AIBU to say looking after children is too much?

[Greenfingeredsue]

I can’t give any more, I’m exhausted. I’ve just told my step-daughter I can’t look after her kids again next week. My husband said we’ll have them, even though he’s at work all day and can’t help.

Glad you're okay OP 🌺

Well done standing up to them! Hope you have a lovely time at your Mom's even if you are working.

Your husband WANTS you to look after HIS DGC.
He WANTS you to come back home.

You NEED to rest as you’re knackered
You also NEED to work to keep your job.

And why his WANTS trump your NEEDS?

Don’t back down OP.

You have to have a hell of a brass neck to make such demands like your “D” H and SD made.
Her kids are her responsibility,not yours.
You’ve already helped as much as you could.
Inch and a mile springs to mind. A reasonable person would take “no” for an answer in a dignified manner and looked for the alternative solution.
Just no.
Couple of CF pisstakers 😡

@Greenfingeredsue

My husband was the one who insisted on a pre-nup, so I believe he will find it difficult to overturn. I will be taking advice on that this week.

I don't have a problem with him wanting to protect his assets. I think it very wise and I approve of iron-clad prenups (legally binding where I live) if they are fair to both parties.. But it sounds as if he doesn't feel you have the same level of protection over yours. If he did, he wouldn't threaten you with taking 'half the house'.

I think you are very wise to seek legal counsel. Did you have legal counsel of your own before you signed it? Where I live a prenup is only valid if both parties have independent legal counsel.

@AcrossthePond55

It's OP's assets that needed the Pre-nup... not her DH

[quote BlueThistles]@AcrossthePond55

It's OP's assets that needed the Pre-nup... not her DH [/quote]
OP said upthread "And that if he tries to overturn our pre-nup for half the house, I will try for half of his assets. He will be the loser " and "My husband was the one who insisted on a pre-nup".

I'm sure that the DH suggested the prenup to protect himself, not OP.

You sound awesome, OP. Well done.

He hasn’t threatened to go for half the house, or have we talked about splitting up. He doesn’t want that, he wants me back home.

Also people on the thread have made the assumption that my partner is cocklodger. He is not. He has more assets than me, and is hard working - he has always paid his way.

Does he realise he was wrong in what he did, and is he now backing you up? @Greenfingeredsue

He can therefore pay for a nanny /babysitter then can't he?

Yep and that is what I told him.

OP seems very reluctant to tell us her DH’s reaction. Many people have asked but no response.

He’s going to have to either pay her lost wages for two weeks, or pay for childcare so that she can work.

Stakemhigh: I said that my husband doesn’t see what he has done wrong.

He says family comes first. This doesn’t seem to apply to HIM to give some of the help when HIS daughter needs it.

Ah, ok, sorry I missed that. He just doesn't get it does he.

Does he actually get the issue, or is it all your fault as you work from home normally?
I mean, you have sent your own DC to school so you can work, why does that not compute?

Stick to your guns, OP.
Clearly, they both need a good, hard kick up the arse.

Family comes first, but that doesn't include you.

You can be used, exhausted and working two jobs, child minding and playing catchbup with your job.

It means he does nothing, just volunteers the skivvy wife, whose job or health he doesn't care about.

OP, he sounds like a selfish prick and hopefully being at your mothers you might just start to see the truth.

Mind yourself. Your health matters.

Been reading this thread and have to say well done op.
Your dh was wrong to volunteer you as unpaid childcare for HIS dgc, although I imagine his intentions were good.

Sorry to say, but your sd sounds just awful and a cf.

Stick to your guns, enjoy your break until your dh realises and accepts what he's done

@Figgygal

I get it’s not your problem but This whole dynamic sounds deeply dysfunctional just moving to your mums? Bit of an overreaction no? you sound inflexible, immature and pretty selfish tbh

Selfish for looking after her own health and wellbeing, when no one else clearly does?

The sd and dh is the only self ones I see here

Does he actually get the issue, or is it all your fault as you work from home normally?
I mean, you have sent your own DC to school so you can work, why does that not compute?

At no point have I said I have school age children. My daughter is an adult and living independently.

I think Weenurse has muddled up your thread with another - there's another step-mum on here whose DH who decided she could WFH while looking after his children... even though her own kids are going to school.

@LannieDuck is that in AIBU now? Think I’ve missed that one.

@pelosi

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4122007-To-hate-my-DH

The stepkids part starts on pg 4 (post at 19.31)

Thanks Lannie!