To be annoyed that this woman ruins my dog walks?

[IAmARectangle]

I've name changed for this as I've moaned to a couple of friends in RL about it.

I live in a village that has a massive park in it, and I take our dog over to the park each day at least once as she loves it there. There is an area specifically for dogs so she can go off the lead, and she enjoys walking through the rest of it on the lead so she can have a sniff. The only other place in our village where she could go off the lead would be some woods, which are a fair walk from our house to get there and are also very muddy and flooded at this time of year. I am currently working from home and the kids are doing online learning, so I like to just nip out for a quick half hour walk.

For the last year or so there has been a woman with a dog who is at the park literally every single time I go there. Lets just say she is a chatterbox! She is always talking to someone at the park and if she gets there with her dog she makes a beeline to find someone to talk to and then talks and talks and talks and talks, about the same things over and over again.

In the last couple of months she makes a beeline for me every time she sees me. She is there literally every time I go to the park; I've tried walking the dog at every single time of daylight hours you could think of to avoid her but she is always, always there! If I think she's not there it isn't long before I see her out of the corner of my eye walking towards me and if I pretend not to see her she follows me and catches up with me, then just walks along talking at me and I just can't get away from her.

The other day I was on a work call whilst in the dog exercising area and this woman came and stood with me and as I walked around the area talking on my phone she just talked at me the whole time! I wasn't interacting with her in any way as I was on the phone but she just kept telling me the same stories that she's told me before, such as the story of where she got her dog from!

I've just literally been to the park now and as I walked into the park she was standing talking to someone so I sort of did a detour around her at the entrance so she wouldn't see me and went around the kids play area to enter the dog area a different way and yet still as we walked across the park to the dog area I could see her out of the corner of my eye following us. So I kept the dog on the lead and walked through the park as quickly as I could then made an escape and had to walk home on the main road as she was trying to catch us up.

It sounds ridiculous but she is ruining my dog walks! I like a half hour quiet walk to relax and for the dog to enjoy her walk. I'm not antisocial and always have chats with other walkers but this woman is something else! I'm normally pretty assertive but I've tried all the assertive things that would normally work and she doesn't get the hint. Even walking off from her saying 'right, better go now' she just follows me, talking at me! I can't get away from her until I actually walk out of the park gates. I've also been at the park with a friend and her dog before and this woman just started walking with us, talking 'at' us the whole time. Again, same old stories!

I don't think she's lonely as she talks about a husband and kids at home, and seems to know a lot of people. Not sure if age is relevant but she's late forties, early fifties at a guess.

AIBU to be pissed off with her?

It really doesn't matter what the reason is for this behaviour, does it? It is what it is. Pointless to speculate.

Really the only way without being potentially unkind and/or causing future awkwardness is to avoid her. It's a shame.

Sorry if already suggested, but any chance you fancy taking up jogging with your dog? Hopefully she'd not be able to keep up...

I have two children, now adults, with autism. One does not talk much and would never speak to or interact with any stranger. The other talks to everyone as if they are his long lost friend. It doesn't matter what the person says or does, or how awkward others could see it made them feel, he would just chat on telling them the same thing. I remember him once, on holiday, chatting away telling his life story to a stranger who did not even speak English. He did not even notice that the stranger could not understand him, or reply, he carried on and on. And yes of course we stopped him. But your woman in the park reminds me so much of my son. One good thing though if ever anyone did tell him to "shut up" (or worse) and he would never be offended or upset.

I don't see why being dishonest, or less than honest, is 'being kind'.

You prefer to walk in silence. It's not rude or unkind to say so.

You can preface your request with 'I don't mean to be unkind/ unsociable' but you just need to say that this is your quiet alone time and you don't want to talk to other people. Wish her a good day. If she perseveres, you need to be stronger: 'as I said before, I would prefer to be alone'. And if she doesn't go away, 'please leave me alone'. Use a light, pleasant tone, but be firm.

i sometimes pretend I cant speak English to people but i suppose shes already noticed you can here, or has she?

We should always be kind, but we're not required to let anyone make us unhappy. Or to give any stranger our time and attention.

And the OP has no responsibility for this woman.

As if a man would just meekly listen to her every day.

Men don't get the same societal conditioning.

I'd say 'Can you see me?'
Wide eyes, mad laugh, run off.....

Put headphones in and pretend to be on
the phone.

@user1471565182

i sometimes pretend I cant speak English to people but i suppose shes already noticed you can here, or has she?

If she lives that near the park, she seems to treat it as her back garden. Just tell her it’s not.

