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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've vetoed this baby name, AIBU?

206 replies

FreakyZoey95 · 07/01/2021 15:37

I love my DH, but he's said he wants to call our baby Marrack if we have a boy (apparently Gfather name). I've vetoed it, won't he be bullied!? AIBU?

OP posts:
Codswallopcurry · 08/01/2021 20:28

That name isn't diabolical, by any stretch - but I get it; it's unusual but not especially cool sounding! But he could be called, "Mack" for short, or Mark". My son's name is Richard, but I was nervous he might be called "Dick", which is a total no-no in most people's books. So right from the off we called him Rick which stuck like glue. Similarly, my daughter is Maxine which is shortened to the obvious"Max". We have an Aunty Charlie, too! An elderly great uncle Theodore (Theo) and his wife, Deidre, known to all as Aunty Dee. Anyway, if your husband had maybe set his heart on it, couldn't he have it as a second, or even third, name? Can't hurt, can it? Best of luck, OP.

Swissypup · 08/01/2021 20:31

Perfectly reasonable name could be called "Mack" as a nickname. But if you don't love it don't use it.

Lickedmylollyandneversaidsorry · 08/01/2021 20:47

This happened to me, I feel your pain!!!
My partners and his parents wanted to name our daughter Nelly after his Nan that passed away years ago. Apparently she was lovely and would have worshipped the new baby......but as lovely and sweet as it all sounded, I really really didn't want to call her that. It put me in such an awkward position and made me feel like a horrible human being but I stuck to my guns and I'm so glad I did. I was more than happy to use it as a middle name and we all were happy in the end. Although I did call my daughter a unusual name that partners mum absolutely hated but that's a whole new thread as they say on MN!!!
Good luck xxx

DinosaurDigestive · 08/01/2021 20:51

I really can't see any bullying over the name.

But if you don't like it as a first name you're perfectly right to go with someone else.

If it is a close connection or means a lot to him then I would consider it as a middle name or one of two middle names maybe?

You could pick one and he could have this as a middle name? A lot compromise that way.

But go with a name you both like and can agree on as first name!

Celestine70 · 08/01/2021 23:05

There are so many wierd and wonderful names now. I don't think it's that bad tbh.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 09/01/2021 00:18

Prefer Marrick to Marrack but I like it - what would you choose?

Petlover9 · 09/01/2021 10:23

Not as bad as being called after a place, think Brooklyn. Paris, Jordan or fruit like Peaches, Apple. If you don't like it, don't use it and say that you want a normal everyday name. there are plenty to choose from. Children can be cruel and anything out of the ordinary can lead to name calling. I would not lumber a child with an odd name no matter whose it was originally . Growing up I had an Uncle Dick. Aunt Fanny, Aunt Dotty, Aunt Nelly and Uncle Donald who was forever called Duck. Put your foot down

Aglet · 09/01/2021 11:01

When men start giving birth, they can have equal say.

peak2021 · 09/01/2021 11:02

I'm not sure about being bullied, but your DS will have to correct people or explain the spelling a lot, which YANBU to want to avoid.

I understand wanting to have a name of a grandparent, but it could be a middle name.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 09/01/2021 11:30

Ha. Oh I love the name mona. It’s a family name and I adore it

But after my grandmother begged me not to call her that. (It’s her name!) hence why we love it. We decided with a heavy heart that she would get picked on massively for it.

However I love that name and can’t see why it would be bad.

Personally, I think it's a lovely name (reminds me of Anglesey and great times spent there), but you can't also see the unfortunate homophone suggesting somebody who moans a lot?!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 09/01/2021 11:36

My french friend wanted to call her baby marTANN as she said it. I had to veto her baby's name

I don't get this one at all. Martin is (I believe) the most common surname in France, and presumably also used as a first name. Like James or Thomas in the UK, surely? In English-speaking countries, it's possibly a bit dated, but is a common, traditional name - and it's not like the French pronunciation sounds like something unfortunate in English - it just sounds like a French person called Martin.

GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom · 09/01/2021 11:52

The French pronunciation of Martin sounds much better.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 09/01/2021 11:59

When men start giving birth, they can have equal say.

You're giving somebody a name to last them for potentially up to 100 years - not just a name related to the very beginning of their life and their method of entering the world.

Assuming you're on good terms with the child's father and in a happy marriage/LTR with him, it's always risky 'claiming' the child as primarily yours - and thus chiefly your responsibility - by virtue of the fact that you were the one going through the pregnancy and giving birth.

Choosing a name is (for the father) one of the earliest ways of bonding with the baby and establishing responsibility for him/her. Rights generally go hand-in-hand with responsibilities, so by insisting on the former, you're rather giving early signals that he only needs to 'help with YOUR baby' when he can and not that he has equal parenting responsibility throughout.

Aglet · 09/01/2021 12:24

There won't be any bonding if mum hates dad's choice.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 09/01/2021 16:47

No, I'm not saying at all that both parents shouldn't find a name they both like - and veto any name that either of them doesn't like. Just responding to the suggestion that the mum can use the birth as a justification to expect more than an equal say i.e. "But I'm the one who gave birth to the baby and I've always wanted to give my baby this name; I know you hate the name, but you didn't do any of the hard work, did you....".

Unless it's a lesbian relationship, it's not even as if she was the only one of the two who bothered to carry and birth the baby, when they both had the opportunity....

Wheresmykimchi · 09/01/2021 16:50

I am fed up with these many threads talking about whether a child wouldn't or would be bullied. Victim blaming at its finest.

Fwiw I like the name.

GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom · 09/01/2021 16:54

@Wheresmykimchi

I am fed up with these many threads talking about whether a child wouldn't or would be bullied. Victim blaming at its finest.

Fwiw I like the name.

Well, parent blaming really.
Wheresmykimchi · 09/01/2021 16:56

True - but implying that bullying will happen because of a name is putting the blame in the wrong place.

AndcalloffChristmas · 09/01/2021 16:57

I’ve never heard it before and don’t think it’s a bad name.

But if you don’t like it don’t use it! Both parents have a right to a veto imo.

bemusedmoose · 09/01/2021 19:11

Why would he be bullied? Unless it's because it makes you think of John Merrick? But kids now won't have a clue about him so not a worry.

Kids with fluffy names get picked on at school far more - Trixie-Boo sort of things are cute nicknames at home but trust me - they get ribbed at school!

I wouldnt choose Marrack myself, but don't see a problem other than I'm just not keen. But you have to call your child that name a billion times a day so make sure you like it!

VestaTilley · 09/01/2021 19:36

Is it a made up name? I’ve never heard of it.

YANBU. It sounds daft.

blacksax · 11/01/2021 00:49

@VestaTilley

Is it a made up name? I’ve never heard of it.

YANBU. It sounds daft.

RTFT. No, it isn't a made up name.
tinyme77 · 11/01/2021 07:29

Depends where you live.

Snackz · 11/01/2021 12:27

I quite like it Smile I don't see why he'd be bullied for it?

Ddot · 14/01/2021 15:39

Keep the peace and stick it in the middle, I like it anyway