What’s the perks of dating you?

[Lockdowner35]

You can live in a nice house.

I don’t drink so you have a designated driver, every time. I’m NC with a PITA mother, so no MIL.

I’m a real catch!

I'm funny.

I like cooking and I like sex

I like cooking and I like time to myself so won't be needy.

I'm hot, intelligent and funny also single

I'm a good cook!

I actually can't think of a single thing.

Rent my home
Disabled
Fat
Unsociable
Can't drive
Hate leaving the house
I have a toddler
Don't drink
I smoke
Unattractive

God knows what my partner sees in me.

I guess I'm caring and I try my best to be a good mum.

I'm fucking hilarious and hate people 🤣

I erm, errrrr, well.....

Nope sorry. Pretty much no perks.

I've got massive knockers.

I'm quite happy to give over control of the TV remote. I'd rather read anyway.

If I'm not drinking coffee I'm making it so there is almost always hot water in the kettle (down side is I go through at least one kettle a year).

I don't have particularly expensive taste and don't really like big romantic gestures so I'm a cheap date.

I give really good blowjobs

I have netflix, disney plus and Prime videos and am willing to share my log in details. I like cake and always have cake.

I'm a good cook and have a brilliant arse.

That's about it really.

@MissMarpleDarling

I have netflix, disney plus and Prime videos and am willing to share my log in details. I like cake and always have cake.

Sold!

39yo F with GSOH, masses of sarcasm, and a cracking rack WLTM similar aged M for good times and fun. Have been reliably informed that I am "fucking amazing" in bed. In the interests of honesty, I do have a husband but don't worry about him. I'll send him to Morrisons to get something for tea and he'll be gone ages.

I’m a good cook.

I can recite the entire Lion King film (cartoon version).

I have a good body (rugby player and not the fat kind).

I’m honest/trust worthy.

I can hold a fart in throughout an hours yoga session.

I’m very easily pleased.

I never get lonely and think " ooh I want a relationship" a few hours a month, so I am very low maintenance. A meal out and I am done. Or some chocolate lobbed at me.

You dont have to text me much, and definitely dont have to ring me as I hate speaking on phones.

I have no debt, got my own house and car and basically only contact me if your name is Tom Hanks or you are the guy from the Audi advert (Who is that god?)

Splendid tits.
Passably attractive with a full face of make up.
Filthy sense of humour.
Nice house and good income of my own.
Loyal and reliable. When I say I'll do something I will (though I'll probably be late).
Tidy and organised.
Drive and have own car.

Downsides:
Terrible procastinator.
A bit socially awkward.
Fart and belch a lot and think it's funny.
My kids are quite a handful and would HATE me dating, so it's just as well I'm still married to their dad!
Can cook but don't really enjoy it.

I’m hilarious
BUT
I get very very very jealous
Not thinking they will cheat, if they did they can fuck off, just jealous in general
AND
I will definitely Flirt with other men just because I do

I'm really funny
I have low standards

I'm really laid back and love going to the pub.

I'm a good cook plus my DH is good at DIY - useful if my date has any small jobs around the house that need doing.

I am not a faffer. I can be ready to leave the house in seconds if need be. I also don't do annoying hour long goodbyes if I'm leaving a group of people.

You can get Chinese every night of the week and I'll never make you feel bad about it or say 'yuk I don't fancy a Chinese' or 'maybe we should just share something.'

I don't drink. I bake lovely cakes and I enjoy giving blow jobs