To cringe when people over describe their food?

[BooFuckingHoo2]

Lighthearted

“What did you have for lunch?”

“Oh I had soft scrambled eggs on crusty bakery sourdough, topped off with sun blushed vine tomatoes and a sprinkling of cracked black pepper”

So you had egg and tomato on toast then .

I get the similar cringe when people describe having toast with “lashings of butter” or a cake with “oodles of cream”.

Anyone else?

Makes them sound like a wanker but doesn’t bother me really.

I've never heard anyone do this in real life. What annoys me is when i google a recipe and have to read someone's life story about how their grandma taught them to cook and blah blah blah... just list the ingredients and method please!!

you only get lashings of real butter though

If anyone asks me what I'm cooking though I just tend to list all the important ingredients, I don't know if the combination has a name

There’s a woman on Weight Watchers Connect that drives me INSANE

“Gently coddled eggs on a soft bed of lovingly steamed spinach and a light drizzling of tangy and crunchy Tomato relish”

Honestly she’s driving me insane. She thinks she’s the M&S voice I reckon but it’s always with really bland ingredients.

“Lovingly caressed stove topped cooked porridge oats, gently tossed and drizzled with golden oozing runny honey glistening tenderly in the warm glow of my halogen lightbulbs”.

I just want her to STOPPPPPPPPLL!!!

Don't read Game of Thrones OP. Pages dedicated to describing food, drove me mad.

The fuck are "gently coddled eggs"😂

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Also what are “softly” scrambled eggs? I read that on a thread here earlier and now I can’t stop thinking of the alternative which I’m assuming is violently scrambled eggs 😂

I've read people describing food like that but never heard it iykwim

I have too many anger issues for these cutesy cooking styles😂
Softly scrambled eggs... I wonder if they menat not fully acrambled. I quite like when there are bits of white and yellow not just one mass🤔

@NameChange84

There’s a woman on Weight Watchers Connect that drives me INSANE

“Gently coddled eggs on a soft bed of lovingly steamed spinach and a light drizzling of tangy and crunchy Tomato relish”

Honestly she’s driving me insane. She thinks she’s the M&S voice I reckon but it’s always with really bland ingredients.

“Lovingly caressed stove topped cooked porridge oats, gently tossed and drizzled with golden oozing runny honey glistening tenderly in the warm glow of my halogen lightbulbs”.

I just want her to STOPPPPPPPPLL!!!

🤣

@SchrodingersImmigrant

The fuck are "gently coddled eggs"😂

You need an egg coddler for gently coddling eggs! They are lovely though.

Once, when describing a dessert I’d had in a restaurant, I said the words ‘it was like a deconstructed twix’.

I cringe every time I think of it, what a twat.

Aaah. Thanks @Dogscanteatonions.
Can I coddle them forcefully/aggressively? Or does it have to be gently?

Ah in fairness softly scrambled eggs is a thing. You can overdo them and it's a solid mass, or if they're soft they're just done for the perfect amount of time. Add a quenelle of freshly churned free range butter and a pinch of pink, Himalayan salt for the perfect luncheon

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Aaah. Thanks *@Dogscanteatonions*. Can I coddle them forcefully/aggressively? Or does it have to be gently?

Well mine are Royal Worcester so always coddle gently obviously... If one had some rubbish off amazon or the suchlike I'd probably be much more vigorous 🤣

What annoys me is that people have to add a random 'yum'. People do it on here when someone asks for advice on what to cook with certain ingredients someone will reply 'why not make spaghetti with cauliflower, peanut butter and a sausage. Yum!' Why the need for the yum?

DH and I are disgustingly cringey and sometimes when we chat during his lunch hour we say what we're having for lunch in the most Nigella way possible. Today he had a very steamy bowl of butternut squash soup which was positively oozing decadent sexual innuendos

If anyone else does it it makes me boak- yum!

“A splash of milk” irritates the fuck out of me.

“A huge salad” irritates me even more.

Everyone want's to be Nigella.!

I hate food that has too many adjectives!

I knew somebody who described their lunch as "cooked vegetables roughly blended"....you had chunky vegetable soup Sandra, that's what you had.

I thought no-one in real life did this but BIL recently said off hand "I'm making pan fried hake tonight with coriander butter and crushed potatoes" - it was lucky it was on the phone, I literally had to stuff my hand half in my mouth to stop myself losing it. Who does that, you just say "fish and potatoes" surely!! If anything I think it's only polite to play it down, a birthday cake I spent hours on I'll describe as "a bit of chocolate sponge"

This reminds me of Richard E Granti n Posh Nosh - "gently tickle your spinach".

What I really hate is recopes called things like "Jamie's Totally Amazing Baked Beans". So baked beans with chilli, then? So wanky.

Also, anyone who finishes off with yum or yummy needs to be shot out of a cannon into the nearest sturdy brick wall.

I hate any expression involving the words...

Home made.

Home made soup. home baked bread. Home made curry. No. Nom