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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Vegan gift.

531 replies

FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 17:11

It was my birthday over the Christmas period; my friend - who is quite the "militant vegan" - has sent me some chocolates through the post which is really lovely and thoughtful of her.

However upon opening the chocolate I have found that it is vegan and gluten-free. I am neither of these things. I'm grateful for the thought but sadly this gift will go to waste as it is not something I'd eat.

I probably sound massively ungrateful but I really do appreciate the thought - the only reason I'm a bit irked by it is because I bend over backwards to only buy vegan, ethical products for my friend that I know she will use. She hasn't reciprocated this and has instead bought me something she would like, not me.

AIBU or just truthful? My DH understands why I am put out but I feel really ungrateful - if anything I'm more annoyed that this gift will go unused and my friend will have ultimately wasted her money.

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 23:32

@SunshineLollipopsRainbow you are late to the party on this one! This has been discussed quite thoroughly and I fully agree I was being unreasonable for having that attitude. I have taken a new viewpoint on this and given myself an internal kicking Smile

OP posts:
Wheresmykimchi · 30/12/2020 23:33

Oops my apologies OP.

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 30/12/2020 23:37

@Wheresmykimchi no problem at all Smile enjoy your evening.

OP posts:
Quaagars · 30/12/2020 23:38

Is this thread the vegan version of cancel the cheque Grin

Wheresmykimchi · 30/12/2020 23:39

[quote FrostyChocolateMilkshake]@Wheresmykimchi no problem at all Smile enjoy your evening.[/quote]
Just read through.

Glad your chocolates were nice and congratulations on surviving your MN pounding Grin

Jessicabrassica · 30/12/2020 23:40

Gosh you had a hard time from the TL:DR brigade. Well done for hanging in there! I just got overly invested in whether you liked the chocolate. Glad you did!

burnoutbabe · 30/12/2020 23:46

I know what the op means, I had a vegan gf brownie once and it was just very dry.

So my local coffee shop does brownies cakes but they all have in big letters vegan and gf under then. Which puts me off, I was waiting for them also to do normal ones. But someone said they actually would normally not have gluten in and would be vegan. But the way they are advertised makes it sound like they have deliberately removed it, rather than it was never there in first place.

Raerae7 · 30/12/2020 23:50

@Rtmhwales

Most of the vegan chocolate I've tried is gross.

But that's not even the point of the OP. If you'd sent your friend a box of regular non vegan chocolates how would she have reacted? Not really kind to send her/you something they don't like and wouldn't consume.

That's not really the point though.

Eating non-vegan food is against a vegan person's fundamental and moral belief, so buying them non-vegan food would be like buying a Muslim pork or a Hindu some beef. It's just not something you do, it's offensive.

But a non-vegan receiving vegan food from someone is not offensive. Sure it might not be something the individual would have chosen for themselves, but it's not against their beliefs about the world.

Wheresmykimchi · 30/12/2020 23:54

OP having read it all - well done. I've had a pile on myself and it's horrid - you handled that spectacularly! If I'd seen it I'd have backed you but as it is I was just too keen to tell you to get them eaten so I could find out what they were like (as my flatmate is obsessed with all vegan and gluten free and keeps trying to tempt me - before anyone says anything she isn't a vegan she just likes it!)

CatRamsey · 30/12/2020 23:59

I would be disappointed too OP.

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 31/12/2020 00:03

@Wheresmykimchi Glad your chocolates were nice and congratulations on surviving your MN pounding

Thank you Smile I am utterly exhausted; I'd normally have bowed out by now but I feel I don't want the thread to end with people thinking I am an ungrateful, vegan-hating idiot!

