School refusing to allow DC to attend!

[LaraCroftFridgeRaider]

How I can take this further?

During the last lockdown, DD’s school were very strict on only allowing DC to attend where BOTH parents were key workers (or a single parent key worker).

DH is a keyworker but I am a SAHM so DD stayed at home. I also have a teenage DS with ASD and a learning disability who I am the registered carer of. His behaviour during the last lockdown was pretty difficult to manage at times and I feel it had a bad impact on DD. I don’t want her to be at home 24/7 with no respite from DS’s outbursts this time which is I want her to go to school. The whole family has already had COVID so I’m not worried about that. DS’s special college has completely shut down again.

I saw today that the guidance has changed to only parent needing to be a keyworker so I contacted the school to inform that DD needed a place but they are insisting that they will only be admitting DC who were eligible to attend during the last lockdown and the one parent change is only guidance!

AIBU to think they have to allow DD to attend?

This is one of those circumstances where the school should use good judgement to enable your dd to attend. I have been in your shoes OP and I completely understand. The situation at home makes your dd a vulnerable child. You need to speak to whoever is SENCO at the school and make that clear. Be nice but be precise about your son's disabilities and challenging behaviour. People do not get it usually. If that doesn't get you anywhere, try speaking to your son's social worker and see if he or she can try talking to the school.

I really feel for you. It can be so hard meeting the needs of an older child while also making sure a younger child is safe and well.

In your position though my I’d be more annoyed that his specialist provision wasn’t available than announced that your daughters school would t accept her. He is the one who seems to fit the category of being vulnerable.

Does he have a social worker?

I agree you should be a priority.

So other parents of children with EHC plans who aren't getting provision, what are you doing about it.

You are NOT being unreasonable. You need your SON to be in school, not your daughter, contact everyone you can to get him into his normal routine ( or as much as possible) I would like to see most people here try to wrestle with a 6ft autistic teenager when they're having a meltdown due to lockdown. It doesn't matter that you are at home, his brain needs the stability of somewhere else and you need help with him. I thought that children with SEN were ought to be offered places? Please contact the council and possibly your local MP ( I imagine this is affecting a lot of parents and children) and see if anywhere else could possibly offer him a placement due to his needs.

What can I do about it when the school is closed????

YANBU - although a lot of people without any direct experience of SEN will think otherwise!

I would park the issue of your son's special school being shut as ultimately there is little you can do about it in the short term - this will be dealt with at a school/LEA level. Special schools are not necessarily open (even if they should be!) and some are accepting keyworker/vulnerable children only.

I would email your daughter's school and explicitly advise them that she is a young carer and therefore falls under the government's definition of a vulnerable child. As such, she should be provided with a place. I would also make sure that the school is aware that she has an older brother who attends a special school, (so cleary has a high degree of need!), who cannot attend at present, has violent outbursts and she is at risk of harm.

I would also ask them (nicely - it's a difficult time to be working in a school at present!) to confirm their appeals/complaints process should they continue to refuse her a place as this will indicate you are serious and not just asking on the off chance.

Good luck!

I'm a single parent keyworker and my child hasn't been allocated a space. I'm having to use holidays and take unpaid leave

I work in a SEN school. I sympathise, it is very hard for you to have to cope at home. I know how demanding it can be.

I'm also aware we have a highly infectious disease out there and the economy going to the dogs due to prolonged, half-baked lockdowns.

Our kids cannot social distance. We have lots and lots in. All the staff who aren't shielding or self isolating are in. A lot of parents refuse to get tests if their child has symptoms and cause a big fuss if we ask. This is because they don't want them back home or have to miss work. To be fair, I understand. It is not a safe environment for us.

The schools shutting is not because school staff are lazy. We are providing online and in-school lessons. We would however, like to get out of this with our families in one piece and a chance to get the schools up and running 'normally' for everyone in the shortest time possible. The government haven't made it easy.

Regardless of personal opinion, we need to strictly follow the advice. My mother died of Covid over Christmas and I saw for myself how utterly horrific it was and how awfully busy the hospital was. The guy in the bed next to her was younger than me. I just want this mess over and done with and it may be bloody hard, and I'm sorry people are struggling, but it needs to happen.

You don't have any contact details for them whatsoever? The staff must be working from home at least, no? Surely the head is still contactable? Governers? LA?

@Perfect28

So other parents of children with EHC plans who aren't getting provision, what are you doing about it.

Nothing Perfect...my severely disabled child, my ASD child and my NT child are all home. We are in the middle of a pandemic. We have a social worker too and ECHP......DH working from home....its all go here! Crazy, stressful....but I want to keep my children and family safe and the people who care and teach them safe too...oh and their families

The daughter isn't classed as a young carer unless she has caring duties. Given that there are two parents at home, she is clearly not in a caring role for her brother.

OP YANBU

Your daughter qualifies as a vulnerable person on two grounds according to the guidance.

1. As a young carer.
2. A she doesnt have a quiet place to study. (unless of course you live in a mansion and she can have her own wing!)

Your son is also vulnerable because he has an EHCP.

Contact your LA and ask them how they are going to ensure your son get the provision in his EHCP that they are legally obligated to provide, explain your situation, explain you have contacted your daughters school to try and remedy your situation.

LaraCroftFridgeRaider we have a similar issue (but much younger DS) and I don't think people who haven't lived with this really understand just how awful it can be and how damaging for your daughter. I think you need to insist that she is vulnerable (she really is!) and take it further.

There is a safeguarding risk for your daughter, just because your son is also a minor and can’t help his behaviour doesn’t mean she is any less vulnerable. I would agree pushing on the door of provision for him and spell out the situation to her school again. This isn’t about the OPs life being easier or even ensuring her daughter’s learning, it’s about keeping dd safe.

@icebearrocks of course I'm not referring to people who want their children to be at home, which you have every right to, I'm asking those who want a place for their child.

Just re read your posts op. Is he a risk to her, in the sense that you have to supervise them closely to make sure she isn’t hurt during a meltdown?

My sons special school is in conversations with the LA but the reality is they have lost too many staff, many refusing under 44 of the employment act, we can fight and argue as much as we like about ECHP provision but the reality is by the time it reached tribunal the lock down would be over or the government would do the same and remove legal rights.

Basically everything that PenguinLost has said. I hope you get a place.

@canwecancel2020 sorry but it's not a safeguarding risk given that the son would be at home in evenings and weekends. If other child was at risk, she would also be at risk then no?

Perfect - you can scream and scream as much as you want about how LAs must do something but if the provisions aren’t open and the staff aren’t available what exactly do you think they should do? The only group of people who can be ordered to do things in this type of circumstance is the army. I don’t see them drafting in troops to open special schools do you?

It's your sons school that need to step up here. Although I understand why you want your DD at school. I hope something is sorted soon.
Fwiw my dc's go to different schools due to my dd's meltdowns, her brother needed his own safe space away from her. She's currently calm at home as I've left her on her laptop all day while he studies.

Your son has an EHCP and so is entitled to attend. Contact the school and if they cannot provide anything approach the LA and ask how they will meet his care plan. Can they provide a home help?

I think this lockdown will be slightly different due to there being online lessons all day giving the day structure. For this reason it may be worth seeing how you're daughter gets on at home and if there are major issues with her brother, asking to speak to head and saying you have tried and it is not safe for her.

Go through his social worker and give them the issue