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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disappointed in the toys aimed at girls?

217 replies

FrostedCranberries · 30/12/2020 13:12

My DD has a birthday coming up and shopping around for something aimed at her age group (5) I'm not very impressed.

Lego for girls is all in pink, Frozen or Troll themed. Theres makeup sets full of glitter and lipstick, LOL, bakery sets, hair dressing and baby crap. These are all toys in the aisle for girls.

The boys however have a choice of logical games, exciting Lego (police, vehicles and superheroes), coding games, building blocks, maths and science kits. Everything to get them ahead academically.

Why is this ok? And why isn't anyone doing anything about this? Are people really ok with raising their daughters to look pretty and be mummy first, whilst boys get a head start in problem solving leaving the girls to fall behind further perpetuating the stereotype that females are emotional and not logical?

I wanted to get her a lego police car to add to her box of legos but I felt a bit apprehensive as I wouldn't want her to not feel like she fits in with all the other girls.

OP posts:
stayathomer · 30/12/2020 14:44

Reggiecat I know, it's such a pity!!

doasitell · 30/12/2020 14:45

I buy my son what I think he might enjoy playing with for instance a toy kitchen and he loves it. Pink hoover and loves it, a pushchair and he loves it. He loves playing with his cleaning trolley as well as his supermarket checkout. He got a airport for Xmas and he just smashed it and got a DIY tool stand and smashed it too. We have so many choices and it's up to the parents how they would want their children to play and enhance their imagination. Children play with whatever. My friends daughter was obsessed with dinosaurs and she happily plays with it, I haven't seen pink dinosaurs but it doesn't stop her from playing with it or with toy cars. I was brought up with Barbie dolls and today I'm an engineer so it really doesn't make a difference.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 30/12/2020 14:48

Ilovemaisie

You can keep them 😄. I do regularly have to rescue mini dolls from the footwell of my VW campervan though.

newyearisnewtome · 30/12/2020 14:49

Have LEGO said that the pink LEGO is for girls? Surely it's for anybody who wants to buy it for a girl or boy. I think the issue is your personal approach to toys, not the shops themselves. YABU

Ilovemaisie · 30/12/2020 14:50

pursuedbyablackdog there is a new Lego Mag called Lego Explorer which is more about educational STEM based activities and facts than the other Lego magazines. Comes with a polybag each issue that is connected with that issues theme. Issue 3 is out at the moment (theme is Medieval Life). I think next month is Nature and comes with a frog !!

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 30/12/2020 14:50

Ah ok. Although DS2s favourite "teddy" was always his pink bunny!

Ilovemaisie · 30/12/2020 14:51

whatsnewpussyhat I thankfully only have one Bellville figure. She lives in a box where I don't have to see her Grin

RozHuntleysStump · 30/12/2020 14:54

Never understood the fuss made about this. Just buy what suits your child?! My older two were probably more 'traditional' in their likes but my youngest loved toy kitchen/dolly etc.

It's like people are looking for something to get all het up about. Get a bloody grip.

thegreylady · 30/12/2020 15:04

Look at Playmobil there are lots of great sets which appeal to all. Children, camper van, farm, school, fairies (not pink) and lots of other stuff.

TheKeatingFive · 30/12/2020 15:07

OP, are you prevented from buying her toys from certain aisles? Of course you aren’t. Buy what you want, it’s really not an issue.

DS1, who gravitates towards traditionally male interests most of the time loves Lego friends. There are lots of cool pieces that you don’t get in other sets. I’m fond of it myself, actually.

misskatamari · 30/12/2020 15:08

Yes the marketing of it is infuriating. However you're being unreasonable if you let that influence your decisions on what you choose to buy for her. If you want to get her a Lego police car...get her a lego police car.

We're raising our kids to know that there is no such things as girls or boys toys or colours or clothes etc. They know that they might encounter people who think those things, but we're trying to raise them to know that we don't agree with those ideas and to feel confident in liking what they like.

Let clothes be clothes abs let toys be toys have been campaigning about this for years. There seems to be some progress from some retailers. It is depressingly slow coming alas.

