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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really hate the loud, selfish celebrations & fireworks people have outside on NYE?

300 replies

LdnMum94 · 01/01/2021 00:12

I'm laid in bed exhausted and pissed off.

My autistic three year old has been woken three times in the run up to midnight, by endless fireworks exploding outside our house, so loud and close that they terrified him out of a deep sleep. By the third time he was woken he was so distressed he was smashing his head on the floor Sad

In between the hundreds of bangs coming from all angles there are drunk people screaming "happy new year!" and "woohoooooo!" that can be heard in here as clear as day, as though they think it's welcome, or simply don't care.

Not everybody is seeing in the new year by getting drunk, and not all of those who are having a drink feel the need to take their fanfare into the street, giving not one shit about elderly/vulnerable neighbours or people who have to be up for work.

Do you think I'm being unreasonable?

OP posts:
SendHelp30 · 01/01/2021 01:04

@WorraLiberty it is yes. Which is why im sat on his floor and will be until probably around 5am. Again.
But again, thank you for your advice.

LEELULUMPKIN · 01/01/2021 01:04

YABU my autistic DS hasn't even been to sleep once yet!

HibernatingTill2030 · 01/01/2021 01:05

And I'd love to know where people line where it's one a year. Eid. Diwali. Bonfire night. New Year. That's the BIG FOUR. Then because people can buy them at these times, there's days either side esp when the BIG FOUR aren't on a weekend

I guess I don't live in a very diverse area? No fireworks for Eid or Diwali here as far as I noticed.

catpoooffender · 01/01/2021 01:05

@WorraLiberty your NY resolution should be to judge less and empathise more.

BarcelonaFreddie · 01/01/2021 01:05

People can't go anywhere or do anything. What exactly do you expect? It's just a few fireworks.
We went out to watch them. Enjoyed them.
I'm sorry that your child is struggling but it really isn't an unreasonable thing to do on NYE.

catpoooffender · 01/01/2021 01:06

@BarcelonaFreddie

People can't go anywhere or do anything. What exactly do you expect? It's just a few fireworks. We went out to watch them. Enjoyed them. I'm sorry that your child is struggling but it really isn't an unreasonable thing to do on NYE.
I think it depends where you are. As some pp have said, in some areas it sounds like we are living in the middle of a war zone.
lulad · 01/01/2021 01:07

You wouldn't be saying that if you lived where I live. It is like a war zone out there. Midnight was horrendous.

Well yes I would because refer to my first sentence.

saraclara · 01/01/2021 01:07

@Shinyletsbebadguys

Look I empathise with the worry when you see your child distressed . Ds1 is ASD and has and still is shaking under his covers with blankets wrapped around his head and ear defenders on . He is 8 and 5 years ago would have been melting down and hurting himself. It's frustrating.

Hell I even have ds2 hiding as well tonight it's been so loud and frankly my ddog will need therapy.

But it's been a hell of a year and honestly at midnight even I thought "Thank god we made it" because I thought of all the people who didnt. People have been terrified this year and rightly or wrongly they are letting off steam in relief . It's not great for the families of those who didn't, nor for those affected by the noise etc but people have reason to mark this year. It's understandable and yes it probably will be tommorrow as well.

This is one of those many blody things where people have the right to do even if it does cause you havoc (I really do empathise , I can hear the anxiety in your post and I'm facing hours before ds1 sleeps) it's not the other peoples fault,it just is. Let them celebrate.

That is a great post.

I know only too well how difficult life can be for parents of very autistic kids, OP. And yes, I understand that this is hard for you.

But there's no point in blaming people for celebrating. It's NYE. It's what people do, and it's once a year. The world can't revolve around your boy, sadly.

Calmandmeasured1 · 01/01/2021 01:07

YANBU to be pissed off.
Equally others are NBU to be setting off fireworks and calling out 'Happy New Year' to each other to celebrate the arrival of a new year.

What do you normally do to help your child manage on NYE and bonfire night? Do they like to look at the fireworks?

CausingChaos2 · 01/01/2021 01:09

Yabu. It has been a shit year, people want to celebrate the end of it. I’m glad people are being merry in this testing time.

thatdarncat · 01/01/2021 01:10

I was pissed off too. DD2 who has a birthday on NYE and is especially hyper on that day anyway, was kept awake (as was her older sister) with fireworks from 10pm. Exhausting.

midsomermurderess · 01/01/2021 01:10

Very muted where I am. Drone displays available online apparently instead of the usual display. I'm quite glad, it feels suitably sombre.

