Sex Cape

[iCrochetSoIDontKillPeople]

About to get into a quickie when DH wrapped duvet around his shoulders and announced that it was his 'sex cape' ...

Anyone else married to their bestie who is also an absolute clown and can't help bringing it into the bedroom? I swear most attempts end in hysterics these days 😳🤪

Ok thread police 👮‍♀️

What the fuck have I just read?

Indeed. Just when you think it can't get any worse

@Armychefbethebest

I knew my fella was a keeper when after the first time we had done the deed he said how many of the kids were c section ? Non I said , theres no way 4 came out of there he said I need to look at this , cue armychef lying there legs akimbo whilst he gives me a very close up check up to make sure my lady bits are mine ... I think haha wasnt much more I could do but laugh and think well this is different , good job I liked him eh haha x

Christ.

Non I said...

Eh? As in "Hey nonny nonny"? (The word is "none".)

Could everyone please have an orgasm and a little nap and then return to MN?

Ok. Is the sex cape optional, or....?

@Bookworming

Brilliant *@WouldstrokeTomHardy*! Great response!

Of course you think sexual harassment is hilarious hunni. 'I'd such Tom Hardy dry lol', I wonder if they print that on canvas....

Ok. Is the sex cape optional, or....? winkgrin

Do what you have to do, but please protect my little innocent eyes
I only have so many pearls left to clutch on this high horse!

Original post didn't bother me tbh but that post about a bloke checking your vagina because you've had 4 kids.. seriously? How low can you self respect be?

@BrumBoo still a brilliant response to you! IMO! You totally deserved it, you're so Pearl clutching, uptight and intent on the whole "women don't enjoy sex" crap and keep on and on like it's dirty to enjoy sex, or OP is lying, that must've given you a right poker face!

So we have one man peeling back his ladys flaps looking for proof of vaginal birth and another with small twinkly eyes doing naked star jumps

I guess there really is someone out there for everyone

I'm too much of a chav for canvas but I do have it printed on my scatter cushions dear. I can post the site link if you like. They do canvasses. You won't be disappointed 😁

uptight and intent on the whole "women don't enjoy sex" crap and keep on and on like it's dirty to enjoy sex

I mean I don't think that's true. Brum is taking the piss out of some of the experiences mentioned on this thread (as am I) but I think it's more "there's a time and a place" rather than "repress yourselves, foul women".

@Bookworming
I dont think shes saying women shouldn't have sex.

[quote Bookworming]@BrumBoo still a brilliant response to you! IMO! You totally deserved it, you're so Pearl clutching, uptight and intent on the whole "women don't enjoy sex" crap and keep on and on like it's dirty to enjoy sex, or OP is lying, that must've given you a right poker face! [/quote]
Oh hunni, you've taken my responses as pearl clutching and I think women don't enjoy sex? Where on earth did I say the OP was lying?

Silly naive hun. Stop making up stories now and go back to thinking these nonsense internet stories are a reflection of great relationships/sex .

I) but I think it's more "there's a time and a place" rather than "repress yourselves, foul women".

Well don't open a thread saying sex cape then, just a thought!

We had a great one this week, kids occupied so we nipped upstairs and locked the door. Feet thundering up the stairs "in a minute" we both shout.

Feet thunder back downstairs, Phew, carry on.

Then the unmistakable sound of our Alexa 'dropping in' on us from the kitchen as we both collapse into giggles shouting 'Alexa stop'

So, off we go again, just getting back in the zone and DH faux grumbles "it's like an unwanted bloody threesome"

Best shag I've had in ages

Russel Brand talks about his Cape of Love that he had as a teenager. He used to tempt all the girls into it apparently. It was an actual cape though.

"I just wish we could leave it at the bedroom door"

So it's not always a barrel of laughs?

Sometimes we have a laugh about sex, but it's not a constant concerted effort to be making jokes, no.

First thing that popped into my head

Well don't open a thread saying sex cape then, just a thought!

There's still a time and a place. The sex board.

@LouJ85

I've just realised this is in AIBU. What are we voting on? Whether the sex cape is unreasonable?

Whether Brumboo is getting any.

@Bookworming forgive me but you appear to be extremely childish in your responses. How on earth do you equate not finding the op funny with disliking sex? Who has said that? You sound like a teenage girl, with your ‘hun’ and baiting other posters. Grow up

@CrotchBurn RTFT

Whether Brumboo is getting any.

Then the unmistakable sound of our Alexa 'dropping in' on us from the kitchen as we both collapse into giggles shouting 'Alexa stop'

That bloody Alexa, she gets everywhere.... can't even have a shag in peace

I’m just surprised at the definition of ‘a keeper’