Is my husband selfish - working from home?

[Kuro20]

For context my husband has a study before the lockdown and works in there. I've been working from home since April with no end in sight I started off trying to work on the kitchen table which was horrendous but after I bought a cheap desk I set up an office in our only spare room. There wasn't much room due to loads of crap and a double bed. Also the only position I could put the desk causes terrible lighting issues.
My mental health needs a boost and I wanted to change my 'office' to feel more work productive and help the lighting issue. To do this we took apart the bed and all our stuff... mainly my husband's stuff propped up against the wall. Its not great but gives me a bit more space. My husband complained and moaned the whole time making me feel awful. He wouldn't take any of his crap into his office.
He actually decided to move some of his stuff....trophies, photos, prints from his study to my room into our spare room . I said this was not fair as it's his and I don't have the space so we had an argument.
What he fails to see is that he has it easy in his office, he thinks I'm being demanding and difficult to want an office space and not take on his rubbish too.
He says I'm ridiculous and selfish
I said we both pay rent 50/50 so we potentially could share the office 50/50 which he said was impossible as it was his and always been his. My point was to highlight he has a study and hasn't once considered to share or be more understanding.

Am I being difficult? Should I accept it's HIS office/study and should I allow him to palm me off with his rubbish that he doesn't want but I don't have space for?

I don't know if I'm being difficult.
Thanks

Call an estate agent. List the house. Tell him you want a divorce.

The study is not your issue, he is

Can you answer this OP : have you said to him “look, if my “office” is perfectly acceptable and you think someone should easily be able to work perfectly well in there, why can’t we swap?” What does he say?I’m intrigued to know his answer!

All the energy you are expending fighting him on this could be directed into making your new office / spare room really great. Accept that his office is his FGS and put your energy into sorting one for yourself. Buy yourself a better light, and a better chair and get going. Fighting is a waste of time.
Trophies etc have no home in your new office. Ask him if he wants them in his office or outside in a rubbish bag.

*Call an estate agent. List the house. Tell him you want a divorce.

The study is not your issue, he is*

Ridiculous.

Well he won’t get a trophy for being a good husband, that’s for certain.

I bet he's really easy going most of the time, because you dare not disagree with him. OP, counseling won't help you, because he doesn't see that anything is wrong. And for him, everything is just peachy. He just has to tell you you're being a little princess, and you back down.
So have a think. Is this what you want for your life? I don't think he'll change. He's gaslighting you.

He gets really pissy if I don't so it's easier just to go along with it

So he can get his own way by being pissy no matter if you think he's right or wrong?

I don't have a voice and when I do I can't articulate myself

You can't articulate to someone who doesn't want to understand what you're saying. And you can't have a voice if no-one's listening to your point of view.

If you can't reason with him then really what's the point? Many relationships have a best-before date and yours has expired.

What @pickingdaisies said

Definitely claim the spare room completely. Move his crap into his study. I remember my ex being grumpy when I insisted on putting a wardrobe (the same size) as his one in the spare room we had. Ridiculous territorial behaviour. Call him out on it.

Thank you for the support and insights, I've read all of them and taken it all on board.
He's now in HIS study drinking a large glass of wine, well that's nice for him.

I agree with suggesting counselling again and again.
As everyone has pointed out he is selfish and difficult but also it's not just about the study fall out. It goes beyond this and I'm so tired of being spoken to like a child and he's always rolling his eyes like oh she's so silly or can't do things, or I never do anything the 'right' way and he always anticipates I can't do it properly or talks down to me. I know I'm really tough on myself, I don't have much confidence and a total perfectist so his not picking has really chipped away at me.
When I get upset and if I cry about this and my lack of confidence he says he hates it and doesn't know why I am so hard on myself and it must be my childhood even though hes continually nit picking.

I'm known for being head strong and assertive (I'm actually very sensitive on the inside) no one would think the dynamic of our relationship was actually him in control, no one would believe me.
He's also a bit older but I feel like he's used to do it his way or the high way and he NEVER believes he's in the wrong.

Sorry for the ramble

He's said, right now he doesn't know why we're married. And I'm like meh, piss off and actually fantasising about a nice two bed flat with a plush office on my own.

He gets really pissy if I don't so it's easier just to go along with it

He is already controlling /manipulating/ training you to bend to his will.

Very succinctly put. I'd advise you to stand back and take a long, hard view of your relationship, or at least continue with your eyes wide open.

Tell him to move his shite out of your office or you will take it to the tip.

Arsehole.

If it's 50/50 tell him he can have the spare room and you'll have the office

He sounds like a twat tbh

Stop asking and do it yourself.

Evict ALL his shit from your office. Put it in the shed /dining room/ under stairs /where ever.

Get a decent desk chair and storage solution and make it yours.
My company is assuming we start going back (ie 1-2 day a week max) in early sept.
That's a long time.

Do you have an attic? Put the storage things in there.

I suppose of the spare rooms bigger than the study it wouldnt hurt to have some storage in there but you equally need a comfortable and inviting place to work

OP, from your posts, and I have read them all, unlike some of the posters on here who have taken his side, I would suggest you get counselling for you - not with him.

You need help to find your voice. Only you can decide how you move on but a good therapist will help you find what you need.

He sounds insidious and exhausting to be around.

Why does he have a glass of wine if you don't?
Did he offer you one OP?

You don't have children so if you don't enjoy living with him, what's the bloody point? I would be looking on rightmove.

I do think part f the problem is YOU Op - you need to get assertive and stop putting up with it. Him saying “I don’t know why we’re married” is a veiled threat that he will leave you if you go against his wishes. He’s trying to train you not to challenge him.

Show him you’re not going to put up with it any longer. Clear the stuff out and let him sort through it himself. It’s not your problem - you shouldn’t have to work surrounded by his junk - would he like it if you dumped a load of your stuff in his office? No!

You are being a doormat!

Just as a heads up, if you have kids with this man the controlling behaviours you are seeing are going to get much, much worse. they always do after a baby for some reason. he doesn't view you as an equal.

If your room is bigger than the study i'd ask him if he's like to swap and work in amongst his crap valuable possessions. If no, then what's his reasoning? There is none so he can shift them elsewhere. Hire a storage locker somewhere and charge it to him.

I'm just really upset. I can't ever reason with himim just always wrong or irrational.

No sweetie, you're not. He is making you feel wrong and irrational because you don't want to rock the boat and fall.prey to his moodiness.

My relationship was like this, til in the end I learned that anything I wanted or felt had to fall by the wayside to keep the peace. 2 children later and there was only so much of that i could stand. I fucked the ex off.

Ultimately it's up to you what you do. Truthfully, I'd be telling your husband to put that snowboard and trophies where the sun don't shine. He sounds worse the more you post about him. The thundercunt.

Having a study for himself was fine when you didn't need one. Now you both need a work space so you get the spare room he gets the study. None of his stuff should be in your new office!!! Yanbu. He is very selfish. Glad you are sticking to your guns. And dangling the marriage card as if you would be interested right now is very arrogant.