To think that families who construct their lifestyle around two incomes are living very precariously?

[Circumlocutious]

I’m talking situations where the two incomes are absolutely essential to paying the mortgage and bills. A situation where there is no ‘give’, no flexibility: what if there is a chronic illness in the family, one person can no longer work, school closures (well, you’re seeing it now)? Isn’t this a precarious way to live?

I get that sometimes there may be no other choice, especially when saving up for mortgage. But often it seems like people’s lifestyle - the house they choose to buy, the size of their mortgage, the area they live in, their cars, the schools they pay to send their children to - have adapted to fit around two full incomes, even when they could have made different choices. Many people live fancy lifestyles with no room for error. They can’t scale back their spending without making major changes, eg moving house, which are harder to do once you’re used to your current lifestyle.

AIBU to say that more couples should aim to contain family spending to the level of one earning partner? Is this unrealistic?

@LadyDique

Where do you live?

@AhNowTed Wales

FFS seriously.

Who doesn't understand that £50K in Middlesbrough has far more purchasing power than £50K in London.

[quote LadyDique]@AhNowTed Wales[/quote]

Great, we'll all move to Wales.

This thread seems to have kicked off a bit!

I would agree that I feel more comfortable if essential expenses can be covered by one of us if absolutely necessary. I’m a cautious person, brought up by a frugal family, and have always wanted to be prepared financially in case anything went wrong. I’ve had anxiety about money in the past which was horrible so I’d rather live beneath my means, save for a rainy day and know that I’m prepared if needed. I don’t mean being excessively frugal, but just making choices that allow wiggle room if possible. This helped a lot when things did go wrong this year and I was made redundant because of covid.

Obviously some people live in more expensive areas, or have bigger families, or only make enough to get by. I’m sure the OP didn’t mean to criticise and upset those people. They probably just meant that if you have the option then it’s best not to overstretch yourself.

Not quite sure of the point you're trying to make @AhNowTed but I assume your reading comprehension isn't too good.

The amounts or location involved are irrelevant to what I posted. I quite clearly said the op was not bu when referring to people who pushed themselves to the limit of two salaries through choice - ie bigger house/nicer cars than necessary.

Do you disagree? Do you think it wise to do so when it's from choice and for those who spending less on your house/car/other outgoings is a realistic possibility?

@LadyDique totally agree! Those who are on big salaries but spend every penny on much more expensive things are really no more secure than those on much lower salaries, as they’ve still got no safety net.

@LadyDique

Seriously...

You live n Wales, where the average cost of housing is £212k.

I live in the south east, where the average cost of housing is £418k:

Surely even basic maths tells you that we need to earn twice what you do for the same standard of living?

Surely even basic maths tells you that we need to earn twice what you do for the same standard of living?

Yes. That much is obvious.

How is that relevant to what I've posted exactly?

to the limit of two salaries through choice - ie bigger house/nicer cars than necessary.

But surely we all have bigger houses than necessary as people do manage with a family in a 1 bed flat. Some people live in caravans...

As for nicer cars than necessary, surely any car is more than necessary.

As for "all these people you know" with fabulous big houses who would quickly come unstuck, how do you know they don't have the relevant savings and insurances to manage this? We would appear to be the people you describe, but we are not- we have sufficient savings, relevant insurances and only a small shortfall between lowest earner and essential bills.

And yes, certain jobs (like a hospital doctor) pay the same anywhere in the country pretty much, but how far that will go varies from area to are, I also have very limited control over what hospital I can work at (at least earlier on in my career and how far from that hospital I can live.

So can you now see that 2 wages doesn't mean a "luxurious lifestyle", but merely means coping in a less affordable location?

2 wages would buy me and dh a very luxurious lifestyle, for us it has no relevance to living anywhere particular tbh.
We are all different and for people to state that everyone needs 2 incomes is just plain wrong.
Yes, some people do, but that is obviously down to choice as to where you live, what you earn and of course what you spend.
Some people don't even need more than one small min wage to live well.
As for living within means on what people earn, that too is down to choice.

So now people shouldn't live within their means they should live within half their means? Eh?

There's too many variables to make sweeping judgements on whether folks are living well within their means.

A retired couple for example has more options to live in cheaper locations than a couple with a young family, building careers to provide future security.

Sure we could all live in a one-bed flat in a deprived area but it's hardly realistic.

If this isn’t about you, or anyone you know/care about - then you aren’t being unreasonable, you’re simply being nosy and judgemental. How other people choose to live their lives is not your concern.

I can see why people do this though. You can’t expect people to earn 2 wages and live as though they just have one salary. For what? To always live life on the edge it’s no life to plan and save for a potential emergency (I don’t mean a bit of money away out away in case the boiler breaks).

I agree some people only have one income too. So what can be done about that.

Some people don't even need more than one small min wage to live well.

Really who? And what does 'live well' mean to you?