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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my my MIL get a taxi to her hospital appointments this week?

272 replies

Dinnerisburnt · 05/01/2021 18:59

So, my MIL is 92 and has a hospital appointment on Friday about her eye sight. She doesn’t drive any longer and is reliant on myself and my husband for lifts. She also has a COVID vaccine booked for Saturday. My husband broke his arm just after Xmas so I am doing all the driving for the next 5/6 weeks. Yesterday my MIL got a taxi to a chiropodist appointment as she didn’t want to ask me for a lift. I don’t want to take her to the hospital now as she got in a taxi yesterday and am also reluctant to taker her for her COVID jab. Am I being really unreasonable? I haven’t seen my family since July or had my haircut since then, all I do is walk the dog and look after the kids and drop off MIL’s shopping as she won’t go to the supermarket. It just doesn’t seem fair that I am now expected to drive her to her appointments later this week when she was able to get a taxi yesterday.

OP posts:
Spidey66 · 05/01/2021 20:31

Mask wearing is compulsory on public transport, including taxis. I think the risk of her catching covid from the taxi is minimal. Much less than a bus, for instance.

Yes, I think you're being harsh and tbh a bit overdramatic.

Worst · 05/01/2021 20:31

@ShalomToYouJackie

I don't get why you would've happily given her a lift but now she's been in a taxi you don't want to.

Is it because you think there's a risk she caught Covid in the taxi? She would probably be just as likely to have got it in her chiropractor appointment than she would in a taxi.

Or is it because she is able to get a taxi and therefore you don't think you should have to drive her?

^ this

You still haven’t explained why you feel this way OP

TheYearOfSmallThings · 05/01/2021 20:33

The woman is 92. And it's not like she's been out clubbing, licking tequila out of strangers' navels. She took a taxi to the chiropodist.

Drive her to her appointments. You will feel guilty otherwise if....well, you know.

Vitaminsss · 05/01/2021 20:33

Bit of a stretch to assume the taxi driver has definitely given her COVID-19.

Taxis have a plastic divider between the front seats and back seats and the driver wears a mask. The passenger is supposed to wear a mask too (obv medical exemptions may apply to her). The chance of transmission is extremely unlikely, and not worth shunning her over.

mellicauli · 05/01/2021 20:34

Maybe she should delay the eye appointment until after she has the vaccine anyway? Take her for jab FFS. They might have a few extra doses and then you can have one too..

notyetamumbuttrying · 05/01/2021 20:34

@TheYearOfSmallThings

The woman is 92. And it's not like she's been out clubbing, licking tequila out of strangers' navels. She took a taxi to the chiropodist.

Drive her to her appointments. You will feel guilty otherwise if....well, you know.

This made me chuckle 🤭 very true though! Please just take her 🙏🏾
Vitaminsss · 05/01/2021 20:35

It just seems mean to punish her for merely taking a taxi to a hospital appointment. The only reason she did so was to not bother you.

Ickle37 · 05/01/2021 20:36

W the actual. Crack on op. Demanding 90 yr old. Sod her. Make her walk!!
Frankly it i got to the age of 90 and my daughter in law offered a lift in the bavk if the car with windows open in January I would hope for the capacity to get through Covid then really mess with her afterwards- incontinence on a favoured sofa comes to mind.

OfaFrenchmind2 · 05/01/2021 20:37

Cool ending, still a bitch!

Lweji · 05/01/2021 20:39

I don't understand.

Why shouldn't she get a taxi? Why was it better for her to wait till next week?

Sometimes my mum takes a taxi, sometimes I drive her to places.

And how do you feel that is so offensive that now you don't want to drive her?

Disfordarkchocolate · 05/01/2021 20:39

I think for the jab it's just better to have someone there incase she is unwell.

Westfacing · 05/01/2021 20:40

I thought you were going to say she was 57 or similar, not 92!

You have quite an old MIL for someone with young kids.

thatgingergirl · 05/01/2021 20:40

How did your husband get home from hospital with his broken arm OP?

Heronwatcher · 05/01/2021 20:42

I think from your original post you sound like you just don’t like her very much, but you need to get over yourself and help the poor woman. Yes YABU and also unreasonable to react badly to being given honest opinions when you did ask for them.

Whywonttheyhelpme · 05/01/2021 20:42

My grandma used to do this.

Two appointments in a week was ok but a third appointment might “put you out”, so she would get a taxi.

Be kind and humour her. She probably thinks she has done the right thing by not inconveniencing you.

Minster2012 · 05/01/2021 20:44

@TheYearOfSmallThings

The woman is 92. And it's not like she's been out clubbing, licking tequila out of strangers' navels. She took a taxi to the chiropodist.

Drive her to her appointments. You will feel guilty otherwise if....well, you know.

Ooooo I hope she was, and hope she bloody enjoyed it.

YANVVVVVVVVVU
You'd be Struck off my will

Eileithyiaa · 05/01/2021 20:45

She took a taxi because she probably feels bad putting you out! That's what old people are like. At that point we say "don't be so bloody daft, don't book a taxi, of course I will take you".

She's 92, cmon OP. It's made me feel a bit sad this, the thought of such an elderly lady pootling round in cab because she feels like a burden.

Are you in Manchester? I'll drive her about 😆

saraclara · 05/01/2021 20:47

@Dinnerisburnt

Wow, you lot are nice! Just spoke to my DH about it. He told her yesterday morning to reschedule the chiropodist appointment until next week and not to take a taxi. He is more annoyed with her than I am and actually agrees with me. Yes I will take her to her appointments on Friday and Saturday as I am not that heartless or an ‘ice queen’. She can sit in the back with a mask on, a blanket over her so she doesn’t freeze, I may even turn the heating up for her. 😂
Rescheduling her appointment for next week would make no difference. It takes three weeks for the vaccine to do its thing. If she's in pain from a corn or ingrowing toenail, making her postpone the appointment for even a week would be cruel.

She knew she needed to go, she'd already been told off for no reason, no winner she didn't want to ask you.

Anyone would think she'd taken an hour's bus journey. TWO MILES! In the back of a taxi with a mask on (as would the driver who was probably behind a screen as well.

sage46 · 05/01/2021 20:47

Is there a back story to this? Why on earth wouldn't you give a 92 year old family member a lift to her appointment? She lived through a world war!

GabsAlot · 05/01/2021 20:49

if youve been shopping and kids in school then youre beng ridiculous both of you

Kaiken · 05/01/2021 20:49

Where has all the kindness gone...

saraclara · 05/01/2021 20:52

I volunteer with a local community group. We take elderly people to their medical appointments (as well as shopping/picking up prescriptions etc). We're still doing it. People need to get to their appointments, especially the elderly. We take all the same precautions as the taxi driver poster above ( though obviously we use our own cars, so no screens).

I'd hate to think that these elderly people are being berated by their offspring for using our services.

ilovesooty · 05/01/2021 20:53

I'm also wondering if she took that taxi because she was reluctant to ask you to take her. I think it's really unfair of your husband to be annoyed with her.

Bananaman123 · 05/01/2021 20:53

Just help her out, im sure she will appreciate it. She may have had serious anxiety getting that taxi if she wont go to supermarket. Surly she is higher risk picking up covid from various taxis than having you help her out

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 05/01/2021 21:00

Someone's looking for an out.

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