Horrible woman in supermarket

[AnxiousSM]

I’ve just visited our local supermarket, it’s one of the cheaper, rush through at twice the speed of light ones. There was one queue that split into two tills at the end. The woman in front had two items and I had a trolley full. She was waiting to see which would be quicker and holding up the queue. I always join the slowest one as it gives a bit of time to get loaded up. I asked her very politely which till she would be using and she was really horrible, barked at me that it was her choice and I’d have to wait for her as the queue was for both tills.

I have severe anxiety and I almost burst into tears. Is this UR or am I being a wimp? I can’t stop thinking about it?? WTF is wrong with me?

Don’t give a crap sorry. I wouldn’t have been in her face and would have kept as far as I could with a mask but at the end of the day no, I am not waiting whilst there are 2 empty tills and if you have been rude to me after I have asked you politely you get what you deserve

Like I said, absolute dickhead and the reason your country is in such a fucking mess.

I get you entirely OP and you have my sympathy. When you're in Lidl/Aldi by yourself with a trolley full you don't stand a chance of getting everything back in the trolley at the other end unless you've already fully unloaded onto the belt before the checkout operator starts putting it through. I learnt this the hard way one of the first times I shopped in Lidl and the people queuing behind me didn't spare me their loudly muttered rude comments.

I think if you haven't bought a full trolley load at either Lidl or Aldi you might not understand the speed at which they throw everything through and the expectation that you clear the end of the belt immediately. It's really not like Tesco's/Sainsburys/Morrisons/Asda at all.

I'm really surprised people behind you didn't kick off at the woman in front of you if there were two nearly empty belts waiting to be loaded while she waited to see which of the two customers would clear through their checkout first. In my Lidl the checkout process is really cutthroat and people don't tolerate anyone holding the queue up in front of them, which the woman in front of you was clearly doing.

@Littlewhitedove2 that’s quite rude, you’re not entitled to load up your shopping early after all.

You wouldn’t behave that way if it was someone with a trolley full in front of you as it would be their turn to use the till - why does it make a difference if the customer has 2 items? It’s still their turn.

This sort of behaviour is why the Karen meme exists.

@TheSilentStars moral high ground? Really? I’m asking for opinion on whether I was essentially over sensitive and you read that as me feeling I have moral high ground? Projection perhaps?

@AnxiousSM

I really couldn’t have been more polite when asking her. I said excuse me, do you know which till you’d like to use? Nicely and smiling (under my mask).

I would have seen that as you being pushy, I'm afraid. I wouldn't have shouted or barked at you, but would have made it clear that I wouldn't be pushed around and you would have to wait.

Masks do unfortunately hide smiles and a fair bit of other important body language conveyed facially. That cuts two ways though. You can also get away with a good scowl and poking out your tongue behind them when the occasion warrants it, which can be quite therapeutic at times.

[quote Vitaminsss]@Littlewhitedove2 that’s quite rude, you’re not entitled to load up your shopping early after all.

You wouldn’t behave that way if it was someone with a trolley full in front of you as it would be their turn to use the till - why does it make a difference if the customer has 2 items? It’s still their turn.

This sort of behaviour is why the Karen meme exists.[/quote]
It’s their turn but if I have asked politely if I may load my items onto one of the empty tills and they have shouted back at me then no, I’m not taking that- why should I? I would just load on before asking and if they were polite back then it would be different. I am never never rude to people, unless they are rude to me.

bugdecisiontomake I agree with you completely. In my Aldi its always very busy and holding up a double queue like that would be seen as really rude.

Maybe that woman has depression, anxiety or is under a lot of stress and felt under pressure from you? Perhaps she's at home crying now because that was the straw that broke the camel's back?

My point is, we all, sometimes unwittingly, do things that negatively impacts other people. Let it go and be nice.

Nobody would wait while there were empty tills, that would be silly
The point the OP herself makes is both tills were still serving someone. So the "nasty woman" had nowhere to actually go at that point.

@Apollo3

Don’t give a crap sorry. I wouldn’t have been in her face and would have kept as far as I could with a mask but at the end of the day no, I am not waiting whilst there are 2 empty tills and if you have been rude to me after I have asked you politely you get what you deserve

Like I said, absolute dickhead and the reason your country is in such a fucking mess.

