
Can’t find other thread 😳 but read the exact same scenario earlier tonight where OP moaned about DH eating food that had given her and dc stomach upsets etc etc, all of the info is identical but she got her arse handed to her on that thread