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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU.. to report my own parents (coronavirus)

263 replies

Tier4ParentProblem · 04/01/2021 11:28

Sorry, NC as outing..

They are in a tier 4 area.

I live abroad in a country which has struggled hugely with coronavirus and has put a ban on Brits entering there. I’ve avoided the virus so far with extreme diligence as I work a zero hour contract with no sick pay..

They turned up unannounced on my doorstep.

Whilst I’m pleased to see them, I’m furious that after all our care and sacrifice, they’ll have brought not only the virus but the “British variant” and then when it’s reported in the press it will be patently obvious to the neighbours who is responsible. Also, whilst being not an at risk group, we’ve been really careful to minimize our risk precisely so this nightmare can end sooner and we can visit them safely, in the uk. I’m cross with their arrogance. They won’t even isolate in my home either, they miss shopping and eating out...

So... WIBU to report them?

OP posts:
Original poster
Tier4ParentProblem · 04/01/2021 12:29

@AnneOfTeenFables yes but those extra parts make a big difference, and I think are very relevant to my dilemma.

Im surprised how few people here seem to know how Schengen works.

OP posts:
wherewildthingsare · 04/01/2021 12:30

Please do , Without sounding dramatic it's literally a matter of public safety.

Lovely1a2b3c · 04/01/2021 12:31

Wow, that's shitty of them.

Obviously you can't turn them away at the doorstep and obviously you will get the blame if they are carrying it.

I think all you can do really is hope that they don't have it and/or ask them to stay in a hotel for 10 days and stay with you after that.

titchy · 04/01/2021 12:31

[quote Tier4ParentProblem]@Moondust001 you need a pcr neg test to enter France via the shuttle. It's on their site. Go check.

I work in a school setting (not teacher) and I have seen plenty of students testing negative then positive on their second test a few days later. You have to take two tests a week apart for that reason where I live.[/quote]
Well they'll be lateral flow tests won't they. Not PCR which are actually reliable. And what your parents have taken. And are negative. So they haven't just imported the new strain of covid at all. But you want to report them anyway. Nice.

Notimeforaname · 04/01/2021 12:31

Im surprised how few people here seem to know how Schengen works

So is it ok there to have people from the UK stay in your home at the moment ?

Tier4muffintop · 04/01/2021 12:31

OP I would be furious and I wouldn't let them in my home. I thought tier 4 were banned from leaving the country apart from business travel? They are being VVU for not isolating too. They've put you in an awful position! I don't think I could bring myself to report my own parents, but I definitely wouldn't let myself be dragged into the situation.

WhoLettheCatOut · 04/01/2021 12:31

I'd be outraged too OP, my in-laws live abroad and I could imagine them doing this. I would make us all isolate for 10 days but it would be me bearing the impact of having to take unpaid leave from work and home school kids so I would be furious!

Original poster
Tier4ParentProblem · 04/01/2021 12:32

@Nanny0gg I wish I could be more assertive. But dm is v narcissistic and it doesn't work.

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 04/01/2021 12:32

"You can drive to the country I live in and it has struggled enormously with covid, and all the shops and bars are open. Brits are also banned but that doesn't stop the exchange of ways to get into the country on expat forums."

Same where I am. Constant questions like 'do I need to fill in the passenger locator form if I go by car?' and when people answer 'yes' they say 'how is it checked?' . Or via which country gan I get to x red zone country? People are finding ways around the rules all the time.
There are few real borders within the Schengen area of the EU - I'm not sure what people find hard to believe about that.

titchy · 04/01/2021 12:32

@Tier4ParentProblem

Fair enough *@Notimeforaname* , I meant "if" of course. Im typing quickly in the snow with freezing hands.

Of course I hope they don't have it. I don't want it! But it's frustrating that I've abided (abode? Abidden?) by all rules and they think I'm being a silly little girl. I'd like it if they were told of the importance of the rules by a figure whose opinion they hold in higher regard!

THEY DONT HAVE IT!!!!
donewithitalltodayandxmas · 04/01/2021 12:32

@cadent very bigoted to say little englanders as you don't even know the nationalities of the people posting
op story sounds strange as if visitors are banned. , how did they get in
Bu road is there no checks so anyone can travel all over europe ?
I mean this was peoples worry about being part of eu , all the extra paperwork and how hard it would be gojng from country to country
So I think people found the story unbelievable
If OP wants to report then her parents may get a fine in uk and also it would point out her countries border issues as basically anyone can get in , and their are other strains and even the british one has been found in many places

averythinline · 04/01/2021 12:34

I would ask them to leave or get your dh too...tell them they will have yoga as risking your job..
I would also ensure you get tested..

