To think that families who construct their lifestyle around two incomes are living very precariously?

[Circumlocutious]

I’m talking situations where the two incomes are absolutely essential to paying the mortgage and bills. A situation where there is no ‘give’, no flexibility: what if there is a chronic illness in the family, one person can no longer work, school closures (well, you’re seeing it now)? Isn’t this a precarious way to live?

I get that sometimes there may be no other choice, especially when saving up for mortgage. But often it seems like people’s lifestyle - the house they choose to buy, the size of their mortgage, the area they live in, their cars, the schools they pay to send their children to - have adapted to fit around two full incomes, even when they could have made different choices. Many people live fancy lifestyles with no room for error. They can’t scale back their spending without making major changes, eg moving house, which are harder to do once you’re used to your current lifestyle.

AIBU to say that more couples should aim to contain family spending to the level of one earning partner? Is this unrealistic?

I think it did but I can't see how it will be like the past boom.

There is a ceiling even in London hence why cheaper boroughs have seen increased.

@jillypill I don't think it would be like the past boom. But I am always shocked by how much london house prices go up in certain areas even during a pandemic- see the above article.

I mean if life was about minimizing costs, DH and I should take our 100K equity and buy a terrace in Wales mortgage free instead of our London flat. Our bills would be very low as we only need to pay for council tax, utilities and food and we would definitely be able to survive on 1 income even with 1 DC and even if we took huge pay cuts. I don't see many Londoners wanting to do that (other than the 50 year olds going for semi retirement and some people with family in the area). Most of them are still staying in the SE which means that they are paying the same price as londoners for their house- except that they now have off street parking, a garden and more rooms to heat. So prices will still stay high in the SE.

YABU. We both work because it is important to our wellbeing and sense of self and we use the money earned to fund our lifestyle, because we can.

If we had a change of fortune, we would have to adjust our lifestyle to suit. And yes, this would include downsizing the house and possibly moving the children's schools, but we also have savings and insurances to mitigate that risk.

@jillypill Islington in north London has shown the fastest house price growth over 2020, with the average property rising 13.4% to £727,922, according to the estate agent Halifax.

Islington is a very expensive borough. I don't know why people want to move there during a pandemic..sorry to people who live in islington, but i find it very ugly and grey. And you get to be in the same area as Dominic Cummings...

Yes but it would be interesting to see that breakdown of that rise eg was in flats or big houses as the growth won't be even.

I don't think London will see a huge fall just stagnation & more remote working will push people out a bit. DH & I are Londoners but will likely move out in the next yr or so as lots of my neighbours & friends have. The house we want here is about 1.5m even if we could stretch to that I'm not prepared to see so much income swallowed up. Our dc are now in school so don't need the family support so much although they will probably move out a bit soon.

What about single people (parents or otherwise) who are reliant on one income? No give there either.

I have several chronic illnesses, all of which make it hard to work - but it's taking years to get a diagnosis. There will come a point where I won't be able to work, and I have no fallback.

Critical illness cover exists.

The case is not unreasonable, but there is a large section of the population termed The Precariatwhich means that the will always need two incomes to get by. In the days when good quailty council houses could be rented locally at reasonable rates, it was probably possible to live on one income for a while. Thatcher destroyed all that. Private renting has led to much misery in many cases. Farther back in time, couples often could not marry until well into their twenies or older, when life expectancy was a good deal shorter and contraception was not available to many women. What is needed is a state intervention to build imaginative, inexpensive, housing like the postwar prefabs for rent. Private buiding firms will never do this.

We always managed on one income, but having more helped to save/ pay off mortgage quicker.
A low income is fine if you manage your lifestyle as such.
I never understand why people choose a lifestyle that means they are pushed to the edge financially, however much they earn.

No more then a household on one income when someone stays at home

Threads like this make me crap myself. I'm a single parent, so 1 wage and v little in the way of maintenance for our 3 dc. I earn a decent amount, just enough not to qualify for benefits so don't have to worry about losing them. We don't live in the lap of luxury by any means but can afford to have a take away once a month, a coffee and cake if we are out and about, and the odd small treat. Its comfy.

BUT I don't have rainy day savings as I can't afford them (I do however put money aside for usual Xmas, bday, car insurance etc), I am paying off the credit card balance I accrued when replacing our literally falling apart kitchen and if my job went tits up we would be well and truly buggered.

