Emotional abuse in Harry Potter

IamTomHanks · 29/12/2020 09:02

Not sure there were any romantic relationships in Harry Potter that were what you would call relationship goals to be fair....JK has a bit of a penchant for mistaking red flags for roses.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 29/12/2020 09:04

I seem to remember reading Hans Christian Anderson as a child (or it could have been the Brothers Grimm, it was an awfully long time ago) and many of the stories were about witches trapping children in ovens and suchlike. I wasn’t traumatised and I doubt HP would do the same whatever was under discussion.

Original poster

MrsRogerLima · 29/12/2020 09:05

I did wonder that @iamtomhanks. Doesn't JK have domestic abuse in her relationship history?

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SebastianTheCrab · 29/12/2020 09:06

Well I can see where she's coming from about Ron being generally pretty crappy to Hermione. But I think her whole shtick that this fictional relationship is inducing entire generations of women into abusive relationships is nonsense and another stick to try and beat JKR with.

It's highly significant that JKR says the Ron/Hermione relationship is symbolic of her own state of mind at the time and we know she has been in at least one abusive relationship. She's the author and it's unsurprising her books might reflect her own inner turmoil. Especially since it's fiction and she's allowed to write what she likes.

What I find remarkable about the younger generation of HP obsessive is they seem to absolutely resent the fact that JKR wrote the books - they want ownership over the series and bash her at every opportunity.

Heaven forbid this writer ("writer") reads any Shakespeare. Surely he's depicted far more abusive relationships - Hamlet and Ophelia? Othello and Desdemona ffs?

juneybean · 29/12/2020 09:06

We are listening to the audiobooks currently and we cant get over the way both Harry and Ron treat Hermione sometimes! And I just don't feel like Hermione in the real world would have got with Ron.

VinterKvinna · 29/12/2020 09:07

Is a Ron / Hermione a relationship goal for anyone though?

I always thought it was almost an after thought, and tidying of loose ends

MichelleScarn · 29/12/2020 09:10

Is it just JK thats been highlighted for this perception of her book? What do you think if other authors and their relationships in characters? Alcott with Jo, Laurie and Amy? Jo and Laurie are really in love, but she's not ladylike or permissive enough so he chooses her sister instead could be an interpretation? Am sure there's more examples!

IamTomHanks · 29/12/2020 09:10

I can't read the essay because it's blocked by my work, but surely very few people could argue that portrayals of toxic/abusive relationships/situations, particularly what women are expected to find attractive/put up with, in fiction over history has lead to women having very low standards for what's appropriate behavior in a relationship in general.... I thought that was a pretty well confirmed/respected theory.....

Original poster

MrsRogerLima · 29/12/2020 09:13

See, I do remember thinking as a young person (I read harry potter at the age of 19/20ish) 'he loves her really' even though he was downright nasty to her. For me it reinforced what I had seen at home and validated the way I treated boyfriends at the time (grew up eventually thankfully)

I do think its a bit scary that the heroine we are supposed to look up to and want to emulate ends up with an emotional abuser.

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MichelleScarn · 29/12/2020 09:13

And exactly what @SebastianTheCrab says! I find it both terrifying and laughable the need for so called Harry Potter fans to take every opportunity to attempt to smear and discredit JK. Think the twitter bios of some are incredibly amusing especially the 'Daniel Radcliffe wrote HP'

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 29/12/2020 09:13

I thought this would be about the abuse of Harry by the Dursleys, and how it was ignored for 10yrs by all the people around them...

All the teenage relationships seem awkward to me. Krum and Hermione. ..a 17/18yo international sport star after a 14yo. Harry and Cho.. Cho needing support for Cedric, not another boyfriend. Only one that seems rational was Fred? And Angelina where he just asks her out.

MichelleScarn · 29/12/2020 09:14

Sorry OP at 20 you were taking relationship guidance from Harry Potter?