What a nightmare op. That would drive me mad. Tbh she sounds extremely needy. Possibly something wrong with her. I had a neighbour that was no good at reading social.signs
He would pounce often if he saw me in the street. He didn't get any clear hints so in the end I just said straight up that I'm not sociable and prefer not to chat. That pretty much did it. I say hello if I see him but I generally keep walking if he tries to engage which he rarely does now 😊

OP, I feel your pain. theres a woman lives near our local dog park and EVERY morning and EVERY afternoon/evening there she'd be. With her dogs, one unfriendly and the other a bit like its owner, no social skills.
She must be mentally unwell as she absolutely wouldn't take a hint! she'd spot any dogwalker and literally jog after them. to talk shite. Or shout coo-ee. she's so unpleasant she's banned from my work but she'd start asking work-related questions. on my time off from work. Or she'd start asking personal gossipy, judgemental questions.
she is unpleasant enough to have to move every few years as she manages to upset her neighbours.
Literally every dog walker avoided her. We'd be on 'Sue patro'l (not real name) and as soon as she was spotted, about turn, head for the gate and get out. No amount of ignoring, asking politely for space or being told to fuck off worked.
we started walking elsewhere until two months ago, she moved! the park is now lovely and relaxed and friendly again. Sorry I can't offer much help here, just know how you feel. Can you speak to other dog walkers?

Maybe she is a ghost? It would explain why she can’t leave the park grounds.

I recommend you burn sage and call Peter Venkman.

I'm autistic and I go to great lengths not to speak to anyone. The lack of desire/need for social interaction is more prevalent in people with autism, not the opposite, to talk the hind leg off a donkey

And yet in the other thread people are saying one of the diagnosable signs of autism is talking endlessly about a favorite subject regardless of the listerners attention

Tell her about the MLM scheme you're involved with and can she buy some candles/cards whatever. Should see her off!

Can you find about a bit more about her from someone in the village so you know whether you're dealing with rudeness or disability?

I can’t be arsed to read the whole thread. But late 40’s/early 50’s????? Really?
Are you 12?

@LarryUnderwood

Just be direct and say 'I'm sorry, its been very nice to meet you. But I come here for peace and quiet and I don't want to chat right now.'

Yes I was going to say basically this. I would do this.

I sometimes say 'I'd like to be left by myself' when people start talking to me uninvited.

I hope I don't get called arrogant again, I'm just a quiet person who has started being a bit clearer so that I can save my energy for all my responsibilities.

I hate being spoken at but do have a fix that works for me in that I'll talk over them and at them till they get bored and go away.

They did something? Oh, I did that too, here's a story about it, and then I did this, and then I did that and then something else. Repeat the process every time they manage to get a word in edgeways.

People who like to talk usually don't like to listen and will tire of this quickly. It's worth a try.

What do you mean @krazynights34? Why does giving an age make you ask if op is 12?

I’d agree the op sounds young if it bothers them that much find somewhere else to walk the dog. Go at different times or wear headphones
I think there are many reasons for loneliness or vulnerability and the OP doesn’t need to know them but find ways to work around them, it’s not up to society to leave her a clear path devoid of annoying obstacles it’s for her to find ways to adapt and work around them

Maybe just completely ignore her.

I remember paying a lot of money for DH and I to get into a special exhibition at a new museum on a subject I was really interested in. I'd be looking forward to it for ages. When we started walking around an older man started talking to us about how his dad had invented something we were looking at. I knew it to be incorrect because I know quite a lot about the subject and I smiled and said "oh right" and then we walked away. He then persisted to follow us for the rest of the exhibition, proudly and earnestly telling us that he knew every single person who had invented and been involved in everything we looked at. It quickly became apparent that he had problems and I don't think he was intentionally being annoying. I think he believed what he was saying.

He ruined the first half of the exhibition. After being polite a couple of times we started to just totally ignore him, even when he directly asked us questions. Eventually he got bored and went and latched onto someone else.

Sometimes you just need to do this.

I have known many an Extreme Talker... They tend to get very affronted and offended when this behaviour is pointed out, even in the gentlest of ways, and there is no stopping them, short of being very, very rude. Sometimes you have to be "cruel" to them, to be kind to you. Maybe, they'll learn from what you say and treat others with more respect, probably not.

@IAmARectangle
I had something similar when on my runs back in 2019. Anyway, this lady about 50, would always seem to catch me and the odd thing is I never stopped my runs so it baffled me why she would kind of jog along behind me talking. I even had headphones in. I would be polite and wave / say good morning /nod as I did to most dog walkers or runners. But definitely couldn't string a sentence together and was as red as a tomato! Fast forward a good month and she clocked I would get a water from the cafe in the park after my run. And caught me there. I gave in and spoke to her. Lovely lady, like yours would talk about the same thing and painted a happy life; proud of her husband and son. Always asked the same questions. Big life questions! But honestly weeks after this happening a few times a week I asked her point blank, are you okay? Turned out she didn't have any local friends and was lonely and had no female conversation. Any signs it could be something like that?

Oh no this sounds awful. I would have just changed parks immediately.

Something similar happened to me, I used to go to a pool to use the spa. One time a man sat down next to me in the spa and started chatting the way OP describes. Constant, talking at me. He told me a story on repeat about how he got his brain injury. I didn't mind that one time, but then I pretty much saw him every time from then on. I couldn't come at a different time as I went after work, so I just stopped going.

@LastResponder
Just repeatedly cough nearby her
😂😂😂
If all else,tips fail for Op,
Op can can allways as a last,resort respond, in this manner.