Emotional abuse in Harry Potter

[MrsRogerLima]

Don't get me wrong, I love Harry Potter but I never thought about the Ron/Hermione thing this way before and she is SO RIGHT.

AIBU to think this is irresponsible in children's literature?

www.bustle.com/articles/198364-ron-hermiones-relationship-in-harry-potter-wasnt-just-disappointing-but-dangerous

I'm so fed up with the woke twenty-something's determination to find everything 'problematic'. 'Well, I mean Friends is extremely problematic'. Don't watch it then. Don't read Harry Potter (it is a kids' book, after all) . Or just maybe, don't take everything as a bloody life manual.

It's a good job the author of the articles read HP and not the Hunger Games, I suppose.

Why so much analysis of a teen romance in a work of fiction? It's just odd for adults to be giving this sort of thing oxygen. If we think teenagers are so easily influenced by fiction why is there so little fuss about some of the books they read at school? Lord of the Flies is savage, two teenagers kill themselves in Romeo and Juliet. A Clockwork Orange and Catcher in the Rye are hardly depictions of healthy, happy and wholesome teen years.

Imagine writing fiction for young people now, having to meticulously represent every community favourably and have every character recognisably good or bad in case you accidentally become the biggest selling author of all time and personally responsible for the happiness and mental wellbeing of your readership.

This.

One of the things that was obvious after JKR 'came out' with her TERF Wars essay is that so many young people had been holding her solely responsible for their happiness. That they never saw her has a human, autonomous woman with her own thoughts and opinions, but as some kind of 'mummy' figure who only existed to keep them happy and mentally healthy through the medium of a set of books that she wrote.

I guess you could say this for lots of celebs, but it did seem rather stark with JKR.

If relationships in literature need pulling apart I think the op needs to focus on better literature. My DC grew up with HP and waited on tenterhooks for the next books. It was a fantastic fantasy story and they loved it for what it was but focused their literary critical energies on Mrs Dalloway and Jane Eyre.

HP was a bit of fun that opened them up to reading and DD was reading Faulkes at 11/12 and other far more interesting things.

Doesn't Hermione end up with more power than Ron though as the higher earning career woman from the wrong class whereas Ron's a bit of a dim aristo and younger son who would otherwise be penniless? I see the story differently to the op I think and if Ron so much as purposefully hurt Hermione emotionally or otherwise rather than as a clumsy oaf I think she'd have had her wand out faster than abracadabra and would have annihilated him which she has been more than capable of doing since the age of 11.

Argh God, I literally cannot stand the word 'problematic'. Everything is 'problematic' these days!

You could look at it the other way round. Books are fiction, they're fantasies. Hermione is awesome, Ron is not. In real life, hermione is out of Ron's league.

Didn't like the way Snape treated Nevile either.

Rather than Harry Potter, I could understand getting your knickers in a twist about Disney and how their stories pan out. Or about the abusive relationship that was 50 Shades of Grey.

Many people did and do. I remember there were loads of articles about how problematic the relationship was in 50 Shades. And Disney romances come up a lot (Belle and Stockholm Syndrome).

Dissecting books and the messages "art" gives us doesn't mean you enjoy it or appreciate it less, it's just an act of critical thinking and context. You can get bloody PHD's for it.

@Passmeabottlemrjones

Argh God, I literally cannot stand the word 'problematic'. Everything is 'problematic' these days!

Argggh, it was tongue in cheek 😂

I love jkr and the Harry Potter books. But I could never understand her feelings towards Malfoy.

To me it's pretty clear he's had a shit upbringing and been essentially forced into believing certain things and encouraged to do shit things in order to further his parents' agenda yet still there's an internal struggle inside of him where he's trying to figure out the right thing. So I was really surprised to see a jkr quote basically saying she didn't understand people who sympathise with Malfoy because he's just a twat (I'm paraphrasing- she's a bit more articulate than me ).

I think it's just really interesting how 'alive' the characters are as so many people see them so differently through the lens of their own experiences. I think that's what makes her such a good writer personally. Although I did always think that once he got past his muggle racism the best match, intelligence wise, for hermione would've been Malfoy.

One thing I would say (and this is something that has frustrated me since I was a teenager!) is that film Ron and book Ron are quite different. Book Ron and book Hermione were on much more equal playing fields and were idiots to each other, although I agree still had their issues.

I love Rupert Grint but the films did butcher his character.

