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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be disappointed in the toys aimed at girls?

217 replies

FrostedCranberries · 30/12/2020 13:12

My DD has a birthday coming up and shopping around for something aimed at her age group (5) I'm not very impressed.

Lego for girls is all in pink, Frozen or Troll themed. Theres makeup sets full of glitter and lipstick, LOL, bakery sets, hair dressing and baby crap. These are all toys in the aisle for girls.

The boys however have a choice of logical games, exciting Lego (police, vehicles and superheroes), coding games, building blocks, maths and science kits. Everything to get them ahead academically.

Why is this ok? And why isn't anyone doing anything about this? Are people really ok with raising their daughters to look pretty and be mummy first, whilst boys get a head start in problem solving leaving the girls to fall behind further perpetuating the stereotype that females are emotional and not logical?

I wanted to get her a lego police car to add to her box of legos but I felt a bit apprehensive as I wouldn't want her to not feel like she fits in with all the other girls.

OP posts:
StopSquirtingBleachOnCaneToads · 30/12/2020 13:44

The toys are just the way they are. You have decided on your own which are for girls and which are for boys. Stop thinking so rigidly. Choose the ones she would like best. They aren't going to stop you buying police car Lego because "boys only".

NannyR · 30/12/2020 13:45

I do think that Lego friends is obviously marketed towards girls - they do some great sets though, like the hospital, shops, cafes etc. I wish they would do the same sort of detailed models under the Lego city brand, without the pink, purple and turquoise colour scheme and with normal minifigs, rather than the "friends".

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 30/12/2020 13:45

Buy what they like. Ignore gendering.

DD age 5 got lots of rescue riders dragons and more brio. Alongside hatchimals and an lol doll that looks like a stripper.

Currently the hatchimals are in a train about to fall off the bridge being rescued by dragons.

Any second now I'm expecting giant stripper lol to appear to further terrorise the hatchimal passengers.

lyinginthegutterstaringatstars · 30/12/2020 13:46

Yabu just give your kid whatever she likes. As moo op st of us do.

BrieAndChilli · 30/12/2020 13:47

It does drive me mad that now if you want to buy a toy till you have to buy a pink or a blue version when really what you want is a neutral one that can be passed down all the kids. But companies wouldn’t sell it if they weren’t making money. I assume if they sold a blue pram and a pink pram and a black pram the pink outsold by many gold so that’s what they now sell.
But my youngest had some Lego friends Lego as he wanted the little animals that came in some of the sets. Likewise DD had has had and played with boys stuff. Eldest DS had a little pink scarf and a little pink doll when he was 2.
Toys are toys and there are plenty of non gendered toys out there. I’ve never had a problem. Yes the boys loved the ‘typical’ Thomas tank toys and DD played too and wanted the ‘pink’ Rosie train stuff to go with it. It all got mixed together.
I stick to classical versions of board games rather than going for ‘themed’ versions like trolls guess who but that’s more so that the game can be played long after the ‘fad’ of the theme has passed out of favour.

Skysblue · 30/12/2020 13:47

Just buy her what you think is good and don’t worry about which aisle some sexist shop put it in.

It’s just as bad the other way. (My son adores fluffy animals, pink and sparkle.) But worse is when we went coat shopping and the girls coats were all made from soft cosy fabric and the boys coats were rougher less comfy fabric. I experimented with buying some girls tops but they’re tight cut on the chest compared to boys stuff. 🤢 I do buy the girls school uniform trousers tho as they are way softer and more comfy. Is ridiculous that there are gender labels on stuff for very young kids but the biggest problem is people who buy what the shop tells them instead of questioning it. Which is why so many little girls don’t have comfy shoes.

lyinginthegutterstaringatstars · 30/12/2020 13:48

@lyinginthegutterstaringatstars

Yabu just give your kid whatever she likes. As moo op st of us do.
😂 should read 'as most of us do'
Iggly · 30/12/2020 13:48

Just buy what she likes. If she likes Lego city then buy Lego city.

TheSunIs · 30/12/2020 13:49

YANBU for disliking the type of toys often marketed at girls. YABU for worrying about buying something for 'boys'. My daughter recently turned 5, we have a huge mix of things as she's into everything really. She got a Lego friends warehouse, not because it is a 'girls' set but because she likes treehouses. She also got some hot wheels cars. I recommend looking at playmobil too, there's lots of great sets.

TheSunIs · 30/12/2020 13:50

Tree house, not warehouse!

Ilovemaisie · 30/12/2020 13:50

The fire chief in Lego City is a female called Freya. Does that make it a 'girls' toy?

