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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Vegan gift.

531 replies

FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:11

It was my birthday over the Christmas period; my friend - who is quite the "militant vegan" - has sent me some chocolates through the post which is really lovely and thoughtful of her.

However upon opening the chocolate I have found that it is vegan and gluten-free. I am neither of these things. I'm grateful for the thought but sadly this gift will go to waste as it is not something I'd eat.

I probably sound massively ungrateful but I really do appreciate the thought - the only reason I'm a bit irked by it is because I bend over backwards to only buy vegan, ethical products for my friend that I know she will use. She hasn't reciprocated this and has instead bought me something she would like, not me.

AIBU or just truthful? My DH understands why I am put out but I feel really ungrateful - if anything I'm more annoyed that this gift will go unused and my friend will have ultimately wasted her money.

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 31/12/2020 01:13

@Lizzy1980

Just give them a try. I’m sure they wont be that terrible that they’re inedible. If you don’t like them then fair enough but at least give them a go. I do see your point but it was a gift bought for you with good intentions. I made a curry recently which my meat eating friend was heartily tucking in to. She asked me what meat it was and as soon as I told her it was a meat substitute she stopped eating it and said she couldn’t eat it as she didn’t like veggie food. She was really enjoying it before she knew
I'm sorry but that was absolutely so rude of your friend - if you read my responses you'd realise the issue wasn't to do with the fact the chocs were vegan.

Really sorry your friend did that to you when you'd spent time making it for her. I eat a lot of vegan/vegetarian food (Quorn and suchlike) and would be more than grateful to tuck into one of your lovely curries! Your post made me sad Sad

OP posts:
Littleroundsponge · 31/12/2020 01:14

Your friend isn't going to buy non vegan products, I'm assuming she's vegan as she's against animal cruelty so buying "normal" chocolate is against her beliefs.

You don't have to be vegan to eat vegan chocolate, you never know you might really enjoy them

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 31/12/2020 01:16

@Sunbird24

Ahh *@FrostyChocolateMilkshake* I think I love you! 🤣 Well done on maintaining your dignity in the face of some blatant batshittery from people who like to comment having only read the original post. Bet you wish you’d just tried the chocolate/brownies before you asked the question on here though!
Thank you so much! Really kind of you to say and I'm glad I haven't gone over the edge and flipped out at all these people being nasty! Some people are unnecessarily mean aren't they to people they don't know.

But yes, I do wish I'd have just eaten the bloody things before posting to here! 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 31/12/2020 01:17

@Littleroundsponge

Your friend isn't going to buy non vegan products, I'm assuming she's vegan as she's against animal cruelty so buying "normal" chocolate is against her beliefs.

You don't have to be vegan to eat vegan chocolate, you never know you might really enjoy them

I've eaten them (well, some of it) and it was really gorgeous. Smile
OP posts:
Wheresmykimchi · 31/12/2020 01:25

@FrostyChocolateMilkshake are you copying and pasting at this point Grin

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 31/12/2020 01:30

[quote Wheresmykimchi]@FrostyChocolateMilkshake are you copying and pasting at this point Grin[/quote]
😂😂 I should be - my thumbs are about to fall off! Really must go to sleep now, but I keep nosying on here to see if anyone else has waded in. Goodnight (and I hope you find your kimchi Wink Grin)

OP posts:
Wheresmykimchi · 31/12/2020 01:30

@FrostyChocolateMilkshake is it in your vegan chocolate???

Sunbird24 · 31/12/2020 01:33

[quote Wheresmykimchi]@FrostyChocolateMilkshake are you copying and pasting at this point Grin[/quote]
🤣

WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot1 · 31/12/2020 06:08

Hi @FrostyChocolateMilkshake I'm glad you enjoyed the treats. I love vegan chocolate!
I just wanted to say that, as a vegan, I think you had a pretty hard time here and I can see your point.

Unless your friend knows you specifically like dark chocolate, I think she could have gotten you a present that was in line with her ethics but not something you may not enjoy (as dark chocolate is not something everyone likes) and I can understand how you might feel she's pushing her viewpoints on you.

As I say, I'm glad you enjoyed it, but I can see why someone would get annoyed with something like this. Yes, she shouldn't have to buy something she would feel uncomfortable with, but she could have gotten something that wasn't chocolate. Or she could have said something like "I really love these, I think you will, too, but if not let me know and I'll get you something else!"

SunshineLollipopsRainbow · 31/12/2020 08:29

I'm glad you have enjoyed them Smile

lyinginthegutterstaringatstars · 31/12/2020 08:30

Some vegan choc is nice. Vegans love sugary junk food so it has to taste nice Grin . Have a taste you might like it.