@icanboogieboogiewoogie

I'm so fed up with the woke twenty-something's determination to find everything 'problematic'. 'Well, I mean Friends is extremely problematic'. Don't watch it then. Don't read Harry Potter (it is a kids' book, after all) . Or just maybe, don't take everything as a bloody life manual.

Oooh 20 something, will definitely take that ☺️

And cursed child, again, didn't show Ron grown up at all but a character for cheap laughs. A real shame.

@Sunshinedrops85

Didn't like the way Snape treated Nevile either.

I don’t think teaching was the career for him!

I think Ron is portrayed as kind of an idiot through the books, so never think you get a full picture as it’s always just a side story to the main narrative.

But yes it is a bit ‘he’s mean to you so he fancies you’.

However, it’s just a reflection of the time it’s written in - I wouldn’t say you shouldn’t read Narnia, because CS Lewis boots the kids out of paradise when they hit adolescence, or reinforces gender stereotypes etc.

@arethereanyleftatall

You could look at it the other way round. Books are fiction, they're fantasies. Hermione is awesome, Ron is not. In real life, hermione is out of Ron's league.

In real life, Hermione was very clever but also not very attractive or confident or any of the billions of things Emma made her. 😂 they were both clumsy silly teens who grew up to really respect each other.

Didn't like the way Snape treated Nevile either.

Ooo Snape. Now there's a character that deserves deep dissection and a discussion about childhood abuse and it's affect on adult relationships/behavior.

Im curious what do people think of the Twilight series? That is far more abusive! I remember loving it as a teen but there were times i thought why is she putting up with that?!
Then reading/watching the films as an adult i was shocked how bad it was.

Granted i havent read HP since maybe my early 20's (only early 30's now) but i never thought it was abusive, i thought Ron was a bit a twat at times to everyone but i thought it was because be was so insecure.

I have read so many books where the relationships are damaging/abusive i would never have put HP in the same category. Heathcliff/Cathy? Thats an awful relationship!

Though i guess i can see where some people are coming from that they see an abusive relationship at home and then read it in their books that it might cement the thought that its normal.

@FOJN

Why so much analysis of a teen romance in a work of fiction? It's just odd for adults to be giving this sort of thing oxygen. If we think teenagers are so easily influenced by fiction why is there so little fuss about some of the books they read at school? Lord of the Flies is savage, two teenagers kill themselves in Romeo and Juliet. A Clockwork Orange and Catcher in the Rye are hardly depictions of healthy, happy and wholesome teen years.

This!

This whingeing childish view of the world where everyone is expected to remove all critical faculties and celebrate half baked nonsensical views is so tiresome. As is the readiness of so many women to jump on the misogynistic bandwagon that tries to punish JKR for daring to be a woman refusing to be silenced. There are all kinds of things that are "irresponsible" and HP isn't one of them.
And if at 19/20 years of age OP, you were influenced by HP into treating boyfriends badly, one can only hope you haven't had access to Game of Thrones

Honestly, I just find this all a bit sad. They had petty arguments and annoyed each other to death but they also fought dark wizards and almost died for each other on many occasions. And I agree that nobody is allowed to write anything anymore. How impossible for an author! People hold her in such high esteem. No normal books are torn apart in this way. I know she has a lot of social standing but it's still ridiculous.

@IamTomHanks

Didn't like the way Snape treated Nevile either.

Ooo Snape. Now there's a character that deserves deep dissection and a discussion about childhood abuse and it's affect on adult relationships/behavior.

Exactly!

@Passmeabottlemrjones

Argh God, I literally cannot stand the word 'problematic'. Everything is 'problematic' these days!

@Passmeabottlemrjones

It has to be said with a patronising head-tilt as well - 'I find you favourite TV show/author/general attitude problematic '. Like someone in HR talking to a colleague about their BO problem, rather than adults trying to have a civilised discussion/debate.

It's a 'I'm shutting down your view with the suggestion that you liking or agreeing with X, Y or Z makes you a bad person'. Of course, in 15 years time they will also be moaning about the new generation of right-on kids telling them everything they like or do is wrong. I very much look forward to it .

AIBU to think this is irresponsible in children's literature?

Yes.

Go and find yourself a suitable "Safe Space", and ponder on the fact that novels are not a life-manual.

Most of the relationships in books for children and teens are absolute crap. I don't think it does any harm really, learning that a good relationships is not the same as a good story is just part of growing up.

As far as HP is concerned we all know Harry should have ended up with Draco.