Not sure if I would fone in sick for 10 days ....as if there's an outbreak you will get the blame....and probably won't get the work again...and your life in the village will be miserable...

I'd be fuming they so fucking clever they can sort out getting home/somewhere to stay..

averythinline · 04/01/2021 12:34

Not yoga!@ interesting typo..

alpinia · 04/01/2021 12:34

OP, friends of mine were in a similar situation over xmas, but they were the grandparents whose child and grandchildren turned up before xmas for a surprise 2 week stay. They left a city in lockdown with 'negative tests', drove halfway across Europe with multiple stops, and arrived to stay in a city in lockdown. Try turning away little grandchildren at Christmas who havent seen the grandparents for months! Unfortunately regulations are not enforced, and people who don't believe there is a risk just don't care.

Original poster
Tier4ParentProblem · 04/01/2021 12:34

@Notimeforaname that's unclear. I think it's ok if the household is under 6.

I thought the rule was in tier 4 no international travel or household mixing.

But you're saying that that's only "good advice". So that's great then. Explains the 50+k cases a day...

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 04/01/2021 12:35

@donewithitalltodayandxmas

If brits are banned how did they get there ? This doesn't ring true
Read the thread. This has been explained so many times. They travelled via another country in the Schengen area. The other country had presumably not banned Brits.
AnneOfTeenFables · 04/01/2021 12:35

Im surprised how few people here seem to know how Schengen works
But it isn't really relevant. I mean you haven't even mentioned what passports your parents hold - which is slightly more relevant to how guidelines would have been applied when they left the UK.
But ultimately the point isn't how they crossed borders like the Von Trapps. The point is that you let them in even though you thought it was wrong and thought they could be carrying Covid. That is entirely on you.

CovidCarol · 04/01/2021 12:36

Also wtf has happened to the world? Why are people snitching on their own parents and children? Maybe research how Hitler gained control of Nazi Germany, especially the Hitler Youth.

Fucking frightening isn't it, you can see how it happens.
What the hell have we become? Sad

GreenlandTheMovie · 04/01/2021 12:37

Sounds rather implausible but supposing you do all go serving-the stasi-by-reporting-your-own-parents, it is you who will be punished since you have committed the offence in your own country. And you have let them stay in your home for quite a while without letting the authorities know as well, which makes it even worse.

I hope you get the book thrown at you, while your parents travel safely home on their return flight to self isolate in the UK.

In reality, I can't actually imagine anyone with their parents living in their home abroad, posting on mumsnet about reporting them to the authorities. It would require a level of duplicity of a degree the average person doesn't have. I mean, you would need training by the secret service or equivalent to be able to hold that lie to your own flesh and blood for so long.

Original poster
Tier4ParentProblem · 04/01/2021 12:37

@donewithitalltodayandxmas they made sure they left before 31/12 partially for that reason.

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 04/01/2021 12:37

But you're saying that that's only "good advice". So that's great then. Explains the 50+k cases a day
I didnt say that anywhere.

And I do understand your concern at first op....but after you let them in and then said you would be reporting them you lost me. Its ridiculous carry on. You are complicit in this. Majorly hypocritical to report.

saraclara · 04/01/2021 12:38

can you imagine if I lived in the UK and my parents came in, no quarantine etc from say, Russia or India!

Exactly. I'm astonished by the hypocrisy of the majority of posters in this thread. I'm starting to see why people make reverse OPs.

I wouldn't report them, but I'd be absolutely furious. And anyone posting as your neighbour would be absolutely supported in here in their anger.

Original poster
Tier4ParentProblem · 04/01/2021 12:38

@GreenlandTheMovie presume you haven't RTFT Tennis

OP posts:
AaahWoof · 04/01/2021 12:39

@lunalucie

"British Covid"?!? Sounds like something Trump would come up with like his Chinese virus 😂
Yeah it's like normal Covid but it's got a blue passport and Union Jack underpants on.
Gwenhwyfar · 04/01/2021 12:39

"Not PCR which are actually reliable. "

This is new information to me. We've always been told that you may not test positive when incubating, which is why people are advised to isolate for a certain time even with a negative test. Can you link to an explanation of the new information?