It’s really really not my fault we are in this pandemic still. If you think that then there really is no help for you im afraid. Supermarkets are most defiantly not the main source of spread, loading in front of a customer or not!!

@PurpleDaisies

You obviously have no understanding of anxiety *@IamMariahScarey*

How about not making horrible comments coming from a position of such ignorance?

Leave it out. It wasn’t a horrible comment. It was a “ everyone who goes to a supermarket will have to queue at some point” comment. Anxiety, disability, age, colour. None of them have fuck all to do with anything because we are all equal in the queue.

[quote AnxiousSM]@TheSilentStars moral high ground? Really? I’m asking for opinion on whether I was essentially over sensitive and you read that as me feeling I have moral high ground? Projection perhaps?[/quote]
Er, no.
You were the one being unpleasant to the woman simply waiting her turn.

How do you see my behaviour as being unpleasant?

She is rude. Maybe she has issues or she is just a angry rude sad little fuck. I wouldnt give her any more head space.

I normally fill up the entire belt at Aldi ( in pre covid days when I could face it there) people just to wait for me so I wouldnt get upset over the queue behind you either. Shops like that stress me right out.

I had someone have a mini stroke / epileptic fit behind me in their car once as I let I a bus pull out. She was then stuck next to me by the lights. I tend to wonder how it feels to be such a utter cock and live with such anger issues. Must be a sad life for them.

She is on the path for a stroke bless her

In my local Lidl she wouldn’t have been allowed to dilly dally, the staff stand up from their tills and shout at you to move forward and load your shopping.

@Littlewhitedove2

As you get older you learn not to take people’s crap. I would have said excuse me, my I pod my things up onto this till please (pointing to one of the tills) If she said or barked no wait your turn I would have said sorry, please move I am putting my things on here and I would have just gone ahead and done it reaching around her if needs be. I have learnt not to be pushed around by anyone. I am in my 40’s and this confidence and no taking others bs has only come in the last couple of years. Before that I was extremely sensitive and would jump and blush at the slightest thing

Well done you. You've learned to be rude and pushy and ignore social distancing.

Perhaps this woman had anxiety as well around covid and wanted to get out of the shop as quick as possible, or maybe she is vunerable and this is the first time she has been out in months. She has then had someone prompt her into rushing which she has snapped at... I think perhaps I would just think wow what's her problem then move on.

@TheSilentStars
Another projection. Were you the woman in front of me? If not, you can’t possibly know that. You’re just being unpleasant.

As I said I am never rude unless someone is rude to me after I have shown them politeness. I will not be shoved around and spoken to like that

@Littlewhitedove2 what’s the point of asking for permission if just you’re going to do it anyway? The customer in front is allowed to say no.

I think I need to choose an alternative supermarket, one that gives a bit more space and time at the till.

I have anxiety too, and ptsd. I only leave the house alone for school runs.
I won't be alone for any other reason at all,
It's severe.
I understand you being anxious - but I've put myself in her shoes. If she too is anxious, your comment rather than just waiting for her to move, would have set my anxiety off as well.
I hate being in a queue as I hate people being behind me - so honestly the simple request you made would have upset me, and I probably would have reacted the same way she did. Hopefully this gives you perspective over the idea that there are others who are also probably as anxious as yourself.
Be kind to yourself op. I know how hard it is to let things go, try not to dwindle x

YWBU because it was a daft question- she clearly didn't know which till she was going to use, or else she'd have been directing toward it. She took your asking as you trying to get her to shit or get off the pot!

It's really not a big deal though, especially in these strange, strained times. Lots of people would have done the same as you- don't sweat it.

If they had been polite back then that’s different. It’s the op saying they barked back and were rude after she had been polite they got to me. I see it all too often

She perceived you as being rude, who knows, she may be at home talking about how someone snapped at her in the supermarket.

You then perceived her as rude and are telling us she snapped at you.

It really isn't a big deal at all.

Just don't try and rush people in future, you aren't the only person with anxiety, and should be more understanding of others.