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 30/12/2020 13:50

The Lego company is basically organised into 'with Lego figures' and 'without Lego characters' Lego friends is in without characters so managed by a totally different team. They commission work on girls toys and how girls play. The team with Lego characters do research on how boys play.

They really think there's a difference. It's sad.

And remains even though the head of marketing is a woman. ☹️

CrazyToast · 30/12/2020 13:50

YANBU to be annoyed that all 'girl's toys' are pink glitter nonsense.

YABU to go along with that and not just buy her what you think she would like, regardless of marketed gender. Don't feed into the stereotypes by going along with them. That is why the shops still do this, cos people buy into it- literally.

Check out Pink Stink and Let Toys be Toys for campaigns against this stuff.

Generalblah · 30/12/2020 13:51

You are worrying about boys being given a headstart? Just to throw a spanner in herr, girls are easier to each than boys (on the whole) and their handwriting is also much better than the majority of boys. You are being really sensitive and thinking far too into this than need be. Buy whatever you think she’d like, no one is going to question you and stop you are they?

BeetleRadio · 30/12/2020 13:51

It annoys me going down the "boy" isle and seeing a crazy assortment weapons which are never in the "girl" isle bar the occasional nerf gun. I don't allow weapons but the isle does enforce the idea that my male children should be playing with them. Luckily I know that I can buy them whatever I like regardless of the isle it came from and it's not a massive deal. But it's definitely a minor irritation of mine.

Generalblah · 30/12/2020 13:51

Teach* not each

Jollibeezus · 30/12/2020 13:53

Just buy her the ‘boy’ stuff. I always had non-girly Lego, mechano, chemistry sets etc growing up. I would build Lego houses for my Polly pocket dolls haha.

I would also advise chilling out. There is lots about raising a child that will anger you, toys are the least of it tbh

IamMariahScarey · 30/12/2020 13:54

How dramatic. Jesus Christ buy the police Lego and a science kit 🙄🙄🙄

Camomila · 30/12/2020 13:54

DS1 always admires the lego friends sets (he'd really like a lego dolls house - maybe next year, they all say 6+)

He is also a fan of anything with a mermaid on it.

I think toys shouldn't be gendered and DC should just play with a mix of stuff they like - in DSs case lego, anything transport based, the toy kitchen, and mermaids for the bath.

"Boyish" dinosaurs used to really scare him, bit annoying when all the wellies and coats were either plain or dinosaur patterned.

Mousehole10 · 30/12/2020 13:55

Just buy the toys you want? Stop looking at ‘girl’ and ‘boy’ isles and just go to the one which has the best toys. My baby doesn’t have any ‘girl’ toys, she just has toys. Some are pink, some blue, some multicoloured, some dinosaurs. Doesn’t really matter to me as long as she likes it!

CallMeThePooPatrol · 30/12/2020 13:57

I do & don’t agree. I think you’re right in that companies obviously aim certain toys at certain genders. But you can easily rebel against it & just buy what you want!

I’ve been frustrated trying to buy my son a simple baby doll. They’re all pink. I really wanted a different colour, just to differentiate it from his sisters clueless pink baby dolls.

Thingsthatgo · 30/12/2020 13:58

Why does she have to fit in with the other girls... this is where you are being unreasonable. I avoided buying any pink or girlie toys for my dd because I dislike them. She is 6 now, and went through a phase of asking for princess stuff when she started reception at school, but now she prefers her Vet kit.

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 30/12/2020 13:58

@stayathomer

Try having a boy that enjoys arts and crafts- it definitely cuts both ways- same with teddies, there's much less out there for boys. It's an even problem that would be easily solved but they wont do it!
What??? I've heard it all now. Teddies are teddies. How the fuck are there less for boys than girls? I wish there were. Then maybe my 14 year old (ds) wouldn't own over 100 of the damn things.
Oysterbabe · 30/12/2020 13:58

You are creating this problem. My DD turns 5 tomorrow and she's got a bike, a playmobil ambulance, kinetic sand, a marble run as well as some hair accessories and beads for jewelry making. It wouldn't occur to me to not buy a toy because it's in the 'boy' aisle.

ComDummings · 30/12/2020 13:58

Buy her what she will like, you’re being silly. My DD was running around in a princess dress this morning while carrying a light saber and a baby doll in a handbag. She put on some makeup (I don’t mind her putting it on in the house) and then built some Star Wars Lego before chasing her brother around with a nerf gun. Pink girly things are not ‘bad’ and it’s OK for all children to like what they like 🤷🏻‍♀️