We just choose to ignore, and if my little boy wants glittery toy and a tutu and dd wants a lego car, that's fine. Same goes for if they enjoy things more stereotypically associated with their sex. Don't pay attention to the advertisers bollocks and teach your kids to be confident in themselves and their interests

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 30/12/2020 15:10

You don't have to buy from girls aisle , just buy what she likes
Books, puzzles , games are aimed at both anyway and will be plenty of problem solving
There is no law saying you must bit from girls aisle only ffs

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 30/12/2020 15:15

People make such a thing other this now and fall over themselves trying to be non gender etc , just but what your kids like. Lots of girls like the pink and glittery stuff so please don't put girls down over this as that is way worse , which some are doing
Kids like different toys and surely you know your own child well enough to know what they would and wouldn't like
Why do people feel they need to change the world when buying a toy for there own child

TableFlowerss · 30/12/2020 15:17

Buy her the stuff aimed at boys then? What does it matter..... they can play with whatever they want whether it’s pink and glittery or brown and green? Who cares

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 30/12/2020 15:20

Also if someone prefers to but a pink bike for their daughter , thats also their choice or only but there ds cars also there choice as a parent
We don't all have to conform to how everyone else thinks or brings up their children , we as parents can bring out children up the way we see fit , others need to stop looking down on people who do it different and just get on with raising their children

Livebyfaithnotsight · 30/12/2020 15:24

For Christmas I bought my dd (5) a space rocket and space scratch art set for some of her presents, she wants to be an astronaut when she's older . The space rocket was in the boys aisle but it's what she wanted . It would be nice if toys like this were included in the girls aisle but if not I've got no problem buying it from the boys.

stuffedforchristmas · 30/12/2020 15:27

It's awful, isn't it. I have never bought my girls toys from the girls section (bar unicorns). However I have bought my boys toys from the girls section. It's every bit as bad as you say.

stuffedforchristmas · 30/12/2020 15:29

You do tend to find that boys and girls gravitate to typically gendered toys anyway because of their evolutionary biological roles

Bollocks

DdraigGoch · 30/12/2020 15:30

YABU. If you are refusing to buy a police car "because it is a boy's toy" then you are part of the problem. If your daughter wants to play cops and robbers (there's even a female burglar in one set) then get her the police car. If she wants to play happy families then get her the family home or the camper van. If she wants to play pirates then get her the pirate ship. If she wants to play trains then give Wonga.com a call and buy the Cargo Train (n.b. I'm not suggesting that payday lenders are a sensible solution to the issue of expensive birthday presents). LEGO seem to have made a conscious effort in recent years to include a good balance of female minifigures in the city sets.

Friends is aimed at the 'girl' market but that was because market research found that more realistic proportions sold better with girls than the short/fat/boxy minifigures. That doesn't mean that you can't buy your daughter a City police car or Creator Toy Store.

BestZebbie · 30/12/2020 15:35

You are definitely allowed to buy your DD a police car - she’d even be allowed to drive a real police car for her career one day! Or teach men how to drive one properly on skid pans!

grey12 · 30/12/2020 15:41

Waterstones has good things :)) They sell a brand called Djeco which has very good puzzle and game stuff. And have lots of things related to books (like the witch and dragon from Room on the Broom) Wink

Longtalljosie · 30/12/2020 15:41

If I was starting again with Lego (which is quite aggressively gendered, no point pretending otherwise) I’d go on eBay and buy a fuck-ton of bricks / windows / roof tiles / big green base plates second hand and get the DDs building what they fancy. The kits are all very well but they’re designed to keep you buying...

Guineapig99 · 30/12/2020 16:08

Pink fucking ‘friends’ Lego gives me the rage, so don’t buy it. Get the basic Lego sets or Lego city etc. Our DD has all sorts of Lego including Wonderwoman, general sets, City Harry Potter.
Just get your kid a police kit.

seven201 · 30/12/2020 16:13

Just buy her what you think she'll like. In my 4 year old dd's dressing up box you'll find knight armour, a dragon, power rangers, Batman and a witch. She's never asked for a princess dress but I'd get her one if she wanted one. She doesn't have any siblings to copy off.

Guineapig99 · 30/12/2020 16:14

‘ You do tend to find that boys and girls gravitate to typically gendered toys anyway because of their evolutionary biological roles’

Christ, you’re one of those...