To think my my MIL get a taxi to her hospital appointments this week?

[Dinnerisburnt]

So, my MIL is 92 and has a hospital appointment on Friday about her eye sight. She doesn’t drive any longer and is reliant on myself and my husband for lifts. She also has a COVID vaccine booked for Saturday. My husband broke his arm just after Xmas so I am doing all the driving for the next 5/6 weeks. Yesterday my MIL got a taxi to a chiropodist appointment as she didn’t want to ask me for a lift. I don’t want to take her to the hospital now as she got in a taxi yesterday and am also reluctant to taker her for her COVID jab. Am I being really unreasonable? I haven’t seen my family since July or had my haircut since then, all I do is walk the dog and look after the kids and drop off MIL’s shopping as she won’t go to the supermarket. It just doesn’t seem fair that I am now expected to drive her to her appointments later this week when she was able to get a taxi yesterday.

So she booked a taxi because your DH told her to cancel the appointment which she wanted to keep and in doing so made her feel then like she couldn’t ask you for a lift? Now you are both annoyed at her. Have you thought how horrible it is to have to keep asking for help with stuff? I am covid averse and I would take her. I can’t see why being in a taxi is any more risky than the shops or medical appointments. I haven’t had my hair cut this year and would still take her.

Should say since 2019 not this year :)

So you go to the supermarkets, if they're of age, your children have been to school, your DH has recently been in a hospital A&E dept and you're worried about picking up Covid from your 92yr old MIL after taking a 2 mile taxi ride. Ok...........

@HisNibs

So you go to the supermarkets, if they're of age, your children have been to school, your DH has recently been in a hospital A&E dept and you're worried about picking up Covid from your 92yr old MIL after taking a 2 mile taxi ride. Ok...........

Yes... this all seems lost on OP and her Husband 🙄

Honestly, I think your attitude stinks OP.

You sound pretty mean tbh. She's much safer only with you than risking a taxi driver who is picking up multiple people a day and likely not cleaning all touch points after every customer

I feel sorry for her, she’s 92 and didn’t want to trouble you so got a taxi. I understand your concern with covid but it does seem a bit ott.

The world / human race has gone crazy. So what if she took a taxi. So what she didn't reschedule an appointment as seemingly demanded.

Frankly I wouldn't even have windows open in the for a 92y old, she'll probably catch Pneumonia.

No one seems to have any compassion, it's all about fucking Rona.

This actually makes me feel a bit teary. I'm far from sentimental, but this 92 year old had every right to make her own decisions about her medical treatment. She was also thoughtful enough to try to spare her family the effort of driving get around three times in one week. Yet she's treated like an idiot and punishment was considered because she did something that was about a thousandth of the risk that any of the rest of the family have been taking.

Old people are treated so badly. Infantilised or moaned about constantly on here. But this is the worst I've seen. Thank goodness MN is close to unanimous in the comments.

OMG I'd drive your MIL, let alone my own! I can't believe anyone would refuse to take a 92 year old a lift to a medical appointment, especially for such a minuscule risk

I took my 80yo mum for her vaccine just before Christmas. I'm taking my 88yo auntie for hers this week. They've both been in my car a fair few times for various hospital appointments.

Both have been on buses to go to the hairdressers because they didn't want to bother me(40mins drive away and long term home ed).

The idea that I could contemplate not taking them to what are pretty essential appointments just because 'they've been on a bus before so can do it again' is beyond me. These are elderly, vulnerable people. Good grief, have some compassion. And god forbid one of them dares to 'treat' themselves to a chiropodist appointment..

I bet there are 100s of people reading this who would happily take her :(

maybe she picks up on your attitude and feels uncomfortable.

Yeah, wouldn't be surprised that that's it. YABU.

This is one of the most repulsive things I’ve ever heard. You should be bloody well ashamed of yourself. Disgusting.

You’re being very unreasonable -unless you’re clinically vulnerable.

Just take her for goodness sakes and do it with kindness and willingness so she doesn’t feel bad. YAB sooooo unreasonable unless you have major underlying health conditions

@Dinnerisburnt

Wow, you lot are nice! Just spoke to my DH about it. He told her yesterday morning to reschedule the chiropodist appointment until next week and not to take a taxi. He is more annoyed with her than I am and actually agrees with me. Yes I will take her to her appointments on Friday and Saturday as I am not that heartless or an ‘ice queen’. She can sit in the back with a mask on, a blanket over her so she doesn’t freeze, I may even turn the heating up for her. 😂

Yes, we are a lot nicer than you.

It harsh but at the same time you may have to spend time waiting around in a cold car park if you drive her.

I took my mum to an eye appointment and sat for 2hrs in the cold waiting for her.

@Kazzyhoward are you honestly joking? She’s 92 for goodness sake and you’re expecting her (at very high risk) to continue taking taxis because her bubble won’t help her. I’m very cautious about COVID but where is your humanity?

OP: AIBU?
PPs: Yes, YABU!
OP: Wow, you lot are nice!

Don't ask if all you want is to have people to back you up.

I have to give lifts to my elderly father and yes, it's a pain sometimes. But it's what you do when you care about someone.

For what it's worth, my husband also gives my dad lifts whenever he can, including 90 + minute round trips to the hospital. Not all men pass the responsibility for care onto the women.

Im stunned that OP is still trying to defend her grudge of driving a 92 year old lady to get food and to medical appointments. 😳

@saraclara

This actually makes me feel a bit teary. I'm far from sentimental, but this 92 year old had every right to make her own decisions about her medical treatment. She was also thoughtful enough to try to spare her family the effort of driving get around three times in one week. Yet she's treated like an idiot and punishment was considered because she did something that was about a thousandth of the risk that any of the rest of the family have been taking.

Old people are treated so badly. Infantilised or moaned about constantly on here. But this is the worst I've seen. Thank goodness MN is close to unanimous in the comments.

Spot on. I'm not remotely sentimental either and I felt exactly the same. I felt terribly for this lady and how she's being treated.

92yr old MIL sounds a lot nicer than the OP and her DH. Rather than trouble OP for three times in a week, she took one for the team and hopped into the taxi-of-death despite being the one at the highest risk.

@tomnjerrylover

It harsh but at the same time you may have to spend time waiting around in a cold car park if you drive her.

I took my mum to an eye appointment and sat for 2hrs in the cold waiting for her.

So?

Yeah, I think you and your DH are coming across pretty dreadfully to be frank, OP. I'd absolutely do this for my MIL, I'd do it for your MIL, too, tbh. I feel very sad for her that you seem to begrudge it so heavily and that your DH seems to feel entitled to order her about and reprimand her like she's a child just for trying to avoid putting you out (and it seems very obvious that you make it clear that she is putting you out). I hope if I make it to that age that my family treat me with more generosity and kindness.