Thankfully it's in an incredibly stable industry/organisation as if it wasn't I would be lying awake at night with the worry.

I think unless its you or they are asking you for money, its not your business

I disagree. If you want to talk about ‘precarious’ financial situations the most precarious one I can think of is a couple with children where one parent opts out of paid work for 5+ years to be a SAHM. While their partner’s earnings increase as they focus on their career, the SAHMs earning potential decreases, sometimes irretrievably.

For the first 12 pages, I was trying to decide if OP was just being smug and goady, or if she really was in such a protected bubble of naivety that she had no idea about the lives of the overwhelming majority of people. the mention of school fees in the OP, perhaps should have given a clue.

But maybe I should have tightened my argument - I don’t think this is confined to low income families, but refers mainly to those earning above-average salaries with outwardly comfortable middle class lifestyles. Wages and jobs that would be considered very very good indeed, but still highly vulnerable to a change in circumstances.
YWBVU to not put this ^ in to the opening post, as it is a completely different question from what people have been answering for the first 12 pages.

One income is just as bad though. What if that one person looses their job and the other doesn't work?

We can’t afford to live on one income, we wouldn’t even be able to afford the rent in our area on one wage. As it is I have 2 jobs and DH works full time. My main job and DH’s wage pay the basics, my second job is luxuries, if that goes we’d be ok.
DH would love for my wage to cover everything and for him to give up work, but that’s not ever realistic, the NHS just doesn’t pay enough!

Solo parent here, no family to fall back on for any type of support financial or otherwise. I earn a decent wage for the area; I live frugally yet paycheck to paycheck. I have a small amount of savings, of course I’d like have a better safety net, or be able to take my child on holiday; it is what it is. I didn’t expect my life to turn out how it has good and bad; I’d love to be In a settled Relationship and share daily life, bills included but honestly I’ve lived without that all of my life, not sure I could adapt to cohabiting now. I’d like a 2 person income one person household 😂 (with my child of course) I’m not envious of others. I’m uncomfortably content

I have mapped my life (and expenditure) around a 30k single income as I was a lone parent for 6 years, got made redundant and was made homeless with 3DC and worked 16 hours in a working mens club on NMW, after leaving a violent marriage within a 8 month timeframe. I used foodbanks and me and the DC were really poor.

In 2020 I have gone up a band to 38k a year and have an income of another 2k from maintenance. Due to the pandemic my DP moved into my house. He has a 40k income. So we have a combined household income of 80k now. My mortgage is £269 a month, rent £140. Bills come to about 700. I am exceptionally nervous about adjusting my lifestyle and housing to match our income. It can literally be removed overnight. Once the police took me out of the marital home with a broken jaw and the clothes we stood in I was plunged into a life I didn't know. Nothing will send me back there and I will never be so naive financially again.

Sooo many people live beyond their means and have no savings, its mental, all fuelled by insta loving grey filled new build homes...that all look exactly the same...what an aspiration...to be in debt and everything in my house is grey hut hey i drive a bmw ...nobheads...if you cant afford it dont buy it on credit!!!

Sounds like you’re envious of those who can make this life style possible for themselves, OP. Such a lifestyle has entry barriers though (quality education, skills, social network & capital), so not everyone can achieve it.

We did this with our mortgage. We could’ve borrowed a crazy amount if we were both on the mortgage. Instead we bought a more normal house and know now if one of us loses our job or is sick we can pay the mortgage as we earn similar salaries. A few of our friends have done similar. Others definitely need both salaries to survive

Cone round to mine. I'll show you. 49 year old single parent. Postgraduate. teacher PT. 2 kids. Benefits and sell stuff I make on eBay. Most expensive area of s.e.
It's about adapting. Take a deep breath..I love my life

No one can say what is ideal for another person.

Everyone is different with different priorities, everyone has different ideas of risk and everyone has a view of what gives them worth and value.

Providing the couple are happy with their own set up, what does it matter.

A few years ago DH (then boyfriend) lost his job. Even with no kids money was very tight on just one salary and we got a bit more in debt. Now we have a child and depend on both salaries. I dont think either of us earns enough for us to cope on just one income