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MrsRogerLima · 29/12/2020 09:14

@MichelleScarn

Is it just JK thats been highlighted for this perception of her book? What do you think if other authors and their relationships in characters? Alcott with Jo, Laurie and Amy? Jo and Laurie are really in love, but she's not ladylike or permissive enough so he chooses her sister instead could be an interpretation? Am sure there's more examples!

It's been a while since a read little women but I remember Jo not wanting Laurie? Not the other way round?

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EnjoyingTheSilence · 29/12/2020 09:14

Agree with pp about the amount of stick the JKR gets. What’s next to have a go about?

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MrsRogerLima · 29/12/2020 09:16

@MichelleScarn

Sorry OP at 20 you were taking relationship guidance from Harry Potter?

Of course not, don't be so ridiculous.

But I didn't think anything about the dynamic was wrong. That's what's scary.

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EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 29/12/2020 09:18

@BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted

I seem to remember reading Hans Christian Anderson as a child (or it could have been the Brothers Grimm, it was an awfully long time ago) and many of the stories were about witches trapping children in ovens and suchlike. I wasn’t traumatised and I doubt HP would do the same whatever was under discussion.

along with Dickens, most fairy tales... there was a programme on R4 yesterday evening, with the author claiming that she couldn't possibly read the books any more (I felt that given she was in her 30s and claiming to be a journalist, she might try her hand at reading books for adults) because she was non-binary & didn't agree with JKR's views. There was also a lot of criticism in the program that none of the characters are openly LBGTQ+?!!!!

CopperPotter · 29/12/2020 09:20

Ron was a petulant child for most of the book, literally. He was 11 when it starts and treated everyone, including Harry, pretty shoddily too.

The relationship between the three of them was a childhood friendship for the most part with all that that brings. Teasing, banter, falling out, learning how to behave and treat others.

Helmetbymidnight · 29/12/2020 09:22

AIBU to think this is irresponsible in children's literature?
i think in the past people got that stories were stories and not life-manuals and also that you could enjoy a book even if you werent that keen on the author.
something very strange is happening to young people now.

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 29/12/2020 09:22

She would have been 15 (September birthday) but I did think it was a bit odd last time I read it!

It doesn't help that it's all seen from Harry's point of view, and Harry is a bit dim unobservant. I don't think Ron and Hermione are particularly well matched, but you do get a pretty one-sided view if it.

As an aside, how does Amortentia work? Can it smell of somebody you've never met, or does it smell of somebody you have a bit of a crush on, even if they're not ideal for you?

CopperPotter · 29/12/2020 09:23

But yes, she did deserve better, he was a prick.

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MrsRogerLima · 29/12/2020 09:24

It doesn't help that it's all seen from Harry's point of view, and Harry is a bit dim unobservant.

😂 I suppose there is that, yes.

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Chloemol · 29/12/2020 09:25

I despair. It’s a story about children and how they grew up. Why read so much into it

praepondero · 29/12/2020 09:25

OP, STEP AWAY FROM HP.
Covid has so bloody much to answer for, normally reasonable (well, one hopes so) people start over-analysing fucking everything.
Leave well alone, HP is a world of magic and so it will stay.
Don't ruin it.

MichelleScarn · 29/12/2020 09:26

See, I do remember thinking as a young person (I read harry potter at the age of 19/20ish) 'he loves her really' even though he was downright nasty to her. For me it reinforced what I had seen at home and validated the way I treated boyfriends at the time (grew up eventually thankfully)
Ah ok OP I'd inferred that from your post that Harry Potter validated your relationships at 20!

JADS · 29/12/2020 09:26

I would agree with the woke HP fans hating that JK Rowling wrote HP issue. They seem to want to try and find any reason to tear her down.

I'm now in my 40s and frankly, I was horrible to my friends at school, we were all vile and 'abusive'. Granted, I didn't go on and marry any of them but we are still friends 30+ years later and have managed to have lasting healthy relationships.

Harry and Ron were also horrible about Luna, Neville, Seamus etc. Ron and Hermione always felt like a bit of an after thought if anything.