To really hate the loud, selfish celebrations & fireworks people have outside on NYE?

[LdnMum94]

I'm laid in bed exhausted and pissed off.

My autistic three year old has been woken three times in the run up to midnight, by endless fireworks exploding outside our house, so loud and close that they terrified him out of a deep sleep. By the third time he was woken he was so distressed he was smashing his head on the floor

In between the hundreds of bangs coming from all angles there are drunk people screaming "happy new year!" and "woohoooooo!" that can be heard in here as clear as day, as though they think it's welcome, or simply don't care.

Not everybody is seeing in the new year by getting drunk, and not all of those who are having a drink feel the need to take their fanfare into the street, giving not one shit about elderly/vulnerable neighbours or people who have to be up for work.

Do you think I'm being unreasonable?

I hope everyone who voted Yabu is out litter picking their local firework metal and cardboard debris this morning. Or not fun enough for them ?

I agree fireworks weren't a thing till the millennium. Before that, if you weren't having your own party the big celebration was to go to Trafalgar Square to join the big gathering there: I did it once, but never again as I found the crowds really quite scary.

I know we went out and did this at a younger age, I our parents at some point also did this, I know for 100% that sleeping child in about 15 years will celebrate with friends.
We go on holidays and distrub the locals.
Now the shoe is on the other foot suddenly it is wrong!
Well for the few days each year this happens I think we all need to accept that we know it is going to happen and plan for it.

Sorry but YABU. You know what happens on NYE.

In future I suggest you see the GP about something you can give your son to aid sleep on nights where this is likely to happen (NYE, perhaps bonfire night) and also put a white noise box in his room, as that can help to cancel out any sound.

Unfortunately you're being unreasonable for expect the whole world not to celebrate the new year (which has been celebrated since 'years' started being counted) just because you have an autistic son.

That's not me being heartless, rather saying that you need to find a way to deal with it rather than expecting it to stop.

It's like the issue with pets. There are plenty of things you can do to help them stay calm if you plan in advance, then everyone's happy.

It's only once a year but it is annoying if it's not your thing. Some of the fireworks are very loud. One of our neighbours was out with bagpipes which was nice if he had stopped at one or two songs but he went on for half an hour

Then form activist groups with greenies and parents/carers of people with ASD, get tv/current affairs feature slots, go on tv, campaign at elections, doorknock etc. As I said, there is more to activist work than just petitions. You need to approach tv networks etc. Sadly all I here is excuses on here. Has anyone really tried? I mean, apart from creating an online petition on a website? It doesn't look like it. Activism goes far beyond petitions which is the easiest first step, it means doing the hard sell, going on tv etc etc etc etc, holding awareness meetings at town halls etc.

I think fireworks on NYE are fine and I don't think that it's ok to call people "selfish cunts" (as I think I saw a PP do) for setting them off. Hours of them, shouting, smashing bottles - of course that's going too far. My cat hides and shakes for hours with fireworks and he has also gotten a urinary blockage from the stress before, which was a lot of money and also can be fatal. So I totally appreciate how shit it is, I guess I just feel that I don't assume that people are doing it in the spirit of "fuck the vulnerable."

It sounds like the sound insulation inside your house is quite poor. Is there a decent double glazed window on your DS room?

There were lots of loud fireworks here too, very close by, but you could barely hear them inside our house - certainly nowhere near loud enough to wake a sleeping child. It's an 80s type estate house.

My view is organised firework displays only, on a limited number of days. Kindness to people with neurological conditions and animals, and with warning you can prepare and not be surprised.

I hope everyone who voted Yabu is out litter picking their local firework metal and cardboard debris this morning. Or not fun enough for them?

Going for a walk with my 4yo dd shortly and now plan to take a bag with me, so thanks for the idea!

Sorry I hit sent to early.

Anyway, activism is hard work. But if you are truly serious about it, I am sure mothers of Autism/carers etc would be willing to join and go on tv. How about approaching doctor/s in the NHS and finding one who will speak out about the casualties they see due to fireworks? Have a town hall meeting with speakers; a Dr speaker re the casualties (and costs to NHS), parent spokespeople of ASD representatives talking about the affect on their children, Environmentalists/Greenies speakers about the risks to animals, wildlife etc. Create a groundswell movement. That's how things are banned or changed where I am.

I agree that it’s vanishingly unlikely that anyone goes out with the intent to upset anyone with their celebrations - but they do.

If someone is telling you they’re hurting from your actions (no matter the intent) then the minimally decent thing to do isn’t to get on the defensive and tell them their reaction is wrong and they need to hide it from you because it puts a downer on your celebrations.

Maybe just be aware of those around you and keep it in mind next time the opportunity arises. There’s a compromise with keeping things at a reasonable level and length of time.

Minimising peoples difficulties managing the consequences of fireworks or disruptive noise in their own homes is a pretty shitty way to react.

