To cringe when people over describe their food?

[BooFuckingHoo2]

Lighthearted

“What did you have for lunch?”

“Oh I had soft scrambled eggs on crusty bakery sourdough, topped off with sun blushed vine tomatoes and a sprinkling of cracked black pepper”

So you had egg and tomato on toast then .

I get the similar cringe when people describe having toast with “lashings of butter” or a cake with “oodles of cream”.

Anyone else?

Restaurant speak is bad enough but I have it when people order their food in the exact way it’s written on the menu. “I’ll have the dry aged Aberdeen Angus steak steamed steak please” when there’s only one steak on the menu.

Pan fried is opposed to deep fried.

Softly scrambled eggs are done over a low heat and done soft, rather than hard mass.

Should we just describe every meal so it sounds as basic and shit as possible then ? Like when people go, oh yeah I just launch it in the oven/bung it in the blender etc ?

What a ridiculous thing to get worked up over. There is being pompous with it (as with some descriptions) and there is literally describing what it is.

Do not ask then 😂

I think this was a trend started by the semi orgasmic M&S food adverts?

Eggs coaxed from the vents of hens who live contentedly in enchanted orchards, Grapes caressed by the dewy bloom of the sweet dawn..Field mushrooms picked while the dew shimmers prismatically on their velvety surfaces as smooth as the cool muzzles of Whippets &c&c

So true, OP. All that pretentious language.

My DF says he sometimes just has a “prick meal.”
Apparently this is a micro-wave meal.
He has to prick the film lid first.

And it’s all been “carefully curated”. It may even be “eclectic” and it will likely be “artisan” especially if it’s been baked within the M25 and “traditional” if it’s been cooked outside the M25. If it’s a traditional recipe like a meat pie it might be “ironic” because it’s been presented in a flat cap or something.

I agree @BooFuckingHoo2 there is something teeth-itchingly cringe about florid descriptions of food and airing of the inner food critic, but I can’t decide exactly why it’s toe curling. Perhaps it’s part of a world where people aspire to a lifestyle rather than a life and out of sight one suspects they are lying in bed eating Pot Noodles all day.

Delicately pan friend Wank on Toast, the lot of it.

@Riapia

My DF says he sometimes just has a “prick meal.” Apparently this is a micro-wave meal. He has to prick the film lid first.

I immediately assumed he was referring to a meal in a restaurant full of wanky menus and pricks who like that sort of thing.

I get unreasonably angry about people ordering in restaurants using the exact stupid words from the menu.
"I'll have the Worcestershire hand raised succulent lamb with lightly pan fried Cornish asparagus please"
Just say 'I'll have the lamb please!'

@YouokHun

And it’s all been “carefully curated”. It may even be “eclectic” and it will likely be “artisan” especially if it’s been baked within the M25 and “traditional” if it’s been cooked outside the M25. If it’s a traditional recipe like a meat pie it might be “ironic” because it’s been presented in a flat cap or something.

I agree @BooFuckingHoo2 there is something teeth-itchingly cringe about florid descriptions of food and airing of the inner food critic, but I can’t decide exactly why it’s toe curling. Perhaps it’s part of a world where people aspire to a lifestyle rather than a life and out of sight one suspects they are lying in bed eating Pot Noodles all day.

Delicately pan friend Wank on Toast, the lot of it.

😂😂

Not sure what’s worse, the OTT descriptions or pictures of meals on social media.

Not posh but I don’t think anyone’s ever told me that they’ve had a full English breakfast without then going on to name every element to it.

It's not particularly one of my annoyances but I can see why it irritates others because it is so affected. Unless you are an actual cookery book writer you are being pretentious. But meh carry on if you must.

No-one has lovingly steamed spinach though. Ever. I do like spinach but I have never lovingly done anything to it.

I suppose i have quite strong feelings towards dark chocolate , but it's more that I may make an effort to call on it's birthday than love.

Should we just describe every meal so it sounds as basic and shit as possible then

Yes please

@Escourtie

Coddled Eggs Are Cooked Gently to Semi-Soft The dish is greased with butter to prevent the egg from sticking. The egg is cracked into the dish, which is then partially immersed in a hot water bath (called a bain-marie) for several minutes. The degree of doneness achieved depends on how long the egg is cooked

A poached egg then?

Can I also add people who describe themselves as 'foodies' to the cringe list?

You're right angie pogged is most certainly not a yorkshire thing. Not in East/North at least and im fairly certain not the rest.

Toot in Hull refers to snorting cocaine (or smoking heroin)

Afghan grown, lovingly arse smuggled smoked foil fried toot.

@user1471565182

Afghan grown, lovingly arse smuggled smoked foil fried toot.

I think that would be heroin👀

Oh I missed the part in commas😂 nvm. Yeah.

Not commas. Brackets. What's happened to me😐

My SIL is like this, I try not to ask her what she has eaten when she has been out. Any normal person, for example, would say "oh I had pie and chips" whereas she would say "I had a steak pie with puff pastry, chunky chips, thick gravy in a jug, two spoonfuls of garden peas and half a tomato"

So annoying.

Yeah I hate it too. They make themselves sound like Nigella. Ridiculous.

What I hate is American food shows where things are described for so long the food is getting cold. Even worse in real life when US waiters often stand there and give a long long description and the expectation is everyone gazes with rapt attention. ‘For goodness sakes we ordered the bloody thing - were not cretins!’ (Apologies Crete, which I love) is what i want to say!
(Also often experienced Us habit of clearing away plates when others at the table are still eating !! I have asked them not to before.

I feel better for getting that off my chest !