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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To decide my husband and his sister are nuts?

178 replies

Rosebel · 31/12/2020 00:10

SIL phones today (before BJ announcement) and says how nice it would be to go away as a family once Covid is under control.
My husband agrees with her and then they proceed to discuss going away in April next year. My SIL says she'll look for some deals online.
When my husband tells me this I said they're mad. I'd love to think everything will be normal by April but isn't it unrealistic? I told him he'd better make sure if she books something we're guaranteed a refund if we can't go. He got moody saying I'm being miserable for not wanting to go on holiday and that with the new vaccine of course things will be normal.
I text my SIL (as my husband obviously wasn't going to) saying lovely idea but make sure we can get a refund just incase. She hasn't replied two hours later so she's probably on a mood too.
Surely it's really unreasonable to plan anything for 2021 yet?
YABU it's fine to plan a holiday
YANBU don't plan anything yet

OP posts:
iguanadonna · 31/12/2020 09:16

Of course it needs to be refundable.

Iwonder08 · 31/12/2020 09:17

It depends.. Will they be allowed to travel in April.. Probably yes. Will it be 100% back to normal - absolutely not.
People should be able to make their own decisions on what level of risk/discomfort they can deal with

NameChange84 · 31/12/2020 09:29

I’m shielding, being exceptionally careful - began working from home last February, only seen parents, shopping delivered etc.

I don’t think, for people who are generally healthy and low risk, that a holiday in April is totally off the cards. Yes, it MUST be refundable. Certain destinations are probably a bad idea and there is likely to be added factors like testing, isolation period on return if going abroad. However...people ARE still going on holiday...right now. I know people who have been to the Caribbean in December. A whole family who are currently in Cyprus and have been there since the beginning of the month. A friend went to Spain in November. Another went to Greece in September. And loads more went away over the Summer. U.K. holiday destinations, beaches etc were packed. And that was before the vaccine had started being rolled out.

Everyone doesn’t need to be vaccinated for holidays to be able to happen.

Providing people test and isolate properly and look for refundable options I don’t see any reason why your DH and SIL can’t plan a holiday in the late Spring.

Keepgoing88 · 31/12/2020 09:31

I’m not sure I would book something for April altho .... there are 3.2 Million over 80’s in the UK (or England not sure ?!). They make up about 60% of deaths from Covid I believe. I fully believe that these 3.2 million who will accept a vaccination will be done in the next 2 months. Once that has been done there will still be deaths and hospitalisation but in theory once over 80s are covered the deaths will drop significantly.

FairyontopofthetreeBatman · 31/12/2020 09:40

There’s nothing wrong with booking. We have three holidays booked this year, 2 of which were moved from last year and one that we booked in Feb.

I’m hoping that we get to do at least one of them but who knows!

I agree with you that it would be madness to book something non-refundable though.

Lookslikerainted · 31/12/2020 09:45

Op I think it will be ok by then but the doomsday mumsnetters who don’t want life to be back to normal (as they will have nothing to moan about) will tell you life will never be back to normal.

shallbe · 31/12/2020 09:46

I don't think you're unreasonable and I wouldn't be booking anything for spring, but some people here are assuming we need everyone vaccinated before things like holidays return, people were allowed on holiday this summer, we don't need to wait for the last soul to be vaccinated before things start opening up again! The tourism industry would crash and no country or government wants that to happen.

We have a holiday booked to Greece in August (booked before Feb this year!) and I'm hopeful we will go, but I'm not rebooking our American holiday yet in case they require the vaccine. I'm assuming that'll be 2022.

DrManhattan · 31/12/2020 09:47

@lovelemoncurd
??? Go on then- explain it to me?

thedancingbear · 31/12/2020 09:53

@DrManhattan I had a go at explaining to you in my post of 8:54 this morning. Beyond this, more detailed answers can be found using your preferred internet search engine.

DrManhattan · 31/12/2020 10:21

@thedancingbear

My question was directed at @lovelemoncurd

MargosKaftan · 31/12/2020 10:22

Op - if you can afford it and can book something thats refundable, what is wrong with your DH and SIL booking a holiday? Are you one of the people who doesn't want to take any risks and is upset at the idea it will be able to go ahead but covid won't be 100% gone by then?

Covid will be with us in one form or another for at least another year, possibly more. There will be a point though when the elderly and vunerable have been vaccinated (or sadly already died), and so the daily death and hospitalisation numbers will be very low. At that point, even if the numbers with it are high, life will start getting back to normal, because once people aren't dying or taking up hospital beds with covid, the justification for restrictions goes.