We had some so big and loud that car alarms where being set off. ‘Twas truly lovely to watch out the window the sky lighting up. People enjoying the end to a shitty 2020. I’ll go help pick up debris I don’t mind I have litter pickers and will happily lend them out too.

The only people being unreasonable where those expecting silence on new year. It happens every year loud celebrations you should prepare.

@Whythesadface you know 100% that my disabled son will “celebrate with friends” on NYE and let off fireworks and scream and sing outside for hours?
Tonight’s lottery numbers please

The only people being unreasonable where those expecting silence on new year. It happens every year loud celebrations you should prepare

You really think there’s any preparing for fireworks so loud and forceful they set off car alarms? What kind of preparation do you suggest? Sedating children and the vulnerable like many animal owners will have had to do last night? Is it reasonable that people should have to medicate themselves for others to celebrate?

I’m glad you enjoyed the show, but again, some people would have been massively disturbed and upset by them. Telling them it’s their own fault and they’ve somehow played a part in their own distress is unkind and lacking empathy.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

It sounds like the sound insulation inside your house is quite poor. Is there a decent double glazed window on your DS room?

There were lots of loud fireworks here too, very close by, but you could barely hear them inside our house - certainly nowhere near loud enough to wake a sleeping child. It's an 80s type estate house.

The insulation in my house is very good, but it still sounded like Beirut at midnight last night.

I get that it's annoying. I was in bed early last night and the next door neighbours had fireworks going off at around 10 pm onwards and they sounded very loud as they were so close

But it is New Year's Eve and we cannot expect people not to celebrate. If your son finds this sort of thing distressing then perhaps there are things you can do next time to try to minimise the impact. Not sure what, perhaps ensure windows are closed, maybe explain to him in advance, have him in a room where the noise will be less... certain times of year fireworks are expected and NYE is one of them.

I've now got an advert showing for fireworks available to buy online. Yay.

I clicked on it for research purposes and the fireworks include 'barrage' types, 'missiles' and 'full force'.

Putting these into the hands of untrained amateurs in residential gardens is lunacy, especially those who are 'celebrating' ie having a drink.

In the end we had firework noise (the extremely loud bangs) from 5.30pm to 3.30am in our urban residential area. This is completely against the regulations for New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. These people were actually breaking the law.

@AliceinBunniland

I get that it's annoying. I was in bed early last night and the next door neighbours had fireworks going off at around 10 pm onwards and they sounded very loud as they were so close

But it is New Year's Eve and we cannot expect people not to celebrate. If your son finds this sort of thing distressing then perhaps there are things you can do next time to try to minimise the impact. Not sure what, perhaps ensure windows are closed, maybe explain to him in advance, have him in a room where the noise will be less... certain times of year fireworks are expected and NYE is one of them.

This is really patronising, not least because the OP has explained her situation and the measures she took repeatedly. And also explained why others are not possible or appropriate.

I'm more than happy for people to use fireworks at midnight on NYE. Last night i had a lovely meal with my partner (home made pepperpot stew ..yum) and retired to watch a film with a bottle of red. On approach to midnight the initial salvos started and i went to the window and turned off the lights. It went on for ever and was almost as good as a commercial display in my area. I think lots of people must have bought those display crates that you just light and run away from . I'm a moaning git but it was very lovely and uplifting and i went to bed happy.

I don't think it is patronising. I found the fireworks annoying so I don't think OP is unreasonable to be annoyed but she probably is unreasonable to have taken no other steps and to post on MN about it as it wouldn't be reasonable to expect others to behave differently.

I am allowed my opinion and if OP didn't want to hear others' opinions she shouldn't have posted in AIBU. There are many responses similar to mine.

I think yab abit u. It’s once a year and people are entitled to let loose, particularly after this year. That being said, I remember the days when my pfb (who hardly slept) was woken by fireworks and I was pretty furious at the time!! I also hated Halloween with all the ringing of doorbells at bedtime. Pesky bigger kids having fun.

While I completely understand your feelings, with the benefit of hindsight I can see that I was bvu and I do think you are a little bit u too. Doesn’t make it any less shit for you though and I’m sorry.

Have you tried a Social Story??

I’m with you OP. It didn’t wake my toddler son up but actually I felt like this before I had kids. I find the whole thing entirely unnecessary. Fireworks should be banned in residential areas. It would be ok if it was bonfire night and NYE only but sadly by the time it gets to 5 Nov they’ve already been going off for about two months.
Last night it was sporadic between 6 and 1am, I mean set them off early for the kids or at midnight but why are they going off at 10pm as well?
Just another indicator of selfish fucks everywhere and the British obsession with alcohol.

People are so selfish.

I think there's something quite sadistic about setting loud fireworks and bangs off in residential areas knowing it terrifies small animals and wildlife.

They're the kind of people who get a thrill out of setting dogs out to tear a fox apart. Sociopaths.