Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School refusing to allow DC to attend!

214 replies

LaraCroftFridgeRaider · 06/01/2021 21:18

How I can take this further?

During the last lockdown, DD’s school were very strict on only allowing DC to attend where BOTH parents were key workers (or a single parent key worker).

DH is a keyworker but I am a SAHM so DD stayed at home. I also have a teenage DS with ASD and a learning disability who I am the registered carer of. His behaviour during the last lockdown was pretty difficult to manage at times and I feel it had a bad impact on DD. I don’t want her to be at home 24/7 with no respite from DS’s outbursts this time which is I want her to go to school. The whole family has already had COVID so I’m not worried about that. DS’s special college has completely shut down again.

I saw today that the guidance has changed to only parent needing to be a keyworker so I contacted the school to inform that DD needed a place but they are insisting that they will only be admitting DC who were eligible to attend during the last lockdown and the one parent change is only guidance!

AIBU to think they have to allow DD to attend?

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseGirls · 06/01/2021 21:34

brother’s outbursts

MissMarpleDarling · 06/01/2021 21:36

Op are you serious? YABVU......

OwlWearingGlasses · 06/01/2021 21:37

They are trying to keep numbers in school to the absolute minimum to reduce spread of the virus (you can catch it more than once).
The new variant is 50-70% more infectious so the restrictions need to be much more rigorous this time to lower the R rate.

MissMarpleDarling · 06/01/2021 21:38

I think everyone would be able to find a way around the 'vulnerable' bit if they wanted to.

Boulshired · 06/01/2021 21:38

My DD is at risk because of her brother, luckily she is at an age that she can study independently but she is a young carer even though she doesn’t do caring as her whole life is impacted by sharing a house with her brother. Unless the school are completely aware it’s hard for them to understand. If you have a social worker they might be able to assist.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 06/01/2021 21:39

Your anger is being directed towards the wrong school here.

boobybum · 06/01/2021 21:50

Have you contacted the special school, Local Authority or your social worker (if you have one) regarding your son? I presume he has an EHCP in which case the local authority need to provide something. If he can’t go into school or any respite provision then I think your daughter absolutely is entitled to be at school. Your DH is a key worker and I believe that as you are your son’s full time carer that you also fall into that category.

Good luck OP and I’m sorry that most people who haven’t got a learning disabled child will never understand the challenges we face.

hiredandsqueak · 06/01/2021 21:51

Advice here on what to do if your child has an EHCP and you want them in school. OP I think you will have more success pushing for provision for your son than forcing provision for your daughter.

BungleandGeorge · 06/01/2021 21:51

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Your anger is being directed towards the wrong school here.
I agree! There are probably a fair few more in need of a place than your daughter, and places should be limited or there will be no effect from closing schools. However, I’d be asking why no provision for your son. It sounds like he needs it, has an EHCP and the rest of the family need some respite
Singinginshower · 06/01/2021 21:52

Does your DS have a SW? If not, contact that team and explain impact on family.

GhostPenguin · 06/01/2021 21:52

Can't believe your DS's school is shut?! I'd contact the council cos that's not on. He's definitely vulnerable and needs a school place. Unfortunately I don't think your DD is classed as vulnerable in the terms set out by the government

thelake · 06/01/2021 21:57

She should have a place. End of. Not only is your DH a keyworker, she has what would be classed as a disabled sibling which makes her vulnerable.

BungleandGeorge · 06/01/2021 21:57

I think it’s health and social care staff that are keyworkers not family carers

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 06/01/2021 21:59

@Looneytune253

Sorry but the school are right. Everyone has their own reason why they think their child should be in school but school can only accept those that are eligible and need to be there. They have to draw the line. Get on to the council about another place for your son. He is eligible if they can find him a space
I agree with this, Sorry OP I know this must be so hard for you but I think you need to look for different support for your son
Swimmingiscancelled · 06/01/2021 22:00

Do you have a social worker OP? Can you ask for a place for your DD as a vunerable child rather than a key worker place?

thelake · 06/01/2021 22:00

There are children attending at my school in a similar position eg have a sibling with autism. We are following guidance and if one parent is a key worker it doesn't matter about the other, they can have a place.

mineofuselessinformation · 06/01/2021 22:00

Contact the Senco or the Sadeguarding Lead at your dd's school and explain. They may be able to help.

mineofuselessinformation · 06/01/2021 22:00

Safeguarding....

Thewinterofdiscontent · 06/01/2021 22:02

If the College is shut its shut. 16+ have different guidance to Secondary and Primary. Lots of Colleges have 14-16 provision but that’s no use if the site isn’t open.

You can’t just plonk a child with ASD in a new special school for the time being. His behaviour could easily be unsafe if he has a meltdown and he’ll get sent home.

Whatayearalready21 · 06/01/2021 22:05

Op I can sympathise. I’ve learnt recently that Mumsnet isn’t very understanding of children with sen or their parents.

My children have ehcps and even they aren’t entitled to provision. My son has autism and my daughter does not - but has a speech delay, physical disability etc. Ds’s behaviour really affects DD so I can totally understand.

In an ideal world your sons needs would be met through school but I have just read they are shut.

Every school is different. The guidelines need to be clearer. My children have ehcps and learning difficulties but were not prioritised but children with sen but with no official diagnosis and EHCP have been deemed vulnerable and given a space.

It’s a crap system.

Fortherosesjoni70 · 06/01/2021 22:05

There is huge demand in school for places.
You are at home.
There are many families that dont have a person to take their child.
You are most definitely being unreasonable. Sorry.
Schools aren't there for respite care.

x2boys · 06/01/2021 22:06

Lots of special
schools are shut my son is he has an EHCP as does every child in the school

Whatayearalready21 · 06/01/2021 22:07

And to add I absolutely think your Dd could be deemed vulnerable due to having an autistic sibling. A boy in my sons school has a brother with severe autism amongst other issues and is deemed vulnerable so goes to school.

Perfect28 · 06/01/2021 22:07

EHC plans apply until the young person is 25 years old. Colleges are still very much responsible and reliable.

x2boys · 06/01/2021 22:09

Yep @thelake you can say that as much as you want but it's not happening,my husband is a keyworker I have a disabled child in a special school with a full EHCP neither of my boysare in school