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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to share the truth about Insta-bragger colleague

399 replies

Shr1881 · 04/01/2021 03:11

I have a very recently rejoined Instagram after a break. Starting to regret it now 🤦🏻‍♀️. I chose the option to add contacts from my Facebook and so this meant that I have followed the Instagram of a colleague, amongst others.

Aforementioned colleague has recently moved into a new house. It’s all she has talked about recently in the office, fair enough it’s an exciting time but even so. She’s told us about the fact that her and her DH have only been able to buy this place because it is shared ownership. They’ve bought a 25% share and then pay a massively inflated rent to a housing association on the rest of it. As time goes on, they are able to eventually buy more shares if they wish. It’s a big new build - there is only her and the DH- and she has openly said that there is no way they will be able to afford it otherwise. A couple of us in the office had tried to convince her to perhaps look at a slightly smaller house that they would have been able to get a mortgage on the normal way but she had her heart set on the big new build. She referred to it as “Insta-worthy”, which made me and other colleagues eye roll! I even told her about a couple of people I’ve known in years gone by who have had lots of issues with shared ownership properties... I have a friend who lives in one and has to ask for permission from the housing association every time she does any work to it, I also know somebody else who ran into a load of financial difficulties when they wanted to sell their share. But she was adamant this is what she wanted.

I was having a browse of her Instagram earlier this evening. Many of you here may know that there is a big ‘New Home’ community on Instagram and she seems to have thrown herself into that. The issue I have is the blatant lying! She has been inundated With comments on how beautiful the house is, and have had people saying things like “you are so lucky, how on earth have you afforded this, I could ever dream of a house like this” etc etc and she has replied telling people all about how hard she and her DH have worked over the years and it took them a long long time to save up, and telling people about how DH has recently had a career change to a high-paying job which allowed them to buy the house - absolute lies - her DH is in and out of work as he can’t hold a job down!! Does warehouse work now and again.. She has quite openly told us all of this. (There is a group of us who have worked together for a long time so we all know each other well on a personal level). They got the 25% mortgage based on her salary alone.

Then she’s been doing all the humble-bragging of hashtag hardworkpaysoff, I haven’t got enough stuff to fill these huuuuge fitted wardrobes.. it’s really quite cringey!

She has even told us girls in the office that If anybody asks where she lives then she lies and tells them something else because it would give away the fact that they are in a shared ownership property if anyone knew the location!?

I feel so spiteful but the bragging and fibbing is just terrible on her Instagram, I have to work with this woman four days a week and she never stops talking about house stuff, should I just drop a cheeky comment on her Instagram, filling people in on the truth, or should I just stop looking at her page? 😂 honestly wind me up so much when people fabricate a completely different life online to what they actually live.

OP posts:
lidoshuffle · 04/01/2021 08:56

"a massively inflated rent to a housing association". Actually, it's calculated on HA rents, not market, so it's cheaper not inflated.

You do sound jealous.

nanbread · 04/01/2021 08:56

The problem is with Instagram culture.

She wants to fit in and it's contributed to her feeling inadequate, hence overstretching herself on the house.

I think a lot of people feel that way, hence the massive trend for redecorating your house every three years etc

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 04/01/2021 08:56

Have to laugh when the immediate response to someone disagreeing with someone’s lying/bullshitting is “you must be jealous.” Jealous of what? Of a woman who’s up to her eyeballs in debt and is lying about it somewhere else?

it's not about disagreeing, it's wanting to feel superior and, I quote, "share the truth on instagram" Hmm

The OP DOES sound jealous, of the big house, of the gushing, of the likes or whatever followers the colleague is getting. Who the hell cares if your neighbours or colleagues have shared ownership, 50% mortgage or god knows what and just talk about being the owner of the house? And why would you follow someone that irritates you so much?

Every single z-celeb from reality show brag about their "new home" when they are rented by a company...

If the colleague was lying about buying a house upfront whilst trying to recruit poor sods on her MLM scam, that would piss me off and I would say something. If her colleague is deluded and convinced herself that it's her hard work that gave her the funds - even a home ownership scheme is not a gift I am sure..., why would someone care and make a point to follow just to bitch about it?

I only get jealousy, but if you have another suggestion?

theatlanticocean · 04/01/2021 08:57

My first home was a 30% shared ownership house, we did work hard to be able to afford the deposit (as well as all the moving fees) and I was proud of it. The rent was also very fair, the mortgage+rent combined made it the same as renting fully off the HA, so very affordable. It was also a lovely house and we had no problems selling it on. Just unfollow and move on if you’re that bothered.

NotABridezillaToBe · 04/01/2021 08:57

I don’t agree that people shouldn’t be held accountable on social media. There is a huge issue with people creating deliberately false impressions of success that has an adverse effect on others. I think it’s crazy the amount of people defending this kind of behaviour. I wouldn’t say anything though, I would just block her and think less of her in real life.

finkking · 04/01/2021 08:57

Commenting on her Instagram is the digital equivalent of pasting signs to the lampposts outside her house.

