To be disappointed in the toys aimed at girls?

[FrostedCranberries]

My DD has a birthday coming up and shopping around for something aimed at her age group (5) I'm not very impressed.

Lego for girls is all in pink, Frozen or Troll themed. Theres makeup sets full of glitter and lipstick, LOL, bakery sets, hair dressing and baby crap. These are all toys in the aisle for girls.

The boys however have a choice of logical games, exciting Lego (police, vehicles and superheroes), coding games, building blocks, maths and science kits. Everything to get them ahead academically.

Why is this ok? And why isn't anyone doing anything about this? Are people really ok with raising their daughters to look pretty and be mummy first, whilst boys get a head start in problem solving leaving the girls to fall behind further perpetuating the stereotype that females are emotional and not logical?

I wanted to get her a lego police car to add to her box of legos but I felt a bit apprehensive as I wouldn't want her to not feel like she fits in with all the other girls.

Blimey op I was with you until you said you were worried about your dd fitting in if you bought her police car Lego 🙄

My dd had the huge pirate Lego ship for her 5th bday, she absolutely loved it and actually rebuilt it again recently (she's 14 now!!)

What on Earth are you teaching your dd about being a girl if you think buying her Lego that's not pink is not acceptable.

Stuff like this is so depressing.

Thing is, a depressing number of people do think girls will shrivel up and die if not covered in pink glitter at all times. It’s ridiculous.

My DSD is pinkified to a depressing degree by every other adult in her life. She’s interested in playing minecraft so I picked up some minecraft Lego for her at Christmas. DH’s response was ‘it’s not very girly is it?’ 🤦🏻‍♀️ I had to persuade him that she would like it because she likes Minecraft. It doesn’t have to come in a purple box and have unicorns in it to be suitable for a 7 year old girl.

If I ever point out that, for example, flimsy, sparkly shoes are not a good choice for going to the nature reserve to climb trees, I get a response like ‘but she’s a little girl’. 🙄 I’ve started responding with things like ‘well she’ll be a little girl standing watching everyone else have fun unless she’s got on footwear that lets her join in, won’t she?’.

I was so, so glad that DS3 was a boy because I was exhausted at even the thought of fighting against this crap if I had a daughter. I’m still going to fight against boy stereotype nonsense, but at least I’ll never have to have an argument so that he can have practical footwear on.

Call me you can get baby dolls not dressed in pink in Argos, Wilkos, John Lewis, B+M, The Entertainer and probably every other retailer that sells toys. They aren't hard to find.

Also I see 'boy themed' craft sets everywhere. I do wonder where some people shop.

Yanbu in that the gendered toys are shite

But

There are LOADS of very neutral toys available. I buy mainly the lego sets in yellow boxes, those are totally neutral and allow tons of free play as they have a very varied selection of pieces. Then there are tons of neutral toys like kids cameras and music players, games, craft & science sets.

If people don't buy the pink crap the companies will stop making it.

I agree with you OP. I was looking for a toy hoover for my little boy once and 90% of the products I found were pink and had specifically girls on the packaging

This is balls, where are you shopping?

Everyone I know has the same toy hoover - the imitation Dyson which is silver & yellow exactly like the real thing. Ds has it.

I do think the aisles of pink shit for girls are particularly prevalent in the very cheapest shops its true - the b&m type & pound shop type places.

Also anyone struggling to find varied craft stuff clearly needs to hit baker Ross. They have so much great stuff in a range of themes.

@maybebe

I get what the OP is saying. Of course she can and I'm sure she will, buy what her daughter would enjoy be that cars or dolls or coding or trolls.

The point is that the marketing and branding IS (often) gender specific and that's what continues to be disappointing.

This

I do think the marketing and branding are gender specific for a reason though. A lot people sadly do, on a basic level, buy pink stuff for girls and blue stuff for boys so the companies will continue to market it as such as that's likely what their market research indicates.

I always went for the boys toys as they were more interesting and it is very sad that it is that way even these days. I really disliked the colour pink as a child (I actually love it now as an adult but everything was like horses/ponies and pink especially the lego sets) and playing Mum with a baby doll and kitchen crap unless it was actually real baking with my Mum. Boys toys seem to be overwhelming more engaging to the brain, e.g science and engineering and/or building sets. Apart from my favourite toy (80's child here) BOGLINS! So adorable to me and wished I had kept some. I even had a glow in the dark one which my Sister thought was gross most prized possession of 6 year old self lol.

You dont have to buy pink do you? Buy her a lego fire engine. But let others have their choice too.

I felt like you once OP, even to the extent of dressing my DD in her brother's bodysuit and clothes as a baby. But it turns out no matter how I encourage her, my DD is not attracted to stereotypical boys toys, with only a passing interest in DS' lego etc (plays with it very differently) and is utterly obsessed with frilly dressy stuff to the extent she throws a tantrum for having to wear trousers/shorts in her PE kit.

Buy her the lego if you wish, build with her. She might enjoy it she might not, I dont think you can dictate nature.

It doesn't have to be all be or nothing. I grew up with a sister and a toybox of dolls and dressing up clothes, but also the Railway stories and loads of Lego. I'm now an engineer for my job but I have plenty of more traditional feminine interests too. Lego is brilliant.

Reminds me of this. rebeccahains.com/2014/12/23/lego-friends-comic-goes-viral-an-interview-with-illustrator-maritsa-patrinos/

The pink toy fetish is crazy. It’s just a marketing scam but the public have lapped it up.

But the good toys regardless of what aisle they are in.

For those who say Lego has become genderised towards boys, I think the opposite. DH grew up with lego and we still have the vintage lego sets (complete with instructions). They were all space ship, cars, planes, knights castles etc. The colourful blocks which you can build anything out of still exist! My DS has lots of classic boxes but he also builds anything out of the pieces that come in a "set".

Nowadays you have lego friends and lego disney stuff. I totally disagree with the way Lego genderised these sets using pink white purple packaging. However in my own experience, some girls are simply not interested in police cars or dinosaurs. My two neices got into lego because of the friends/princess/frozen sets. At least they get do build lego this way, otherwise it's barbie and unicorn for them.

Agree with OP, I don't like the pink isles in the toy store. I tried not to get those pink plastic stuff for my neices but after years of trying, I realise their favourites were the my little pony, unicorns, disney dolls and barbie stuff. Even Sylvanian families don't have appeal to them.

At the end of the day, just get what your child likes. My DS happily plays shop/cooking and likes pushing his toy dragon around in a pram. If your daughter likes police car, get her one. I, on the other hand, buy very girly stuff for my neices because they don't seem to be interested in anything else.