Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Right. Poll. Would you be offended if you DH/P said this to you....

144 replies

Covidy · 01/01/2021 21:58

Imagine you go downstairs for the night dressed in a short nightie. Not Ann Summers lace and crotchless type thing but something like this.

And your DH/P looks at you up and down and says....'don't you think you should get dressed, you're going to get cold'...The first time you say, no i'm fine thanks i'm not cold. 30 mins later he says 'I really think you should get changed, it's quite chilly'.

So are you offended that he's effectively asking you to cover up? Or is he being lovely and caring?

Right. Poll. Would you be offended if you DH/P said this to you....
OP posts:
GinAndTonicOnIt · 01/01/2021 21:59

To be fair it's bloody freezing...

sockywock · 01/01/2021 22:00

I think I might be offended actually, but maybe I'm over sensitive?

PinkGinny · 01/01/2021 22:00

Ffs try harder. Nipple tassels and crotch-less panties surely.

Happytentoes · 01/01/2021 22:00

Well he is a bit thick isn’t he? I would be a bit offended, but if I felt good in it, I would ignore him at the time, and later when he’d figured it out.

Bunchup · 01/01/2021 22:01

Go and put on some jimjams woman! It's the middle of winter.

ChestnutStuffing · 01/01/2021 22:01

If it were my dh, I would think it was weird and wonder what he was on about.

It's difficult to even speculate I think without knowing the person or hearing the tone.

LizzieSiddal · 01/01/2021 22:01

I wouldn’t be offended as I’d assume he was worried about me being cold.

Are you upset because you wanted him to want sex?

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 01/01/2021 22:02

My arse would be half hanging out of that. I’d catch my death if my bosom wasn’t keeping my knees warm. Any comment to cover up would possibly be for health/dignity reasons.

However if you have a harris that looks like two tennis balls and are fairly covered, then I would say he isn’t in the humour.

Original poster
Covidy · 01/01/2021 22:02

t'wasnt bloody freezing because i'd just spent the last hour building a lovely big fire at his request because he 'doesn't know how to do it' Hmm

OP posts:
waydownwego · 01/01/2021 22:02

@Covidy

Imagine you go downstairs for the night dressed in a short nightie. Not Ann Summers lace and crotchless type thing but something like this.

And your DH/P looks at you up and down and says....'don't you think you should get dressed, you're going to get cold'...The first time you say, no i'm fine thanks i'm not cold. 30 mins later he says 'I really think you should get changed, it's quite chilly'.

So are you offended that he's effectively asking you to cover up? Or is he being lovely and caring?

It's a sign he doesn't see you as a sexual object. If you were trying to seduce him and his reaction was to worry if you were cold, I'd see that as a problem.
MuckyPlucky · 01/01/2021 22:03

I’d be a bit miffed he wasn’t picking up on the obvious cues that I was trying to seduce him. I’d think he was either being a clueless nob or wasn’t in the mood, but if I liked myself in it and was warm enough there’s no way I’d cover up on his behalf. I’m not 6yrs old and don’t need anything prompting from a parent to wrap up warm.

Sounds like there’s a subtext of seduction/rejection going on here & you should grasp the nettle and tackle it head on with him.

SheldonesqueIsUnwell · 01/01/2021 22:03

I hope you have a fireguard.

Moltenpink · 01/01/2021 22:04

Well.... if my DH came down in just his boxers, I’d be a bit surprised & would say similar

Titterofwit · 01/01/2021 22:04

Unless its within the first 6 months of a live in relationship (and in high summer) its just not the sort of nightie to be swanning around the house in.
Just because its designed more for the boudoir than a cosy night in with the telly and crisps.

Original poster
Covidy · 01/01/2021 22:04

Ding ding. Yes I was hoping for sex. And I don't like having to explicitly ask for sex which just sounds like begging and is completely unsexy and horrid

OP posts:
SilverOtter · 01/01/2021 22:04

Well it made me feel cold just looking at that tiny nightie😂, but then I am a pyjamas and fluffy socks kinda gal🤷🏻‍♀️

Wellthisismorethanabitgrim · 01/01/2021 22:04

Wouldn't bother me tbh, I'd assume he thought I was being a bit daft wandering round in a tiny nightie when its taters out (and probably trying to ward off my grumbling half an hour later that I'm freezing and a request to fetch me a blanket please).

ShirleyPhallus · 01/01/2021 22:05

I’d think you wanted to have sex with him and he wasn’t in to it

He wasn’t catching what you were throwing. Not sniffing what you were scratching.

Original poster
Covidy · 01/01/2021 22:05

lol at fireguard

It was the only heat I got all night Hmm

OP posts:
vanillandhoney · 01/01/2021 22:05

Maybe he was wondering why you randomly appeared in it?

I mean, I assume you were trying to initiate something but he clearly missed the memo or isn't in the mood Grin

mollypuss1 · 01/01/2021 22:06

Surely it depends on your relationship with your DH? Is it something you would usually wear to just hang about the house? Or were you hoping to get his blood pressure rising and he’s dented your ego?

If I came down in that he’d think I was having a mid life crisis as I’ve never worn anything like it in many many years.

Vitaminsss · 01/01/2021 22:07

I don’t think it looks cold, presumably you had the heating on (well, fire)

I think I’d be hurt as he’s essentially turned down your advances

MuckyPlucky · 01/01/2021 22:07

Just read your update & saw you built a big fire because he couldn’t do it.

So you created the scene, put on a lovely slinky negligee, and his response was to cluck around saying you should pop some thermals on?

I’d be really fuming and disappointed.

Kinneddar · 01/01/2021 22:08

And I don't like having to explicitly ask for sex which just sounds like begging and is completely unsexy and horrid

Surely if youre in an adult relationship you don't 'ask' for sex. You initiate it. And that can be very sexy and unhorrid

Original poster
Covidy · 01/01/2021 22:08

Well I went upstairs to get clothes off and comfies on. TBH I would usually only have a dressing down on. I'm not one for PJ's/slippers. It wouldn't have been a huge shock for him.

Maybe I should have started playing that dah dah dah da dah dah dah stripping song as I came down. Although the last post would have been more appropriate as it turns out

OP posts: