To think that families who construct their lifestyle around two incomes are living very precariously?

[Circumlocutious]

I’m talking situations where the two incomes are absolutely essential to paying the mortgage and bills. A situation where there is no ‘give’, no flexibility: what if there is a chronic illness in the family, one person can no longer work, school closures (well, you’re seeing it now)? Isn’t this a precarious way to live?

I get that sometimes there may be no other choice, especially when saving up for mortgage. But often it seems like people’s lifestyle - the house they choose to buy, the size of their mortgage, the area they live in, their cars, the schools they pay to send their children to - have adapted to fit around two full incomes, even when they could have made different choices. Many people live fancy lifestyles with no room for error. They can’t scale back their spending without making major changes, eg moving house, which are harder to do once you’re used to your current lifestyle.

AIBU to say that more couples should aim to contain family spending to the level of one earning partner? Is this unrealistic?

I agree. So many high earners are complaining they can't manage now one post their job. But they live in huge houses and spend every penny. People need to learn to save and not buy the biggest house / car / foreign holiday they can afford. I read one middle class woman previously on 100 k shocked she was only getting fifty quid a week in benefits to live on. Welcome to the world of the working class.

Benefits aren’t the world of the working class though are they Though. Working people don’t need JSA.

The glee people express when people fall in hard times is depressing.

Most people who have worked all their lives would struggle on basic benefits.

Urgh

YANBU. None of us know what's around the corner.

Wow this is completely unreasonable. The only way a family can exist from a single earner is if that person earns alot of money. Yes, even in the cheapest areas. Most people don't have the option to be high earners (don't have the contacts, the education or the capital). OP you sound extremely privileged.

It depends on whether you want to live within your means or both work ft to provide a more luxurious lifestyle.
Nothing wrong with either attitude.

Hahaha.

We couldn't make it through a month on just one income. We barely do it on two.

Celestine70 so everyone should live their entire lives as though they are on benefits? Where would the economy be then? Where would lower cost houses be? The insurance industry? What would we do with all the savings that would be accrued?

What benefit is it to anyone but us to sell our current house and live mortgage free in a smaller one?

It is possible though, we have always managed on the equiv of one min wage.
Paid a mortgage, raised 3 kids, not a rich lifestyle but nobody went without needs, just didn't have so many wants.

Almost impossible to get a mortgage on two salaries let alone one where I live. Times have changed and unless your DH earns say £65k+ there is no way.

Insurance. Duh

Wow yes we just use my wages for fun 🤣🤣🤣

all of those irresponsible people choosing to earn minimum wage and both partners working, eh?
OP is a goady entitled twat.

Youngsters both on min wage up here are getting mortgages easy.
Especially those happy to take on a dooer up.
It depends on where you choose to live as well.
We saved by not having monthly direct debits for entertainment, cars, etc. Obviously necessary household bills by dd.

If you’re careful about what and where you buy, a house is a great investment. Every year you pay off the mortgage and property prices increase, so your equity in the house increases. If something awful happened, employment/sickness insurance should mean your mortgage will be covered for long enough for you to downsize and free up funds from the house.

Everyone is one illness or accident away from drastically reduced circumstances.

Yabu

You should use credit cards for big purchases, holidays etc as it gives you better protection.

Sorry yes, I mean using it for the credit purpose, we have the money to pay in off in full or we don't have it.

Obviously if you need it for day to day things it's unavoidable.

We’ve always worked on the basis that we could live on one salary if we needed to. Even when we bought for first property in 2002 at age 23 - because we knew we wanted children within 5/6 years we didn’t overstretch ourselves. We moved to a bigger place before our first child
Was born in 2008 and again looked for
Somewhere that we could Afford on one salary. It was right at times but it was
Doable so I was able to stay home for a few years until our second was a year old. Then, instead of returning to my old career, I did some home care work at weekends which enabled us to afford nicer holidays, more luxuries etc. It wasn’t always easy. DH and I were like ships in the night for a couple
Of years but equally it gave me some off from being mum and she some hands on dad experience. I’ve since resumed my career freelance and working from home which has meant we are now financially very comfortable but also know as a freelancer things could always go wrong. So we haven’t moved to a grander house or anything like that so we know that we will always be ok (fingers x anyway). It can be done - and no we don’t live in the sticks - we are 20 mins outside central London and never had any parental help to get on the property.

We have always been able to pay mortgage , fuel bills and basic food shop from one salary .

We both work because we like to buy some nice things as well .

We have also been lucky that we bought our house in the 1990s when housing was a lot cheaper, and that housing is inexpensive here anyway .

I get you OP I have friends who both earn good salaries and have tied themselves into spending it all every month (massive mortgages, brand new cars on lease hire, ridiculously expensive phone contracts, holidays on credit cards etc.), they like fancy material things so, if they're happy, they're working for it and not hurting anyone, but I personally would be a bundle of angst as, having been in a LOT of debt with my ex, I'm more cautious.

We're lucky to live in an area where houses are relatively cheap, we (DH, DS and me) live in the 2 bed terrace I got the mortgage on when I was single 15 years ago, either of our wages can cover the few things we are tied into, we drive old but well-maintained cars that we own outright, we put a bit into savings each month, do spend most of what's left on whatever we want but don't get tied into contracts, have no loans, credit cards and, if we don't actually NEED something and can't afford it we either save or don't have it. So, if one of us was made redundant we can scale things right back and have a little safety net of savings too.

I read somewhere that some people spend money they haven't got, on things they don't need, to impress people they don't even like. I like been driven around by my friends in their lovely fancy cars, but would be just as happy in their company on the bus!

These days mortgage lending is much tighter so it's quite difficult to over leverage yourself.

Get your head out of your arse!! Seriously, people are barely surviving out there. How pretentious!!

I think it depends on many things. Your age for one thing. And there seems to be an assumption that situations are fixed. But my experience hasn’t been like that at all. I’ve had redundancies and I’ve studied for additional qualifications, changing jobs to develop my career rather than wait for openings with current employers.

When in my 20s, 30s and 40s finances were pushed to afford larger homes. I got divorced in early 40s and was glad we had a house that could be sold to provide enough equity to buy two smaller properties for us each to live in with a mortgage that was possible on one wage.

Now I’m almost 60 and my income is highly unlikely to increase again but I’ve planned for that and have spent the last decade reducing debt. By the time I retire I will be mortgage free because I will downsize. I am remarried and we have two good incomes but since my divorce we each have retained a lot of financial independence. We have set up things so we have insurance, savings and other contingencies (like mortgage overpayment access) if unexpected events occur.

However I have the luxury of comfortably off parents who will help if things ever get really difficult. I’ve never needed their safety net but it is good to know it’s there. My best mate who is estranged from her parents has never had that option so her financial decisions have been very different from mine and much more cautious.

A good mantra is ‘live for today with an eye on the future’.

When in my 20s, 30s and 40s finances were pushed to afford larger homes. I got divorced in early 40s and was glad we had a house that could be sold to provide enough equity to buy two smaller properties for us each to live in with a mortgage that was possible on one wage.

This is my attitude to house buying and mortgages too. A house is an investment, we pushed ourselves on our current purchase not just to ensure future proofed living space, but to make a bigger investment. At the moment property outstrips savings as an investment, we could have bought a smaller home and put more into savings than into a mortgage, but we'd have less to show for it long term. Don't get me wrong there are risks, as with all financial investments, we've considered changing interest rates etc, and there's a balance to be struck of course, but for us it meant a more appropriate home in the short and medium term, and hopefully a good investment in the long term, time will tell.

But the average UK salary is about £30,000. Which is a bit over £500 per week.