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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Vegan gift.

531 replies

FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:11

It was my birthday over the Christmas period; my friend - who is quite the "militant vegan" - has sent me some chocolates through the post which is really lovely and thoughtful of her.

However upon opening the chocolate I have found that it is vegan and gluten-free. I am neither of these things. I'm grateful for the thought but sadly this gift will go to waste as it is not something I'd eat.

I probably sound massively ungrateful but I really do appreciate the thought - the only reason I'm a bit irked by it is because I bend over backwards to only buy vegan, ethical products for my friend that I know she will use. She hasn't reciprocated this and has instead bought me something she would like, not me.

AIBU or just truthful? My DH understands why I am put out but I feel really ungrateful - if anything I'm more annoyed that this gift will go unused and my friend will have ultimately wasted her money.

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 20:52

@OhNoItsADalek we've had some more non-readers-of-full-threads wade in here! Pass us the wine please 😂

OP posts:
Imapotato · 30/12/2020 20:52

Just eat one and see what they’re like. If they’re gross they can go in the bin, if they’re nice, well so much the better! Either way you’ll live.

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 20:53

@Honeyroar

I always admire someone who can admit they were wrong. Glad you enjoyed them (and learned something).
Thank you. Appreciate the kind comment (as you have probably seen I've received some rather hostile remarks on here!)

The chocolates are delicious and I've definitely learnt a lesson this evening!

OP posts:
OhNoItsADalek · 30/12/2020 20:55

More wine

🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷

JingleJohnsJulie · 30/12/2020 20:56

The chocolates are delicious and I've definitely learnt a lesson this evening

Damn! I was just coming on to ask if I could have them. I'm not vegan but end up eating a lot of vegan chocolate as I'm allergic to milk. I bet they were lovely, they usually are.

Glad you enjoyed them Smile

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 21:15

@Margay

You don't know me. How do you know whether or not I "try new things"? Really weird thing to say.

Well your initial reaction to a new kind of chocolate was "Ew! I'll chuck them in the bin without trying them because they'll be horrible!". So...

If you'd read my post properly or read any of my responses you'd know that I wasn't at all bothered about the chocolates being vegan. It was the fact I thought my friend had bought me a present that was more ideal for her, or trying to force her beliefs etc on me. If that makes sense.

However I have now very much realised I was being completely idiotic to even think that way. My friend was simply sharing something she enjoyed with me. The chocolate is gorgeous and I feel awful for being so negative in the first place! Smile

OP posts:
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 30/12/2020 21:16

Come on, no one likes am OP that admits they were wrong and doesn't fight back. Play the game OP!

Itsokthanks · 30/12/2020 21:17

Yabu

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 21:18

@OchonAgusOchonO

But yes, I shall try the chocs ASAP and report back of course!

Good. However, I have to say you are being extremely unreasonable for the length of time it is taking you to try the damn chocolate.

Also, can you clarify whether you like dark chocolate or not as that will influence the weight I give your opinion?

Ha ha, I did wait WAY too long to try the lovely chocolate!

I do indeed like dark chocolate; I prefer milk but yes dark chocolate is nice, very rich isn't it so you feel you don't need to eat as much.

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 21:19

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

Come on, no one likes am OP that admits they were wrong and doesn't fight back. Play the game OP!
Yes, I'm starting to think that now! I need a rulebook for AIBU I think 😂
OP posts:
MarkRuffaloCrumble · 30/12/2020 21:23

Glad you’ve enjoyed your chocolates Frosty!

Chocolate cake recipe for @MyGhastIsFlabbered

For the filling I made a peanut butter buttercream using vegan marg, icing sugar and PB. Then I made chocolate ganache for the top using dark chocolate and coconut cream. Then sprinkled the top with salted peanuts and gold glitter!! My dairy free friend absolutely loved it.

Enjoy!

AIBU? Vegan gift.
Quaagars · 30/12/2020 21:23

YABU
I'm not vegan, but do eat a lot of vegan food and I cannot be doing with people who are like "urgh, vegan!" without even trying it.
It's like they hear the V word and automatically go nope, nope, nope on principle lol, it's utterly bizarre.

