to think a marriage certificate should be addressed to both people?

[wealllikespuppies]

some background, me and my husband got married last week (just before the lockdown).

received our wedding certificate in the post the other day. we live together, but only one name was written on the envelope - my husband's.

i've emailed them querying this, stating that it seems sexist and that a marriage by definition is a union between two people, so surely it seems a bit silly only to address it to one person? i know it's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but it also is a big deal in that it's important, and also, the ceremony (the cheapest one available) cost over £150, so i'd expect the small details to be paid attention to.

I've had a reply this morning, with the ultimate fake apology 'I'm sorry you feel that way'. along with a statement that 'there is not enough space on the envelope to include the names of all parties' and that 'we can't assume one person will take the surname of their husband/wife' (which is contradictory with the fact my husband's surname was used on the envelope, so an assumption has clearly been made).

I've replied stating I feel this isn't really an acceptable excuse, and I've encouraged them to consider my feedback in future correspondence with clients.

I know I am being petty over this but would anyone else find it super annoying and demoralising? I'm going to just let it go but it really has peed me off this morning (and on my day off work as well :'( )

Not bring goady but I was brought up by my quite tradition mum in how to address envelopes.
I can accept it if that is now unacceptable.
How do I address envelopes to married couples? Must it be first names only? Seems awkward and passive aggressive to have to ask individual preferences every time.

@Boatonthehorizon just .... use their names? I might be misunderstanding the question, but you must know their names?

e.g.
Susan and Anthony Smith if they share a surname
Susan Brown and Anthony Smith if they don’t
Susan and Anthony if you don’t know the surname

Putting the name of the person that you know first e.g. if it’s your friend Anthony and his OH Susan then put his name first not hers

Seems awkward and passive aggressive to have to ask individual preferences every time.

You don't have to ask "every time", just once. Perfectly reasonable to ask people.

@Boatonthehorizon

Mr E Surname and Mrs R Surname traditionally means not married, e.g. mother and son, whereas Mr and Mrs (His initial) Surname means married.

Surely this is antiquated? I do not have the same name as my husband. I am not Mrs Joe Bloggs: my name is not now, nor eve has been Joe. Whilst I appreciate for some people it's a non issue it is still sexist. Just because something has been done a certain way historically/for 'corect etiquette' that doesn't mean it is now appropriate. For same sex couples there must be a way to address things, so it shouldn't be difficult. Why is it not possible to check at the time of registering and documenting the marriage which form of address each person wishes to be used?

I'm with you OP
I'd be sending the stroppy (eloquent) email.

Those of you giving it and
Are you SAHM as well? Just asking !