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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Felt ill and warned dp about eating - goes straight to eat it

275 replies

Keepdistance · 07/01/2021 20:15

Aibu to be cross with dp
because me and 1 dc had a stomach ache and i said i thought it was 'x as we both ate it at the same time earlier
Checked that dp hadnt eaten it and said something like 'good you havent eaten it'.
I went off to do some printing and came back found him eating it!

I am just so angry that he heard, understood then did it anyway. But really i dont care if he makes himself ill - his choice. but in a position where potentially 2 of us already ill (2 bathrooms) and having to look after myself and the 2 kids whilst he was also ill would have been infuriating.

We were fine my stomacheache went after a couple of hours and dc fell asleep and was ok.
I just feel it was irresponsible and selfish and ignoring what i told him.

He still wont hear it. Making out im trying to control him. !
Will not listen to me saying it's the not thinking of others that is annoying me. He could easily have eaten it the next day instead.
It is not the case i frequently complain (and i wasnt at this time either) so not sure if it was a misunderstanding that i did feel quite ill. )

So i ask him to just not do that again (as in eat something that could be gone off (whilst im already ill and we have kids to look after) and he wont.
He is generally pretty selfish and we end up arguing sometimes as he does the same things over and again.
I dont know if he argues because he cant be wrong. But he seems to genuinely think it's ok. (Though tbh it would generally be me watching ill dc after possibly help clearing up initial vomit.). I dont think im asking too much.
Im concerned that he cares more about eating x (something sweet) than well anyone other than him.
Tbh i feel that the kids have more sense!
It really isnt a do as i say think
1 i just cant see why he would make the choice he did anyway
2 if he is going to ignore he could at least have said.
3 he wont let me explain that it's about more than just him. And honestly i still think he would only think about him
4 obviously unlikely to happen again but if it did i wouldnt trust him (and also would he ignore what i said and feed it to the kids?!! and would likely have to rush down and immediately bin the food.

He also has said why are you just arguing about x food. Cannot see my concerns at all. y

It is often not even about the choices he makes at the time but he wont see any other side and ends up arguing as he would choose to make the decision again. And i sometimes feel i dont want to live with someone who cant discuss without arguing.

He literally doesnt listen properly either and adds details in his own head. was saying i said loose stomach (i didnt). Tried to say similar to that oh it's because youve been eating rubbish and are bloated etc.
He was actually quite offensive saying im crazy etc.
And i can see to him it seems an overreaction.
I think it's also that he wouldnt even consider not having something he wanted even though it might impact others. Whereas i would say 'youre right i'll eat something else (plenty there) just in case, dont wan t everyone ill at once.

OP posts:
Jumpalicious · 07/01/2021 20:17

Question: why didn’t you chuck out the suspect food rather than leave it out?

lljkk · 07/01/2021 20:18

I'll bet he won't be in the slightest bit ill now.

FlibbertyGiblets · 07/01/2021 20:20

Well yes, toss it out. If it isn't fit for consumption get in the bin.

Cba to read long screed sorry.

LivingMyBestLife2020 · 07/01/2021 20:21

Bin the food!? There wouldn’t be N issue then?

Leavethelightson · 07/01/2021 20:21

If you thought something had made 2 people ill why not throw it out?

Why would it be ok for him to eat it the next day when it would presumably be even more off? Confused

BakedTattie · 07/01/2021 20:22

What a complete non issue

WeeWillyWanky · 07/01/2021 20:23

If the food was dodgy why did you keep it?

Brinksmanship · 07/01/2021 20:24

Yeah you shoulda chucked it out as soon as you realised it was dodgy.

mamaoffourdc · 07/01/2021 20:25

Jeez you seem like hard work

MadameButterface · 07/01/2021 20:25

What they all said. And, really, you had belly ache for a couple of hours, it’s not like you were having the last rites read to you

Floatyboat · 07/01/2021 20:25

You sound very controlling. I hope your husband can access support if needed.

satnighttakeaway · 07/01/2021 20:26

Aside from the question of what the food is that you wouldn't know it might be so out of date to make you ill what's the reason for not immediately throwing it away

sammylady37 · 07/01/2021 20:27

You didn’t want him eating it there and then but think it’s be ok for him to eat it the next day?

Crappyfridays7 · 07/01/2021 20:27

Why didn’t you just throw it in the bin?
You’ve most likely got a bug
V ott reaction feel for your dh

KrisAkabusi · 07/01/2021 20:28

If he hasn't got sick, he was right wasn't he?

FrankButchersDickieBow · 07/01/2021 20:30

Mountain. Molehill.

Cba reading the full thing as it was a yawnfest.

itsgettingweird · 07/01/2021 20:30

Something is off you bin it.

That way you don't need a huge argument over something as simple as a grown adult making a stupid decision but a decision they had a right to make for themself 🤷‍♀️

UrsulaVdL · 07/01/2021 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Keepdistance · 07/01/2021 20:32

I see what you are saying re throwing away
It is a food which is very unlikely to make ill/go off generally. But food could get contaminated i guess
And i probably thought having said something he would not eat it. and only about 20min passed between my conversation and him eating it. So i hadnt had a chance to really.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 07/01/2021 20:34

I think that you need to remind yourself that he's your partner not your child. Unless you want to be 'she who must be obeyed'.

Nancylovesthecock · 07/01/2021 20:35

Why would you go straight to eat something that someone told you they thought was off and had made them ill.

What fucking weird behaviour.

MadameButterface · 07/01/2021 20:35

Holy shit, your kitchen must be massive, how long does it take you to walk to the bin?

Wheresmykimchi · 07/01/2021 20:36

In drained reading this Grin

okokok000 · 07/01/2021 20:37

This makes no sense as (1) why did you not throw it away. Sorry I really don't understand from your last post; (2) it's odd behaviour on his part.

popNlock · 07/01/2021 20:39

Yes it is a bit dramatic. He's a grown man. Who can choose to eat somthing regardless of whether his mummy told him to or not . It's not an issue.