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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU.. to report my own parents (coronavirus)

263 replies

Tier4ParentProblem · 04/01/2021 11:28

Sorry, NC as outing..

They are in a tier 4 area.

I live abroad in a country which has struggled hugely with coronavirus and has put a ban on Brits entering there. I’ve avoided the virus so far with extreme diligence as I work a zero hour contract with no sick pay..

They turned up unannounced on my doorstep.

Whilst I’m pleased to see them, I’m furious that after all our care and sacrifice, they’ll have brought not only the virus but the “British variant” and then when it’s reported in the press it will be patently obvious to the neighbours who is responsible. Also, whilst being not an at risk group, we’ve been really careful to minimize our risk precisely so this nightmare can end sooner and we can visit them safely, in the uk. I’m cross with their arrogance. They won’t even isolate in my home either, they miss shopping and eating out...

So... WIBU to report them?

OP posts:
blazinglightonthehill · 04/01/2021 14:23

"I'd absolutely love you to report them, wait until they'd gone out, pack their stuff, leave it on the street and call them a taxi. And tell them that you're done until they can respect you as an adult."

Oh yeah cause that's a really adult way of dealing with it. OP you could sit down with them and explain exactly how you feel, what your boundaries are and tell them that in the future you won't allow unexpected visits. Then they isolate in your home as they are already there and this isn't an episode of eastenders

LightDrizzle · 04/01/2021 14:38

I’m furious on your behalf.
Ideally you wouldn’t have let them in, but in your shoes, put on the spot, I bet I’ve have failed as you did.
In my shoes, having a very vulnerable daughter, I would have refused them entry, despite normally being a fanny.
I would be clear that if they go out and about, they will be picking their stuff up from outside your house/flat and won’t be allowed in.
Selfish, domineering twats.

MotherExtraordinaire · 04/01/2021 14:39

[quote Tier4ParentProblem]@Notimeforaname because there has already been a case of the "British variant" found in this country and I've already had to fend off lots of unwelcome "jokey" comments from associates. I'm British and it's unpleasant.

If, god forbid, I ended up with it, it would've reported in the press as a case in x village, and being the only Brit in x village it would not be a nice position to be in.[/quote]
That's to be expected whether you're parents are visiting or not.

What do you think the Chinese community felt worldwide?

Yabu to report them.

I agree it was a selfish act, but no different to what millions are doing sadly.

FreezeFloodlit · 04/01/2021 14:42

I'd report my parents to the authorities if I found out they were murderers or involved in child sex abuse or something of that level of severity. Not for that, although you clearly have quite an unhealthy relationship if they didn't even tell you they were coming, let alone ask permission. That lack of respect would make me very angry too.

Haenow · 04/01/2021 14:42

Reporting your own parents is pretty low..

VapeVamp12 · 04/01/2021 14:45

No way they'd be entering my house. Absolutely not. The rule breakers are really annoying me now!

P.S if you do report on Gov website you have to provide your own details as well.

HavelockVetinari · 04/01/2021 14:51

Honestly, I'd send them home. Tell them they've jeopardised your relationship with your neighbours, and been incredibly cavalier with your family's and their own health, and they will need to leave tomorrow now that they've seen you and the GC. If, as you say, they're planning to head out to restaurants and shops etc. then they can't stay with you - make it totally clear that they can find themselves a hotel and that you can't have them putting your family at risk.

I wouldn't report them, they're your parents, but you wouldn't be unreasonable to do so. They're selfish and awful.

Godimabitch · 04/01/2021 14:54

I'd be fuming if they turned up on my doorstep uninvited even if covid didn't exist!
It's absolutely ridiculous and selfish what they've done. Of course everyone will know it was you that brought it in to your town if they're carrying. And surely if it's quite a small town, everyone will know they're there and not supposed to be.

How long are they planning on staying with you?

Godimabitch · 04/01/2021 14:55

Honestly I wouldn't have let them in. I'd tell them to drive home, no matter how far they'd driven.