JamieLeesCurtains · 01/01/2021 01:11

[quote lulad]@JamieLeesCurtains I was being sarcastic but whoosh! [/quote]
Yeah and I was being deadpan.

cyclingmad · 01/01/2021 01:12

Bore off, seriously.

I'm partying in my house yes my music up loud might be disturbing neighbours bit but you know what I've spent many nights and weekends partying with my headphones in so not to disturb people and on one night feck it I do not want to be dancing about with headphones in

If u don't want any disturbances go live in the middle of nowhere

PrincessNutNuts · 01/01/2021 01:12

It sounded old the bloody blitz round here.

And people are clearly having parties.

Fucking covid-spreading wankers.

HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 01/01/2021 01:13

You’re now being belligerent send as a parent you put measures in place to help your children in any setting, whether that be a child with additional needs or not.

My oldest hates loud noises, he does not have additional needs, we’ve put calming music on in his room and made him a den, my nephew has his teddy and his headphones on, we knew this was going to happen so we put measures in place to calm them and stop them causing themselves and us harm.

Please stop being obtuse, you’re coming across as incredibly naive.

AuntyPasta · 01/01/2021 01:13

More fireworks going off here now.

SleepingStandingUp · 01/01/2021 01:14

@BarcelonaFreddie

People can't go anywhere or do anything. What exactly do you expect? It's just a few fireworks. We went out to watch them. Enjoyed them. I'm sorry that your child is struggling but it really isn't an unreasonable thing to do on NYE.
I stood outside and appreciated the neighbours hundreds of pounds going up in smoke too but depending on where you live it it's JUST a FEW. they started at 11 here and the sound reverberates around the estate. I don't even think the ones we watched were on our estate. It really does sound like the Blitz in movies, we were watching 3 displays at the back of the house and 2 through reflections in the windows. Cos knows what at the front. Normally the Temple so a great display but not this year and obv no pubs either. So as long as op isn't change.org'ing or banging on her neighbours for to demand silence, she's entitled to moan about several hours of echoing bangs half a dozen times a year
MadameBlobby · 01/01/2021 01:15

My son is autistic with sensory issues as well so I am not unsympathetic at all but you can’t stop people living their lives.

BrandyandDeath · 01/01/2021 01:15

My oldest hates loud noises, he does not have additional needs

Then, with respect, you don't have the first idea what it is like.

Original poster
LdnMum94 · 01/01/2021 01:15

DS loves the sight of fireworks just not the noise that comes with them.

Last year we put the London display on YouTube on new years day and he did enjoy watching the colours and patterns, just without the sound.

DS aside - I totally get why people want fireworks but I don't think they should be allowed outside of an organised display personally, whilst the noise is problematic they're also really bloody dangerous.

There will always be idiots who weaponised them and do things like putting them through somebody's letterbox (I'm talking from experience)

OP posts:
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 01/01/2021 01:17

@cyclingmad

Bore off, seriously.

I'm partying in my house yes my music up loud might be disturbing neighbours bit but you know what I've spent many nights and weekends partying with my headphones in so not to disturb people and on one night feck it I do not want to be dancing about with headphones in

If u don't want any disturbances go live in the middle of nowhere

Please to fucking God tell me this is sarcasm.
Grilledaubergines · 01/01/2021 01:17

Absolute silence here (south London) gladly. People seem to be being sensible. Sorry OP, not surprised you’re fed up.

Original poster
LdnMum94 · 01/01/2021 01:17

@cyclingmad

Bore off, seriously.

I'm partying in my house yes my music up loud might be disturbing neighbours bit but you know what I've spent many nights and weekends partying with my headphones in so not to disturb people and on one night feck it I do not want to be dancing about with headphones in

If u don't want any disturbances go live in the middle of nowhere

On your bike.
OP posts:
StormcloakNord · 01/01/2021 01:18

I've never liked fireworks. For various reasons over the years but I have always absolutely hated them.

The drunk screeching I can just about tolerate but the fireworks need to fuck off. How the fuck are the general public still allowed to buy explosives? It's absolute lunacy