AIBU.. to report my own parents (coronavirus)

[Tier4ParentProblem]

Sorry, NC as outing..

They are in a tier 4 area.

I live abroad in a country which has struggled hugely with coronavirus and has put a ban on Brits entering there. I’ve avoided the virus so far with extreme diligence as I work a zero hour contract with no sick pay..

They turned up unannounced on my doorstep.

Whilst I’m pleased to see them, I’m furious that after all our care and sacrifice, they’ll have brought not only the virus but the “British variant” and then when it’s reported in the press it will be patently obvious to the neighbours who is responsible. Also, whilst being not an at risk group, we’ve been really careful to minimize our risk precisely so this nightmare can end sooner and we can visit them safely, in the uk. I’m cross with their arrogance. They won’t even isolate in my home either, they miss shopping and eating out...

So... WIBU to report them?

@Unsure33

I am with you OP

I would be fuming . One negative test is not proof they don’t have the virus and they have come from an area where the new strain is rising . And for those saying you should not have let them in . That’s ridiculous they arrived on the doorstep and unfortunately they are her parents . And as far as they are concerned they don’t have it ( ignoring the fact that they could have it or picked it up on the way )

They have been selfish and broken the rules and put you in a ridiculous situation.

But unfortunately I don’t think reporting them will make any difference.

They could still get caught out on the journey back though . Who knows.

This

All those people screaming "But these are your PARENTS! What have we come to?" Or shouting "But YOU let them in!"

Cant you see they put Op in an impossible situation with no warning when she had small children excited to see their grandparents? How could she feasibly say no. And we are in covid times. This is not a situation of the op's making for all those trying to make her feel like a hysterical bad daughter. She could lose income over this and have her neighbours and colleagues angry with her.

And also it doesnt look like they have come primarily to see their daughter or they would be happy to stay in. They have come for a jolly to eat out and shop

They were on my doorstep with a bag full of Xmas presents, I was blindsided and couldn't turn them away.

You could, you just chose not to.

We've had a few reports about troll hunting on this thread (and have zapped a few posts already).

Just wanted to confirm that the OP's a very long-term member of the site, on a name-change here, as she's said.

As we say in our Talk Guidelines, if you ever have any concerns about a thread, please just report them to us so we can check things out backstage.

Many thanks.

Cant you see they put Op in an impossible situation with no warning when she had small children excited to see their grandparents? How could she feasibly say no.

Cheeseandlobster Of course she could feasibly say no. You tell them they shouldn’t have come, you can’t let them in, and then you explain to the children why their grandparents cannot stay.

"I was aware of schengen areas bit thought that was so people from those countries needed no paperwork not that anyone from anywhere could freely travel between"

Do you think there are big brick walls around each European country? Imagine living in England and going for a weekend in Edinburgh. It's like that.

@averylongtimeago

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You don't need proof of residence if you're transiting. You put the address of the destination on the attestation. They did all that.

" Imagine living in England and going for a weekend in Edinburgh. It's like that."

Or a day trip to the Republic of Ireland, which is a separate nation state, but still has no passport control for the UK (though there may be security checks at airports and ports).

Tell them you are evicting them, see how hilarious they find that.

Are they still with you @Tier4ParentProblem? Do you know any local helpful nuns who could remove a vital component of their car engine so they can't come back to the U.K.?

Seriously though, just repost this thread but with them being your in laws not your parents - MN will definitely back you up in reporting them! In fact they may suggest you tie them to a stake in the middle of the village while you wait for their arrest

Did they come through France? Surely they can't claim any of the valid reasons for travel? Ditto the midnight flit, when there is a curfew in place in many areas?

I wouldn’t report them.
Equally I wouldn’t have let them in my house.
I would be appalled if my parents did this and they would know bloody better than to. I would not take kindly to anyone turning up unannounced at my door expecting to stay, Covid or no covid.
Fuck that for a game of soldiers. I’d have told them to get a hotel for the night and make immediate arrangements to return to the UK.

I mean it's irresponsible of them and I'd be furious.

But not sure how you've conflated your parents somewhat recklessly travelling to you uninvited, to them single-handedly bringing the British Covid over and it hitting the media!

These people just do what they like without telling you you need to do the same....
move house and don't tell them, next time when they turn up with a bag of Christmas presents....

Oh yes, we need to know what the Christmas presents were to factor it in to the unreasonableness decision. (If they were in-laws, it would of course be second hand clothes from the charity shop, all in the wrong sizes and smelling of smoke )

@GreenlandTheMovie

So the story is that the OP is British but living abroad, the OP's parents are British but live abroad too but in a different Schengen area country to the OP, and entered the OP's country illegally or not as the case may be, so she is going to report them to the authorities of the country she lives in, having let them stay with her illegally since Christmas?

Have I got that right?

Why on earth did they come then OP? What justification did they give? And more importantly, when are they going back?

I still wouldn't report them. I couldn't report my own parents, annoying though they can be. And it might come back and bite you in terms of consequences.

@Tier4ParentProblem
I clicked YABU. I do think what they have done is irresponsible and selfish. However, I clicked YABU because whilst I don’t agree with what they’ve done, there’s no way I could report my own parents. No way.

Yabvvvu

I am utterly appalled by the total lack of comprehension shown by some of the posters on this thread about how things work in mainland Europe and what a negative Covid test means.

YABU reporting them, they've already been in your house, damage done. You'd be reporting to teach them a lesson, not sure that's the right thing to be doing.

Oh dear.

It sounds like you have a difficult relationship with them (Covid aside).

I think they've been incredibly irresponsible & missing grandchildren is NOT an acceptable excuse.

I'd be as pushed off about them showing up announced as I would about the Covid risk. It's just bloody rude & another example of them treating you like a child.

I would have let them in, because it's not like sending them away when they live 5 miles away. It's just not. Plus the children's upset. They were tested previously and negative. Of course they could have picked it up after that, but chances aren't huge.

I would be putting my foot down though. They stay inside the house for 10 days (unless they're planning to go home before then) no walking/shopping/pubs/bars. They wanted to see the children (apparently) not 'have a holiday' so they can damn we'll do that and not risk anyone else's health or pissing off my neighbours! I'd make it very clear that if they leave the house they'll need to find a hotel because they won't be coming back in the house or seeing any of us.

Idiots.

Do you have an underground bunker you could lock them in for 14 days? Without their passports and key cars obviously, because they sound quite resourceful.

When do they plan on returning?

I would report them.

They have no respect for you.

They think they can walk all over you, your husband, your children. And so far, you've let them.

They feel they can turn up to your home, laugh in your face at your concerns, and bully their way in.

I'd absolutely love you to report them, wait until they'd gone out, pack their stuff, leave it on the street and call them a taxi. And tell them that you're done until they can respect you as an adult.