LadyPenelope68 · 31/12/2020 08:34

What an utterly ridiculous and childish attitude to have. You’re having a toddler tantrum over a box of chocolates. The difference is as vegan she CAN’T eat other types of chocolates/have certain other gifts but as a non-vegan, you CAN have anything vegan. It’s not thoughtless at all, she doesn’t want to buy none vegan chocolates but she’s still bought you something you can have. You clearly haven’t even tried them, yet you’re saying they will be awful.

oohmamama · 31/12/2020 08:39

@LadyPenelope68

What an utterly ridiculous and childish attitude to have. You’re having a toddler tantrum over a box of chocolates. The difference is as vegan she CAN’T eat other types of chocolates/have certain other gifts but as a non-vegan, you CAN have anything vegan. It’s not thoughtless at all, she doesn’t want to buy none vegan chocolates but she’s still bought you something you can have. You clearly haven’t even tried them, yet you’re saying they will be awful.

RTFT

Hmm
MoonlightMedicine · 31/12/2020 08:40

It is the fact I only buy vegan products for my friend as it is her beliefs. My friend hasn't reciprocated that and has bought me something she would like, not me.*
*
But your friend is vegan so, as a vegan, wouldn't buy anything that supports the dairy industry. It's nothing to do with reciprocating and I bet a great deal of thought went into her choice.

Lots of vegan chocolate is gluten free, and delicious.

Ginfordinner · 31/12/2020 08:44

You clearly haven’t even tried them, yet you’re saying they will be awful.

You clearly haven't even read the OP's updates. Just select "see all" on the OP's posts

Oneearringlost · 31/12/2020 09:09

@Ginfordinner

YABVVVVVVVVVVVVU.

Vegan chocolate is plain chocolate, that's all. It doesn't contain tofu or lentils or avocado.

Grow up!

Ouch!
DHdweller · 31/12/2020 09:10

Typical bellendry from a vegan

Ginfordinner · 31/12/2020 09:18

Please read my updates as well @Oneearringlost

Ginfordinner · 31/12/2020 09:20

I'm not a vegan @DHdweller. Please read my updates.

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 31/12/2020 09:29

@LadyPenelope68

What an utterly ridiculous and childish attitude to have. You’re having a toddler tantrum over a box of chocolates. The difference is as vegan she CAN’T eat other types of chocolates/have certain other gifts but as a non-vegan, you CAN have anything vegan. It’s not thoughtless at all, she doesn’t want to buy none vegan chocolates but she’s still bought you something you can have. You clearly haven’t even tried them, yet you’re saying they will be awful.
Please read my updates before you spit insults at me.
OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 31/12/2020 09:30

@Ginfordinner I think we need to don our tin hats again 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 31/12/2020 09:35

@WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot1

Hi *@FrostyChocolateMilkshake* I'm glad you enjoyed the treats. I love vegan chocolate! I just wanted to say that, as a vegan, I think you had a pretty hard time here and I can see your point.

Unless your friend knows you specifically like dark chocolate, I think she could have gotten you a present that was in line with her ethics but not something you may not enjoy (as dark chocolate is not something everyone likes) and I can understand how you might feel she's pushing her viewpoints on you.

As I say, I'm glad you enjoyed it, but I can see why someone would get annoyed with something like this. Yes, she shouldn't have to buy something she would feel uncomfortable with, but she could have gotten something that wasn't chocolate. Or she could have said something like "I really love these, I think you will, too, but if not let me know and I'll get you something else!"

Hello there! Can I say, thank you so much for actually reading the full post, or at least my updates. You have completely got my point and haven't resorted to calling me "childish" or whatever other insults I've had hurled at me over the course of this thread.

I'm not a huge dark chocolate fan - if I was going to choose any chocs it would be milk. I can understand completely why my friend bought me the vegan chocs; clearly it is within her ethics and she doesn't feel comfortable contributing to the dairy industry.

They are really delicious which I am glad about! You vegans do have some lovely chocolates Grin Grin thanks again for being so kind, really appreciate it especially when you could have easily just hit the roof and assumed the worst of me.

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 31/12/2020 09:37

[quote Wheresmykimchi]@FrostyChocolateMilkshake is it in your vegan chocolate???[/quote]
😂😂😂

OP posts:
DHdweller · 31/12/2020 09:37

@Ginfordinner not on about you.

WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot1 · 31/12/2020 09:47

@FrostyChocolateMilkshake
You're very welcome. You seem to get a lot of hate just because you "can eat" vegan chocolates, doesn't mean this needs to be thrust upon you, especially if you're not a fan. Could have gotten you a book or bubble bath or a nice candle where it is in line with her views but doesn't feel so forced on you.

I say this as I'm someone who believes we can all have our own choices but shouldn't force others to see our way. I would never make my DH eat vegetarian or vegan as he doesn't want to.

Have a lovely NYE and please don't let people calling you names get to you. I would have felt exactly the same in your shoes (before I became vegan, and when I used to hate dark chocolate)