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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed in the toys aimed at girls?

217 replies

FrostedCranberries · 30/12/2020 13:12

My DD has a birthday coming up and shopping around for something aimed at her age group (5) I'm not very impressed.

Lego for girls is all in pink, Frozen or Troll themed. Theres makeup sets full of glitter and lipstick, LOL, bakery sets, hair dressing and baby crap. These are all toys in the aisle for girls.

The boys however have a choice of logical games, exciting Lego (police, vehicles and superheroes), coding games, building blocks, maths and science kits. Everything to get them ahead academically.

Why is this ok? And why isn't anyone doing anything about this? Are people really ok with raising their daughters to look pretty and be mummy first, whilst boys get a head start in problem solving leaving the girls to fall behind further perpetuating the stereotype that females are emotional and not logical?

I wanted to get her a lego police car to add to her box of legos but I felt a bit apprehensive as I wouldn't want her to not feel like she fits in with all the other girls.

OP posts:
GrouchyKiwi · 30/12/2020 13:16

You are being both reasonable and unreasonable.

The gendering of toys is nonsensical.

But just get her something you think she'd like, never mind about what other people think.

My girls have a mix of the Creative Lego sets (which are generic) and Lego Friends. They have a lot of fun with them. They have cars and building blocks and kitchen toys and dolls, just a good mix of toys. That's what children need.

ChazP · 30/12/2020 13:16

Have always just bought my daughter what I think she’ll enjoy playing with. Hot Wheels sets, Lego city etc, whatever she’s interested in. One of my favourite photos of her was on her 3rd birthday when she was wearing a Rapunzel princess dress but brandishing a Bob the Builder drill.

Might be worth checking out playmobil. They’re generally very gender non-specific.

JingleCatJingle · 30/12/2020 13:16

Just buy the toys you want for your 5 year old. Lego for girls is not all pink, buy her a box of mixed bricks.
There are definitely coding and logical games for girls.
This is a good site:
www.amightygirl.com/

NannyR · 30/12/2020 13:17

There's no reason why you can't buy any of those things you've labelled as boys toys for a girl, they are just toys that can be enjoyed by any child. Buy the police car if you think she would like it.

MamaTookMyEyebrows · 30/12/2020 13:17

Why would you be worried about buying her a police car?!

That’s on you.

AlwaysCheddar · 30/12/2020 13:18

You’re being silly. Just buy normal Lego.... planes, cars etc.

SendHelp30 · 30/12/2020 13:18

Lego for girls? Just buy Lego? My daughter has lots of Lego city stuff.

CrotchBurn · 30/12/2020 13:18

This discussion has been done to death. Buy your kid whatever she prefers, from whatever aisle

Ifailed · 30/12/2020 13:19

Children don't label girl's or boy's toys, adults do.

SendHelp30 · 30/12/2020 13:19

Just buy the police lego car? I don’t know why this would be an issue. You’re finding problems where there aren’t any. My DD got a science lab kit for Christmas and loves it.
She also got perfume & bath bomb kits which she also loves. It’s all science type stuff so what’s the issue?

TheTrashBagIsOursCmonTrashBag · 30/12/2020 13:20

The marketing of certain toys towards one gender is annoying but there’s no laws saying girls are only allowed to play with LOL dolls or the Lego friends sets. There’s no laws saying boys can’t play with that stuff either. And vice versa.

Lazypuppy · 30/12/2020 13:20

YABU just buy her what she will like! I buy my daughter stuff from the 'boys section'.

I don't mind the boys/girls section as i find it easier to find what i am looking for. If i want dinosaurs, i head to the boys bit, and if i want trolls its in the girls section.

maybebe · 30/12/2020 13:21

I get what the OP is saying. Of course she can and I'm sure she will, buy what her daughter would enjoy be that cars or dolls or coding or trolls.

The point is that the marketing and branding IS (often) gender specific and that's what continues to be disappointing.

fastwigglylines · 30/12/2020 13:21

Let Toys Be Toys campaigns on this. (They started on Mumsnet).

www.lettoysbetoys.org.uk/

Thesearmsofmine · 30/12/2020 13:21

I have never seen Lego formgirls? Where does it say that on the box? We have Lego of all colours and types, we also have pink dolls pushchair and highhair, bakery sets etc. I have 3 boys.

NerrSnerr · 30/12/2020 13:22

I have a 6 year old. She isn't into 'girly' things. For Christmas she got board games (battleships, bugs in the kitchen etc), a ramp for her scooter, skateboard and some Lego (she likes the Lego City stuff). She has 2 female best friends, one is massively into LOL dolls so imagine got some of those, the other is really into sewing so I imagine got sewing gifts.

None of them care. For her birthday her friends chose to buy her superhero related stuff, she chooses to buy them things she thinks they like. They're all different and none of them feel like they don't fit in with anyone else.

Just get her what you think she would like.

endofthelinefinally · 30/12/2020 13:22

"Why is this?"
Because there is currently a massive push to enforce gender stereotypes from a very young age.
We should all be resisting this and telling our DC that they can wear whatever they like, play with whatever toys they like and that gender stereotypes are limiting and regressive.

PatchworkElmer · 30/12/2020 13:22

I’ve voted YABU because although I agree that gendered toys are ridiculous, you’re buying into it by worrying about getting her a ‘boy’ toy. What do you want- a pink police car? Just buy what you think she’d enjoy.

fastwigglylines · 30/12/2020 13:23

@Ifailed

Children don't label girl's or boy's toys, adults do.
Yes, but children pick up on messages from adults, including from advertising, and this makes a difference to how they see the world, and themselves.
JingleCatJingle · 30/12/2020 13:24

This Lego balloon set www.lego.com/en-gb/product/tiger-hot-air-balloon-jungle-rescue-41423
Lego friends hospital!
www.lego.com/en-gb/product/heartlake-city-hospital-41394
Lego City is a bit hit and miss at the moment but this www.lego.com/en-gb/product/downtown-fire-brigade-60216 looks fab

QuantumJump · 30/12/2020 13:24

I agree with you OP - it's really annoying. As others have said you are free to ignore it, but why should you have to ignore it? Why is it that way in the first place?

It makes me really cross Angry

Jijithecat · 30/12/2020 13:25

I think this is as much to do with your perception as anything else. You buy the toys you think your child will play with and enjoy irrespective of their sex.
Lego is probably the broadest product range I can think of. If you think your DD would enjoy a police car buy it for her. Afterall we've had female police officers in the UK since 1914.

PlanDeRaccordement · 30/12/2020 13:26

YANBU that toys gendered for girls are depressing.
But YABU to buy into the gendering of toys and think you have to obey it. Buy your DD the exciting “boy toys”. I raised my DC with the concept there are no girl toys and boy toys, there are just toys. So my DS had a baby doll when he was five with a push chair because he wanted to play at being a father. My DD has pirate and lord of rings Legos and most everything else in blue as that is her favourite colour.
They all benefitted from this approach.

JingleCatJingle · 30/12/2020 13:26

My sons have Lego Friends sets and Lego Elves. Some of the builds, figures and dragons are very interesting.
Unless they operate the toy with their genitals (in which case it is not a child’s toy) then don’t worry about it.

44PumpLane · 30/12/2020 13:27

YABU.... Toys are toys, buy her what you think she will like! Who cares what the aisle says.

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