VerbenaGirl · 30/12/2020 21:26

Several of my family members are vegan and I’d feel uncomfortable if they bought me something non-vegan, as I wouldn’t want to put them in that position. My daughter is dairy free, and so also eats vegan chocolate, and some of it is very good - especially now there are lots of nut milk variations in addition to dark.

BikerWife · 30/12/2020 21:29

My daughter has a dairy intolerance and buys vego which is vegan chocolate and it's surprisingly good! Agree a lot of GF things (bread, biscuits, pastry) are poor copies but as most chocolate doesn't have gluten in then it's not such an issue.

Glad you tried and enjoyed them... And 'grew up' Grin

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 21:31

@BikerWife until tonight I never actually knew chocolate is gluten free! Learn something new every day Smile

OP posts:
Quaagars · 30/12/2020 21:34

@Mrstwiddle

I’m with you OP, I’d be annoyed too, the vegan chocolate/biscuits I’ve tried are not as nice as non vegan.
@Mrstwiddle Oreos are vegan a lot of chocolate bourbon biscuits are pink wafers are Hobnobs are Burton's Jammy Dodgers are So are nearly all ginger biscuits

There's so many that are accidentally vegan, that's just a few - they're not special ones - I bet if they put "vegan" on the label it'd scare half the meat eating population out of their wits and they'd suddenly not like them anymore
all the more for me Grin

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 21:35

@Quaagars I'm not vegan, but do eat a lot of vegan food and I cannot be doing with people who are like "urgh, vegan!" without even trying it.

Not to sound rude but you've missed my point entirely...I couldn't give a hoot that the chocolate was vegan. I really can't be bothered typing out my explanations again (I've had to explain myself approximately 2354 times tonight so as you can imagine my thumbs are a bit tired) but everything is explained in my previous responses.

I'm a foodie so love pretty much everything. Including vegan stuff Smile

OP posts:
summersounds · 30/12/2020 21:37

I had a mini vegan chocolate bar along with a disco light bulb from my secret Santa, the vegan chocolate was absolutely vile. Really hoping I don't get the same moron for 2021 Xmas Santa cos the cow couldn't be bothered to get me a decent gift and I love chocolate but that vegan one was absolutely disgusting tasting

pinfloy · 30/12/2020 21:40

until tonight I never actually knew chocolate is gluten free! Learn something new every day

Just be aware that a huge amount of chocolate is not suitable for coeliacs if ever catering for someone. Even if there's no gluten containing ingredients, many things are manufactured on shared lines, so can be cross contaminated.

I'm off to do my research now as someone up thread mentioned their Lindt chocolate was gluten free and Lindt chocolate never used to be suitable for coeliacs so I need to check again, these things change all the time.

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 21:42

@quaagars Oreos are so good - can't believe they are vegan; I thought there would be milk or cream in the filling.

OP posts:
TheOneLeggedJockey · 30/12/2020 22:03

There's so many that are accidentally vegan, that's just a few - they're not special ones - I bet if they put "vegan" on the label it'd scare half the meat eating population out of their wits and they'd suddenly not like them anymore

Vegan food definitely doesn’t scare me - I have vegan friends that have put out a cookbook and have cooked fully vegan recipes before.

However, rightly or wrong, if I saw chocolate was labeled vegan, I’d definitely assume it wasn’t as good and would probably avoid it. I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only omnivore to think like this!

Not after this thread though! I am now realising I have been quite naive, and am definitely more open to considering different vegan products.

Thanks @FrostyChocolateMilkshake!

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 22:07

@TheOneLeggedJockey thank you for your support tonight - this thread got a little bit vicious so I'm glad you defended me! Flowers for you Flowers

We both learned something about vegan food tonight! Think we both deserve a wine Wine

OP posts:
TheOneLeggedJockey · 30/12/2020 22:09

We both learned something about vegan food tonight! Think we both deserve a wine wine

Thank you! Though it’s morning where I am, so (slightly) too early for wine 🤣 - I will save it for this evening - NYE! 🥳

OhNoItsADalek · 30/12/2020 22:09

However, rightly or wrong, if I saw chocolate was labeled vegan, I’d definitely assume it wasn’t as good

Why?

TheOneLeggedJockey · 30/12/2020 22:10

@OhNoItsADalek

However, rightly or wrong, if I saw chocolate was labeled vegan, I’d definitely assume it wasn’t as good

Why?

🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ve admitted I’d be wrong, so...!