If you are someone who is scared about covid, but isn't in the high risk category to get an early vaccine, then you will need to face this will be coming soon.

lovelemoncurd · 31/12/2020 10:26

@DrManhattan don't be an oaf! As @thedancingbear says it was explained to you plus I've got better stuff to do than explain repeat it! There's a thing called Google- it's amazing! You should try it!

Friendswithwhenifits · 31/12/2020 10:29

Everyone wants everything to be OK but we now know that the vaccine isn’t the miracle cure and will take time to administer to millions. The timeframe is constantly (unfortunately) being pushed back. It’s safer to wait.

DrManhattan · 31/12/2020 10:29

@lovelemoncurd
Yes I bet there are loads of people you need to argue with online today. Crack on

MargosKaftan · 31/12/2020 10:37

Why is it safer to wait? If you have insurance that'll pay out if you can't go, why wait until its a last minute rush, or you might not be able to book the leave, or not have the same choice of accommodation?

The vaccine isn't a magic pill that will completely remove covid overnight. But it will make it less of a problem.

The problem has never been healthy 30-somethings catching covid, its always been the older or vunerable catching it and being very sick/needing lots of resources to recover/dying. Once that group stops catching it, then there will be less pressure to do something about keeping the spread of covid down.

Given how many have already had the first vaccine and the new Oxford one is rolling out from next week, its not that unreasonable to think the situation in April will be very different to the one now.

Why not book now when there's choice and discounts?

Scarby9 · 31/12/2020 10:40

Our booking - made early September - in a holiday apartment for the week over Christmas (not really for a holiday but as a base from which to visit our parents) looked unlikely to happen when the area went into Tier 3, then a possibility when the 5 days of Christmas bubble were announced.

When that dropped to one day, the owners offered to transfer the booking to the week covering Easter, so the first week in April.

Christmas presents, crackers, festive napkins and candles have all been packed for that, and I am seen as a bit of a Grinch for counselling caution. I just don't want them to be disappointed again, and the start of April seems very soon to me. End of April I feel is more possible, but I have no scientific or mathematical basis for that.

MargosKaftan · 31/12/2020 10:42

Oh but OP - if you are someone who won't feel comfortable going away from home until covid has completely gone, you do need to verbalise that to your DH now. Don't say its because you might not be able to go, because you might find yourself in the situation of being able to go on holiday in April and having to and that point say you just don't want to.

They arent mad to book a holiday (with insurance), but if the idea scares you, you need to not hide behind pretending the problem is you won't be able to to then, but be clear you won't want to go.

thedancingbear · 31/12/2020 10:52

I wouldn't bother with him, lovelemoncurd. Ignorant is as ignorant does.

He's useful in a way because he demonstrates pretty well just the sort of attitudes people trying to fix this things are up against

peboh · 31/12/2020 10:54

I don't think you're being unreasonable, but I also don't think your dh and sil are either.
People want hope, they want to book a holiday as something nice to look forward to. Do I think April is a good time? I don't know, I'm not a scientist, or a medical professional who can confidently say where I predict we'll be by then.
I think if you really aren't comfortable then you just need to tell them that, and that you won't be going.

PurpleMustang · 31/12/2020 11:01

Is he thinking everyone would of had a vaccine by then? On the government calculator most of the normal population are due to have it June to Sept. Hoping with the new one that reduces slightly

SusannahSophia · 31/12/2020 11:38

When they said April next year, did they really mean 2021 or 2022?

Keratinsmooth · 31/12/2020 11:46

Book with TUI or one of their brands, they have a covid guarantee

rookiemere · 31/12/2020 11:57

We have three holidays booked for 2021 - two are carry forward from 2021. So a week in July with extended family in Lake District and a week in Majorca end of August with friends. Vaguely optimistic both of those will happen.

Then a couple of weeks ago have booked 10 days in Lisbon for DH and I whilst DS is hopefully going to be on school outward bound type thing. Not convinced that will go ahead, but it's Easyjet flights at £110 for both of us , so if not will just move forward.

We need to remember that up until a few days ago some holidays abroad were still operating. A FB friend is - rather hypocritically in my opinion as was a big stay the F at homer in earlier times - in Gran Canaria currently and posting multiple pictures each day Envy.

It's a different question to ask if people should be travelling as opposed to are they allowed.

rookiemere · 31/12/2020 11:59

Sorry Lisbon trip is May - I should have said

twilightermummy · 31/12/2020 12:05

Are we going to be able to travel to other countries without the vaccination? It would seem a crazy rule to forbid it seeing as throughout the summer we could go abroad when a vaccine hadn't even been approved. I'm losing hope!