To think my my MIL get a taxi to her hospital appointments this week?

[Dinnerisburnt]

So, my MIL is 92 and has a hospital appointment on Friday about her eye sight. She doesn’t drive any longer and is reliant on myself and my husband for lifts. She also has a COVID vaccine booked for Saturday. My husband broke his arm just after Xmas so I am doing all the driving for the next 5/6 weeks. Yesterday my MIL got a taxi to a chiropodist appointment as she didn’t want to ask me for a lift. I don’t want to take her to the hospital now as she got in a taxi yesterday and am also reluctant to taker her for her COVID jab. Am I being really unreasonable? I haven’t seen my family since July or had my haircut since then, all I do is walk the dog and look after the kids and drop off MIL’s shopping as she won’t go to the supermarket. It just doesn’t seem fair that I am now expected to drive her to her appointments later this week when she was able to get a taxi yesterday.

Wow of course YABU. She’s 92 for Christ’s sake!!!

Were your kids not at school before xmas ?

I think YABU - she's 92 and these are medical appointments. And at 92 during a lockdown it's not a question of 'won't go to the supermarket' but of 'inadvisable for her to go to the supermarket.'

Unless there's something you haven't mentioned about this taking you away from something vital that you're doing, I think you're rather harsh. Certainly about her Covid jab: it is absolutely vital that all people in the most vulnerable categories have it as soon as possible.

The fact that someone can take a taxi occasionally, does not mean that they can afford to do so every time. And a chiropodist's appointment is not usually AS crucial as a hospital one, which she may have graciously recognized. Please don't punish her for being considerate when she can.

Nothing you have said makes sense. I'd understand more if you were tired of always having to drive people around or had other things to do, but you seem focused on her having been in a taxi, which as PPs say is bizarre if you go to the shops, and even more bizarre that you now want her to get another one?

Don’t be so mean .

I’m confused. You don’t want to take her to have her vaccine etc but would have taken her to the chiropodist if she”d asked?
You are t happy about her being in a taxi? Why?
Yet you also want her to get a taxi to her hospital appointments?
Your posts make no sense to me.

It’s unanimous OP
Give her the lifts with good grace.

I have told my elderly neighbours who I’m doing shopping for that when they get offered their vaccine appointments, to accept any time they are offered and I will get them there. We’ll all wear masks in the car.

It's what women do for their relatives and in-laws.

I certainly know plenty of men who do so. Especially about things like lifts and driving.

I would have suggested that her dh share the duties here; but as he's broken his arm, he clearly can't drive.

You know yabu at heart. Perhaps she senses being a burden and tried to help by taking a taxi yesterday.
At 92 she won’t always be rational, she will be afraid and needs support.

She got the taxi because you're making her feel like a burden.

She's 92, look after her and appreciate her.

Are you ECV OP? Or do you have health anxiety? You seem to be displaying an over abundance of caution.

The current restrictions are to protect the extremely vulnerable, like your MIL, not to protect otherwise healthy individuals. Is there something you have missed telling us that is making you concerned for your health rather than the health of someone in the most vulnerable category?

Wow wouldn't want to be related to you!!!

YABU and weird.

If you'd driven her to the chiropodist it would be ok....because covid only infects taxi drivers?!

You think that a taxi is high risk but you think it's ok for MIL to take 3 this week?

Yabu

I obviously don't know you or your MIL but is it possible that she thought that 3 lifts in a week was too much to ask?

Yabu give the poor lady a lift

To clarify: is your problem 'if she could get a taxi once, she can get one again!' or is it 'she was in a taxi, she could have got Covid and give it to me'? If the former, it's fairly mean-spirited of you. If the latter: most taxi firms right now are very Covid conscious, and, so long as she was in the back and both she and the driver were wearing masks, and preferably a window was open, the risk is not high unless it was an ultra-long journey. But if you're worried, surely it's better to give her the odd lift (with the same sort of precautions) so that she doesn't have to take taxis?

Harsh. Just drive her. She is elderly

I an really failing to see what you think is the risk here OP

Please don't ask a 92 year old to take a taxi to her eye appointment, it would be so cruel. What I'd she has drops put in and is a little unsteady after the appointment. She would feel so vulnerable.

out of interest, how old are your kids? with a 92 year old MIL, do you have a much older husband or are the kids that you're busy looking after actually 19+ yrs old?

I think yabu op

I think you are being hugely unreasonable.

At 92 I imagine that your Mil has been to the chiropody clinic many times before, she knows the layout, she knows the staff, she feels secure navigating her way around the premises, knows where the entrances are, the reception desk, the toilets etc. She probably felt confident to deal with the appointment on her own.

Whereas hospitals these days are confusing places for many people. Everyone is masked, communication can be difficult , new one way systems are set up ,it might not be particularly clear where you need to go, or indeed where you are allowed to go . Even if she has attended outpatient clinics there before she will be aware that things might not be the same.

Ditto the COVID vaccination, very few of us have had these, we don’t know the protocols involved, but we do know that it is not likely to be as simple a process as turning up to your go for a blood test or your flu jab.

I am sure the OPs husband would have been only to pleased to accompany his mother if he was able to , but he can’t. Sad that the Op doesn’t feel able to step into his shoes and show some compassion.

She was either being unselfish or was scared to ask you for a lift for such a short trip.
She did absolutely nothing wrong, yet you're treating her as though she went and licked a covid lolly.

Presumably you let your kids go to school with at least 30 others every day, but your MIL sitting in the back of a taxi for two miles is going to give you covid? What's the matter with you?

Aw it sounds like the poor woman doesn't feel like she can ask you for help, because she's worried you'll say no.

I hope none of my family ever feel that way.

I would never ever expect my grandparents to get to the hospital any other way, although my gran did take my grandad for a dental extraction on the bus early in the pandemic, because she knew we weren't allowed to be in a car with them!! I was furious when I found out! I'd have risked it - plus they'd already had covid and so had we by that point, sod the rules, my 80yo grandad still recovering from hospitalisation after covid should not have to get the bus home after having a tooth ripped out!

Then again they thrive off being independent, and I can understand that, and think it's great at the age of 80 that they can. Grandad usually drives but thought he might not fancy it after the extraction.