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AIBU?

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Original poster

Horrible woman in supermarket

261 replies

AnxiousSM · 30/12/2020 15:21

I’ve just visited our local supermarket, it’s one of the cheaper, rush through at twice the speed of light ones. There was one queue that split into two tills at the end. The woman in front had two items and I had a trolley full. She was waiting to see which would be quicker and holding up the queue. I always join the slowest one as it gives a bit of time to get loaded up. I asked her very politely which till she would be using and she was really horrible, barked at me that it was her choice and I’d have to wait for her as the queue was for both tills.

I have severe anxiety and I almost burst into tears. Is this UR or am I being a wimp? I can’t stop thinking about it?? WTF is wrong with me?

OP posts:
funinthesun19 · 30/12/2020 20:10

I am finding the situation with covid really tough at the moment and I am worried about my elderly parents / job / If DC going back to school next week. This woman really was the last straw. Why are people so impatient? I thought covid was supposed to be making us all kinder....

This woman snapped at me today when I asked her a completely innocent question about which till she was going to use. I wasn’t rude in my manner when I said it.
I am finding the situation with covid really tough at the moment and I am worried about my elderly parents / job / if DC going back to school next week. This woman really was the last straw. Why are people so snappy and rude? I thought covid was supposed to be making us all kinder....

Tessabelle74 · 30/12/2020 20:13

Maybe she also has anxiety and you pushing her to make a choice made her feel worse?

Sometimeswinning · 30/12/2020 20:49

Sorry op. Everyone has anxiety at the lidl/aldi queue! It was her turn, she didn't have to be rude but perhaps that was her state of mind. It was probably embarrassing more than anything. I'm sure half the people there felt awkward for you and the other half didnt care.

Bluntness100 · 30/12/2020 20:57

Op did you think that maybe she had anxiety, that she was worried being in th shop and queueing in the middle of a pandemic, and the last thing she needed was a shopper behind her asking which till she wished to use before one became free? That she was maybe desperate to get out of there and wanted to wait and see which till was fastest?

Everyone has their own issues. Part of be kind is to understand that this impacts everyone, everyone has their own needs, not just you.

Calling her horrible, saying she held people up, ans articulating your own needs and mental health issues, is not being cognisant of
Understanding others also have their needs too

Aloethere · 30/12/2020 20:58

[quote withmycoffee]@Aloethere huh? No need to get snarky. Of course I know how supermarkets work. I also know how distancing works and how to read stickers on the floor that state that you are to stand until the person ahead moves on. It's not hard Love.[/quote]
Well then why would you wait at the end of the belt if it 'isn't hard love' and you know how to read stickers on the floor? When someone is putting their shopping away there is more than enough room for someone to put their shopping on the belt. In fact love you will find there are more than one set of stickers at most belts in aldi and lidl meaning that 2 people can in fact put their food on the belts whilst someone else is putting their shopping away all whilst social distancing! Crazy isn't it! You are the person who was accusing the OP of being rude, when you don't seem to have the foggiest idea of just how long the belts are in aldi and lidl or perhaps you just have no idea of distance, either way you are wrong.

Cam2020 · 30/12/2020 21:00

Sorry you went through this OP.

Went through what? Someone snapping (for whatever reason that might have been)? What next PTSD counselling? Everyone has either snapped or been snapped at. It might not have been pleasant, but seriously Hmm

WingingItSince1973 · 30/12/2020 21:00

In our Aldi there's a queue for each checkout as far as possible. Someone wouldn't stand there with two practically empty conveyor belts waiting to see who paid first with a queue forming behind. I always find a big shop in Aldi stressful but I also always let people through before me if I'm still loading so they don't have to wait for me. Other than that I highly recommend Tesco scan as you shop, packing as you go then a quick scan at checkout out and you leave without any stress and social distancing is easier as I've never queued to pay xx

AndcalloffChristmas · 30/12/2020 21:01

She sounds rude to snap at you, but I feel you also over reacted by being so upset.

SmileyClare · 30/12/2020 21:11

Jeez some people are incredibly anal about the queue system in Aldi. Grin

Is there any instruction if you're new to the store or do you have to hang back like an alien trying to mimic what the seasoned Aldi shoppers do? Asking questions or speaking to anyone may well be met with tuts and impatient retorts so probably best not to make eye contact or try to interact.

The main aim is to get out of the shop in record time and woe beside anything that impedes you?

It sounds hostile as fuck. There's a new Aldi near us and this thread has put me off going.

Sometimeswinning · 30/12/2020 23:27

It sounds hostile as fuck. There's a new Aldi near us and this thread has put me off going.

You ever been to waitrose??

SmileyClare · 30/12/2020 23:44

You ever been to waitrose? I'm hearing this line spoken in an Al Pacino in the Godfather voice

I'm sticking with tesco thanks.

SnuggyBuggy · 31/12/2020 08:49

@SmileyClare

Jeez some people are incredibly anal about the queue system in Aldi. Grin

Is there any instruction if you're new to the store or do you have to hang back like an alien trying to mimic what the seasoned Aldi shoppers do? Asking questions or speaking to anyone may well be met with tuts and impatient retorts so probably best not to make eye contact or try to interact.

