"... but does it count that I feel alone everyday? Does it count that I plan everything and make it happen in our family? That he can sleep through important family holidays and normal weekends to let me organize the kids and I, myself, or lose him to his hobby on a daily basis."
Of course it counts. It would seem that your husband does not regard himself as being married, but as some sort of employer. He does as he pleases, indulging in his time-sucking hobby, whilst the domestic staff / skivvy (you) run the household and raise his children with no input from himself. That's not a marriage.
Where is the companionship?
I commented on your last thread that he is NOT a good man. All his 'virtues' are negative (he doesn't gamble, he doesn't womanise etc.) but there are ZERO positives. And even his negatives are not always negative, are they? "he doesn’t use violence against me" is proven not to be true by "and when he did try to hit me once and broke his hand hitting the wall, it was because I pushed him to do it “apparently”."
And then there's "a month ago when I brought up separating he threatened to end his life or give up his job and live on the street." And now he "says he never saw it coming but I don’t know how?"^ Of course he saw it coming. He threatened suicide in an attempt to stop it coming. Not. A. Good. Man.
I'm glad you're going ahead with the divorce. You're already a single parent, but post-divorce you will have no additional practical work and will be free from the weight of this dead marriage and what it is doing to your head. @arethereanyleftatall put it very well - "I'm divorced, and yes I physically am doing all the things I did before, but without the utterly draining, resentful, bitterness feeling that someone else should be helping. The difference is vast."
Arrange an appointment with a lawyer and get the ball rolling.
((hug))