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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband ignoring me

227 replies

Cos12345 · 29/12/2020 19:56

So my husband got very drunk boxing day night, with dd and two stepsons.
I went to bed they were so noisy I slept in spare room, they then drunkenly couldn't find me at half two so d called family and friends but didn't look in house for me
Next morning noone is talking to me, kitchen and house is a mess with bottles and food. Someone has thrown up in sink, still we are on day three of no talking dh is sleeping on sofa and I'm.uoset ! should I apologise!

OP posts:
Gncq · 29/12/2020 20:11

Eh?
You haven't done anything, leave them to sulk. I don't get why a grown man is sulking because his wife wanted to rest after doing Christmas, not get drunk to the point of throwing up.

Just walk around humming and put music on. Do your nails (waft the smell around). Go for a nice walk.

NatureNeverRushes · 29/12/2020 20:11

Good God. How dare they treat you so disrespectfully. I would be having words, more so about the silent treatment, which I consider a form of emotional abuse.

But apologise? No.

Gncq · 29/12/2020 20:12

Well, don't go for a walk right now it's dark and freezing, just generally.

Mummypigisalwaysright · 29/12/2020 20:12

Op you have mug written all over your forehead. DO NOT apologise. Let him sleep on the sofa until he apologises. And don't talk to your daughter either. She doesn't control your life.

HollyGenneroMcClane · 29/12/2020 20:13

Op, run away from it all. Follow your instinct. Ignoring you is an abusers tactic. Fuck them all.

Mummypigisalwaysright · 29/12/2020 20:13

Yes op I can see why you'd want to run. Sometimes I think we all need to trust our instincts...

Mummypigisalwaysright · 29/12/2020 20:15

Just a thought, but your daughter has learnt this behaviour from your husband hasn't she? And I'm guessing you always give in and apologise so she knows this is how to get to you...

Original poster
Cos12345 · 29/12/2020 20:16

It's shit when it happens especially at this time of year. I had to make excuses at lunch with my dear dad today, but then I thought nope I'm gonna tell the truth it's because he is sulking.
I'm not unkind and I feel bad he's in the sofa but it's just ridiculous at 50 years old!

OP posts:
Godimabitch · 29/12/2020 20:17

"I'm sorry that you all got drunk, acted like idiots, threw up and left me to clean up after you. Will you stop sulking and ignoring me now?"

Original poster
Cos12345 · 29/12/2020 20:18

She's manipulative and always gets him inside even though he's stepdad
She stirs the trouble up and knows what hurts. Me

OP posts:
Original poster
Cos12345 · 29/12/2020 20:19

Godimabitch that's the best reply! I'm going to use that !

OP posts:
Original poster
Cos12345 · 29/12/2020 20:21

Feel like I should go downstairs now and try it

OP posts:
1FootInTheRave · 29/12/2020 20:25

Are you called Cinderella?

Actually, she probably had a better deal tbf.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 29/12/2020 20:26

What @Godimabitch said. They are awful.
I would have taken pix of the mess esp the sick in the sink and put it on the family whatsapp
You can't argue with or minimise photographic evidence.

CoronaIsWatching · 29/12/2020 20:30

Sounds like we're not being told the whole story

katy1213 · 29/12/2020 20:32

What a vile family. Maybe start looking for a little flat of your own and leave them to it? Meanwhile, the sofa is the best place - you don't actually want to sleep with him, do you?

Ilovenewyear · 29/12/2020 20:33

They sound really unpleasant. OP you have nothing to apologise for.
New year new life?

Original poster
Cos12345 · 29/12/2020 20:37

Coronalswatching
It is the whole story 😔

OP posts:
GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 29/12/2020 20:39

Honestly @Cos12345 I'd go downstairs and ask him what the fuck his problem is and then I'd tell him to fuck away off out of my sight until he could grow up and fucking apologise for his disgraceful behaviour. I'd then tell my dd to do exactly the same. Their behaviour is utterly unacceptable and I'd definitely be calling them both out on it.

Staffy1 · 29/12/2020 20:51

I would enjoy it while it lasts.

lilylongjohn · 29/12/2020 21:09

It's emotional abuse op, by sulking he's conditioning you never to question him and to put you back in your box.

It's him that should be apologising, not you

HTH1 · 29/12/2020 21:15

Are you in tier 4? If not, I think you should go for a mini break in a nice hotel and switch your phone off.

Original poster
Cos12345 · 29/12/2020 21:16

I'm just going downstairs now I feel ready to say something

OP posts:
Original poster
Cos12345 · 29/12/2020 21:52

Well that went down well,
Completely ignored me, that's me done with it all.
I'm going it for the day tomorrow and packing a bag too stay at my friend's house I'm sad but I'm not being treated like this.
What made that worse I just went downstairs they've had dominoes which is all over the table along with presents all undone. The kitchen looks like bomb had gone off, it's made me so upset no apologising now

OP posts:
fuzzymoon · 29/12/2020 21:59

He's really abusive.
You don't deserve to be treated with such little respect.
Don't let this behaviour towards you continue.
Keep strong OP.