Right. Poll. Would you be offended if you DH/P said this to you....

[Covidy]

Imagine you go downstairs for the night dressed in a short nightie. Not Ann Summers lace and crotchless type thing but something like this.

And your DH/P looks at you up and down and says....'don't you think you should get dressed, you're going to get cold'...The first time you say, no i'm fine thanks i'm not cold. 30 mins later he says 'I really think you should get changed, it's quite chilly'.

So are you offended that he's effectively asking you to cover up? Or is he being lovely and caring?

With my husband, I’d be concerned. My husband wouldn’t ask me to cover up because I run way warmer than him and he’s be more concerned about getting it off.

I think he's telling you he's not in the mood for sex. Whether this is a problem or not depends on why he felt that way, and whether there are problems in your sex life in general.

And I don't like having to explicitly ask for sex which just sounds like begging and is completely unsexy and horrid perhaps he doesn’t like to have to explicitly say no to sex?

He's tit for not getting the hint or he doesn't fancy it. Ask him. Tell him what you want. Very odd. Most dh''s would be (for want of a better phrase) like a rat up a drainpipe

Did you do anything to try

To initiate, or was that it?

If you want sex you need to tell him. To be fair my ex partner would have told me to put something warm on. I don’t feel sexy in those type of gowns they seem sleezy to me.

Sorry this made me laugh, because it reminded me of a time when I thought I’d try something similar and came down to my husband in some sexy outfit who said “why have you got your swimming costume on - it’s a bit late to go swimming” ... definitely killed the mood

If you come downstairs in that, you’re expecting him to warm you up, surely? I’d be pissed off with the reaction you got, OP....

I wasn't sure how I felt about this initially. The first concerned comment I could probably dismiss, but the second is a bit . He can't seriously be worried you're going to freeze to death for want of a dressing gown- you're not a child who needs reminding to wrap up warm. DH reckons it's a weird response.

I don't know if I'd expect him to intuit that you expected sex though; DM used to wear stuff like that just for everyday bedwear and could often be seen wandering around the house in them, when I was a kid.

How did you enter the room? Like did you come in all sexy and slinky, or just stand there? Then when he asks if you’re cold, you’d say something like “maybe you could warm me up?” etc.

I can imagine it being v awkward if you just stood there and expected him to actually initiate. Women can initiate too!

Knowing how funny my DH thinks he is, I'd assume he was trying to make a joke before ravishing me.

However if it was someone else's husband I'd wonder why they were sat in DH's armchair and then tell them I shan't bother again and instruct them to get themselves aquainted with their right hand.

Tbh I'd say he wasn't in the mood for sex and struggled to find a way to say no without hurting your feelings.
Men aren't always up for sex just because they're men. If they're in the mood, it doesn't matter if you're in a whisper of a nightie or a jumper and granny pants. Don't take it personally.

In the summer in a warm night, this is actually the style of nightie I would have.

However, come cooler weather, I’d have a fluffy robe and slippers on as I’d be freezing and I’m sure my DH would tell me to put a robe on and something on my feet.

You should have given him the look and asked him to warm you up. Missed a chance there.

Imagine Mr.Bloke randomly wondering downstairs in his boxers “hoping for sex” and then getting offended when Mrs.Bloke tells him to put on a jumper .... presumably as opposed to immediately dropping everything and getting naked.

If my oh ever appeared wearing that I'd be more concerned about the fact i must have died than if she was cold or not 🤣

Men aren't always up for sex just because they're men.
Round of applause. Most women haven’t got a clue about male sexuality.

He's allowed to not want sex

All I can say is, if I came downstairs wearing that the very last thing my DH would say is “cover yourself up”. He’d be pulling me up the stairs faster than a rat up a drainpipe!

i think you should have replied "no thanks darling, i think i'm already pretty HOT. Don't you?"

@Cam77

Imagine Mr.Bloke randomly wondering downstairs in his boxers “hoping for sex” and then getting offended when Mrs.Bloke tells him to put on a jumper .... presumably as opposed to immediately dropping everything and getting naked.

well given that OP doesn't seem to have mentioned anything to her DH, stripped naked and demanded his penis penetrate her over the hot coals, grabbed his penis and call it to attention etc., and hasn't that i've seen made any disparaging remarks about him, i'd say it would be fine in reverse. Of course a man can sit on the sofa in his boxers wishing his body was enough to entice his partner but doing nothing more about it than asking if his hurt feelindgsare ok

I can't say it would bother me to be honest, but then that style just isn't me anyway.

I prefer my long flappy nightshirts and equally flappy shorts. Exceedingly unsexy, I suppose.

Did you suggest that he should be the one to warm you up?

If I was to wear that, i wouldnt have even managed to sit down before my fiance jumped on me lol.

My ex however would have been exactly like your dp.

He's allowed to not want sex
This ffs