The main aim is to get out of the shop in record time and woe beside anything that impedes you?

It sounds hostile as fuck. There's a new Aldi near us and this thread has put me off going.

Give it a chance. The Aldis near me both have the normal unload on to conveyer belt where there is space and use a next customer sign system.
PriscillaChinchilla · 31/12/2020 08:55

I love Aldi and Lidl. I used to frantically try to pack my shopping at the till, until someone told me to chuck everything back in my trolley or basket and then pack at leisure at the provided counters. That's what they're there for.

polarisation · 31/12/2020 11:31

Well I'm bored enough to have made a diagram for all the people who think it was ok for the lady to wait to make her mind up about who could pay for their shopping and leave faster?! Please note the distances are not to scale, and the feet stickers are to show where the rude lady COULD have been standing, if she hadn't been so rude to hold up an entire shop to save herself ~30 seconds, while making OP have to rush to load her entire trolley and pack a whole trolley simultaneously.

Her waiting there wouldn't have been ok at any normal supermarket, definitely not at Lidl/Aldi. Personally I wouldn't have said anything to her because I never speak to anyone I don't have to, but I see why OP did ask, and I think the lady was rude.

Horrible woman in supermarket
SnuggyBuggy · 31/12/2020 12:27

Based on that diagram I'd have probably gone to a conveyer belt and not even noticed the 2 item woman standing in the middle.

VivaMiltonKeynes · 31/12/2020 13:03

@polarisation

Well I'm bored enough to have made a diagram for all the people who think it was ok for the lady to wait to make her mind up about who could pay for their shopping and leave faster?! Please note the distances are not to scale, and the feet stickers are to show where the rude lady COULD have been standing, if she hadn't been so rude to hold up an entire shop to save herself ~30 seconds, while making OP have to rush to load her entire trolley and pack a whole trolley simultaneously.

Her waiting there wouldn't have been ok at any normal supermarket, definitely not at Lidl/Aldi. Personally I wouldn't have said anything to her because I never speak to anyone I don't have to, but I see why OP did ask, and I think the lady was rude.

OMG really ?????
PriscillaChinchilla · 31/12/2020 13:11

I regard myself as a visual learner, so I quite like that diagram...

joell75 · 31/12/2020 13:41

OP, her behaviour was ridiculous. Two or three people could have had their stuff loaded on to the belts at that point. I'm pretty sure the cashiers would have been equally bewildered. I would have asked the question too.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 31/12/2020 14:32

@polarisation - that diagram is excellent!!

LaceyBetty · 31/12/2020 14:34

That's exactly what I envisioned. You were definitely not being unreasonable OP.

LaceyBetty · 31/12/2020 14:35

In fact, you were polite to ask. I would have just picked one and got on with it.

DarthKaren · 31/12/2020 17:44

You are a wimp and need to toughen up

It’s a supermarket this behaviour is standard

BrainAyche · 31/12/2020 18:54

I understood the OP to be similar to polarisation's beautiful diagram. If there was any space on either of the conveyor belts that the woman in front could have been placing her shopping on then you are absolutely NBU to ask which she intended to use (and politely give her a nudge to get on with it so as not to hold everyone up.) As you said she was holding everyone up I assume this is the case and I'm surprised so many said YWBU.

I empathise with the anxiety over this, you have to be at the end packing grabbing every item and lobbing it in your trolly as soon as the checkout persons scans it so as not to hold everyone up and run out of space, it's the way it is in Lidl/Aldi and honestly I kind of prefer to do it this way, get away from everyone quickly, then take my time orderly packing at the big packing shelf at the end

If there was no free space for grumpy lady to place her couple of items and you were bugging her about where she might go, then YWBU

withmycoffee · 31/12/2020 19:07

@polarisation

Well I'm bored enough to have made a diagram for all the people who think it was ok for the lady to wait to make her mind up about who could pay for their shopping and leave faster?! Please note the distances are not to scale, and the feet stickers are to show where the rude lady COULD have been standing, if she hadn't been so rude to hold up an entire shop to save herself ~30 seconds, while making OP have to rush to load her entire trolley and pack a whole trolley simultaneously.

Her waiting there wouldn't have been ok at any normal supermarket, definitely not at Lidl/Aldi. Personally I wouldn't have said anything to her because I never speak to anyone I don't have to, but I see why OP did ask, and I think the lady was rude.

drawing a diagram from your head that even you admit is not to scale is not very helpful.In every supermarket I have ever been to, no one paying stands off past the end of the belt like you have shown. They stand where the blue sticker is- 3/4 along the belt. Drawing something unrealistic and then using it to 'prove' a point is weird
withmycoffee · 31/12/2020 19:09

I think we must all go to very different supermarkets because no cashier is seated at the very end of the counter/belt thing either. They are seated sort of in the middle. Goods are in front of them and they push them behind them. In the diagram. there is no space behind them for items to go