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 31/12/2020 00:05

@Jessicabrassica

Gosh you had a hard time from the TL:DR brigade. Well done for hanging in there! I just got overly invested in whether you liked the chocolate. Glad you did!
Thank you - I am just about hanging on by a thread now! Luckily it is bedtime for me so I am going to hit the hay and HOPEFULLY more people won't pile on without reading first Smile
OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 31/12/2020 00:06

@Wheresmykimchi

OP having read it all - well done. I've had a pile on myself and it's horrid - you handled that spectacularly! If I'd seen it I'd have backed you but as it is I was just too keen to tell you to get them eaten so I could find out what they were like (as my flatmate is obsessed with all vegan and gluten free and keeps trying to tempt me - before anyone says anything she isn't a vegan she just likes it!)
Glad to hear I handled it well - my first MN pile-on! It is awful isnt it, when people just hurl abuse. Hopefully we will both never have to ensure it again! Grin
OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 31/12/2020 00:06

Endure* damn autocorrect

OP posts:
RavingAnnie · 31/12/2020 00:15

Vegan chocolate can just be plain chocolate. Which is exactly the same as any other plain chocolate.

Then there is vegan chocolate which is fake milk chocolate which is made with things like rice milk. This does taste a bit different. How nice it is depends on who makes it.

Then there are booja booja truffles which are vegan and gluten free and they taste AMAZING!! I buy them asa treat all the time and I eat dairy.

Perhaps try them first before you discount them.

Wheresmykimchi · 31/12/2020 00:17

@FrostyChocolateMilkshake it's horrible.

Oh I'm sure you will get a few more! But you in your vegan chocolate induced sleep won't care!

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 31/12/2020 00:19

@RavingAnnie I haven't discounted them - in fact I've opened the package and wolfed one of them down (it is a set of 3 brownies with various chocolate toppings) Smile

A lot of people on here have mentioned Booja Booja chocs - I feel I need to buy some of these! They sound incredible.

OP posts:
Idefinatelyhavefriends · 31/12/2020 00:19

I agree with you. I would feel like she was trying to push her values on me and it isn't in the spirit of gift giving.

Notcontent · 31/12/2020 00:24

I am not vegan but have recently been making my diet more plant based and healthier. I used to be quite prejudiced against vegan chocolate but have tried a few brands recently which have been really good.

Doyouavocado · 31/12/2020 00:33

It’s not the same. YABVU

it’s like being bought vegan shower gel, would you not use a that unless it’s been tested on animals??

safariboot · 31/12/2020 00:35

It's far more sensible for her to buy something that she can eat, that she quite probably has eaten and can vouch for. Not something she's never touched.

As an omnivore, I wouldn't bat an eyelid at what is or isn't in them. If they taste good I'll eat, if they taste bad I'll bin, and that could apply just the same to chocolate containing milk and gluten.

Cherrysoup · 31/12/2020 00:41

As a vegan, of course she won’t buy non vegan products, that would go against her principles. Yabu and ridiculous.

Sunbird24 · 31/12/2020 00:53

Ahh @FrostyChocolateMilkshake I think I love you! 🤣 Well done on maintaining your dignity in the face of some blatant batshittery from people who like to comment having only read the original post. Bet you wish you’d just tried the chocolate/brownies before you asked the question on here though!

RavingAnnie · 31/12/2020 01:01

[quote FrostyChocolateMilkshake]@RavingAnnie I haven't discounted them - in fact I've opened the package and wolfed one of them down (it is a set of 3 brownies with various chocolate toppings) Smile

A lot of people on here have mentioned Booja Booja chocs - I feel I need to buy some of these! They sound incredible.[/quote]
Ooo they sound yum!

I'd recommend the midnight espresso booja booja if you are trying them!

Lizzy1980 · 31/12/2020 01:04

Just give them a try. I’m sure they wont be that terrible that they’re inedible. If you don’t like them then fair enough but at least give them a go. I do see your point but it was a gift bought for you with good intentions.
I made a curry recently which my meat eating friend was heartily tucking in to. She asked me what meat it was and as soon as I told her it was a meat substitute she stopped eating it and said she couldn’t eat it as she didn’t like veggie food. She was really enjoying it before she knew