Plussizejumpsuit · 04/01/2021 15:04

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Londonmummy66 · 04/01/2021 15:09

Actually I would report them and hope that they get fined. I have 2 DC here who are stressed out about whether/when they may be able to go back to school. Like a lot of young people, they are the ones really suffering to try to stop the spread of COVID to older adults who might be more adversely affected by the virus. Yet so many of the stories I hear of rule breaking is by the older generations we are all locking down to protect.

picklemewalnuts · 04/01/2021 15:10

I do feel for you, OP.

What will you do about work? Will you point out to them that you now can't go in to work, and how are you supposed to meet your bills?

Original poster
Tier4ParentProblem · 04/01/2021 15:16

@Plussizejumpsuit

So they had a negative test? Why would they be bringing it to you? This just doesn't sound real to me.

Also re the British variant. You do understand this is likely all over and it's just called this because we bother to track variations in the virus.

If negative tests were reliable then the British govt would surely allow people to visit when presenting it.

And yeah, the variant is because you're just so good at testing Grinnot actually testing the population for the actual virus though...

OP posts:
WhatKatyDidNxt · 04/01/2021 15:17

Why bother asking a question if you aren’t going to do it?! You didn’t have to let them in and yes you have the right to expect them to follow the rule e.g. isolation. People behave a certain way as they’re allowed to. The new strain is most likely everywhere just it was spotted first in the UK.

whymewhyme · 04/01/2021 15:22

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Cadent · 04/01/2021 15:30

What a complete ideot you are!

Oh, the irony!

Vitaminsss · 04/01/2021 15:31

What good is reporting them to the uk police/government if they’re not in the uk? If you’re going to report them, it had to be to the government/police of the country you now reside I

Vitaminsss · 04/01/2021 15:31

In

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 04/01/2021 15:37

Op actually the uk spotting the variant is to do with being one of the best at this time of tests I think denmark are better
But thats beside the point people are right you should be reporting then in your country of it is also illegal to enter or does your country maybe allow with a negative test
After all if you feel they are at a risk they are a risk now not just when they return to the uk
What they have done is wrong so report them in both countries if you are going to report

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 04/01/2021 15:38

Op also now uk is doing more tests than many other countries you can look up the data
The testing is better than it was and why we are picking up a lot of asymptomatic cases

Gwenhwyfar · 04/01/2021 15:55

"But open borders is whats allowing this to spread, I think if in summer were numbers were low if the whole works had shut borders and got things under control in their countries we may be in a better place , all the travelling can't help."

As I said, Schengen countries did reinstate borders at some points during the pandemic. There were also quarantine rules in the summer, but many people chose to ignore them or get around them via loopholes. Yes, travel is to blame, but countries can ban travel if they want to and police it better, but they've chosen not to.

"I believe flights from sa are not allowed to uk at moment due to the strain there and guess no way to beat that as they can be by air only"

Nowhere is air only really. If they're not banned by Ireland, they can fly there and ferry over to British mainland or drive/walk over to Northern Ireland.

Have people forgotten Stanley Johnson going to Greece via Bulgaria this summer? People find ways of travelling when they want to.

Gwenhwyfar · 04/01/2021 15:58

@donewithitalltodayandxmas

Op also now uk is doing more tests than many other countries you can look up the data The testing is better than it was and why we are picking up a lot of asymptomatic cases
Yet on another thread people were saying you couldn't get a test with a sore throat, which is a known symptom just not one of the few on the govt lists. Are close contacts of people with Covid being tested or just people with official symptoms and key workers? It doesn't sound like the testing system is very good to me.
juliastone · 04/01/2021 16:04

I'm just going to say that the virus Stasi is much worse than the virus itself!

sazzysazz337 · 04/01/2021 16:52

if they’ve had a negative test they won’t suddenly release covid-19 S Plus into your home

please relax

SunKeepsShining · 04/01/2021 16:55

I’d make them isolate in a hotel.
Really cheeky to just turn up.
Also the amount of service stations they’ve used on the way ups their risk of picking it up also. They are CFers