I disagree however you must have missed my first post where I said unfollow & ignore.

I just don't understand why it's a bad thing to dislike liars & bullshitters & say so. I give them a wide birth & so do most I know.

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 04/01/2021 08:58

So OP could well go into the office and congratulate colleague on the fact her DH now has a new, well paid job, because the friend has made that publiC, and how is the OP supposed to know it’s all lies?

why does it matter either way?

finkking · 04/01/2021 09:00

Why does it not matter?

finkking · 04/01/2021 09:01

Surely it would be awkward?

clpsmum · 04/01/2021 09:04

Why do you even care? Unfollow her and forget about it

DasPepe · 04/01/2021 09:04

The problem with this, is that like many other things, here is an absolute proof that #hardworkpaysoff. Here is a house and a woman who says they have saved for years to be able to afford this.

Like many other areas, people will then latch on this and believe it, and think themselves unable to manage, they will go after unattainable goals, given the proof, rather than look at alternatives that may be better.
This happens everywhere, not just Instagram and if we allow it, then no one will ever know the truth.

Reviews used to be a good way to check if an item was of good quality, but the sellers have started to post fake reviews - I tried to buy a special item for a relative (lighted magnifying glass for craftwork). Could t work out what was good and what not, because half the reviews seemed fake. So, even though we all think we know that Instagram isn’t “real” if we allow this, we will end up not being able to tell anything

SmileyClare · 04/01/2021 09:06

@shinynewapple2021

I have never heard of housing associations building large properties and offering with 25% ownership

I thought the whole point of housing associations and shared ownership was that they offered social housing and a chance to get on the property ladder for people who wouldn't otherwise be able to get a mortgage; so housing is mainly flats and small semi's or townhouses .

Yes it seems a little far fetched that her house is massive. The rent for shared ownership is also subsidised usually through a housing association, it's not greatly inflated. It's securing your tenure as a tenant and is also a savvy way to get on the property ladder.

She is being honest with you in real life. I mean she's been quite candid about her situation and admits that she's lied on instagram. She's told you she lies about the area she lives in so her followers don't know her situation.
There's no need therefore to "call her out" in real life. She's owning the lies.

I'd stop looking at the cringe worthy insta and gently rib her about her fantasy on line life if she mentions it.

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 04/01/2021 09:07

The problem with this, is that like many other things, here is an absolute proof that #hardworkpaysoff.

I know nothing about home ownership, but I am pretty sure no one gave her the house as a gift - someone must be paying somehow? Surely it's a grey area.

Look at the abusive threads on here about home owner, or worst landlords - makes no difference to people if they have a 95% morthagae

finkking · 04/01/2021 09:10

I don't have a problem with shared ownership & know some it worked out for, same as H2B.

*also a savvy way to get on the property ladder.

I think a savvy person can make it work but it's often not the most savvy way of getting on the ladder.

prowlingbrooms · 04/01/2021 09:10

Unfollow

AliceinBunniland · 04/01/2021 09:10

I don't think you are being spiteful OP

How annoying

I know people who misrepresent their lives online too and I don't blame you for being annoying with this woman especially when you have to listen to her at work too

AlternativePerspective · 04/01/2021 09:11

why does it matter either way? It matters when she’s going into the office pleading poverty and asking people to lend her money.

Because there is no way of actually knowing whether she’s lying on instagram or in the office.

prowlingbrooms · 04/01/2021 09:11

Unfollow on insta and breathe deeply and ignore IRL

Tellmetruth4 · 04/01/2021 09:11

Are you jealous that she has a mortgaged house? Are you in rented accommodation? I don’t understand why you are so invested?

Pringlemonster · 04/01/2021 09:12

Ahh
Leave her be
Lies always trip the teller up eventually

MJBmummy · 04/01/2021 09:13

Why are you letting it get to you so much? Focus on your own life and not other people's lives. This is the whole problem with Instagram, people being fake and showing off their 'perfect lives' and other people paying way too much attention and caring too much

nancyclancy123 · 04/01/2021 09:13

Just unfollow. She’s happy and not really causing harm to anyone else. If bragging about her house is what she wants to do then leave her be!

Anyoldname12 · 04/01/2021 09:14

You need a hobby christ. Just remove your colleagues from your social media and move on with your life. Stop getting over invested in people you work with.

nevernotstruggling · 04/01/2021 09:19

The thing is IMO is that with her long term colleagues she's been totally honest and transparent. That's all I need from a friend.

So she wants to play Insta house with strangers. And what.

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 04/01/2021 09:19

@AlternativePerspective

why does it matter either way? It matters when she’s going into the office pleading poverty and asking people to lend her money.

Because there is no way of actually knowing whether she’s lying on instagram or in the office.

who cares? Just say you are broke and don't lend her anything.