SIL made me cry on Christmas Day

[Knottedstomach11]

I will NC after this as it is very outing.

We always have Christmas dinner in PIL but this year we decided to spend a few days staying in MIL’s. It is the first Christmas since FIL passed away this year so we didn’t want MIL to be alone.
I have two very young DC so this was quite an effort. I also bought all of the Christmas dinner - also effor as one DC is severely disabled. In short it was not fun for me in the week running up to Christmas.

SIL is single so also comes over for Christmas dinner. She is very difficult character at the best of times and talks, talks, talks.

Ok Christmas Eve SIL came over to prep veg. I did offer to do it the next morning and there was only 5 of us for dinner. We had a group discussion about dinner the next day and I said I would be leaving to visit my family at 12.30 but would be back by 3.30 for dinner.

On Christmas Day I got back to MIL at 3ish and saw SIL in the kitchen. I offered to help when she started shouting at me. Said that I shouldn’t have left MIL alone, I should have stayed to cook the Christmas dinner, my help was not needed now but at 1pm.

I walked out of the room as I was so shocked.

My MIL is lovely and has 14 children - why is it up to me to spend Christmas with her & not one of her own children? I had said to DH and DSS that they should stay with MIL while I visited my family. They both said MIL wanted time to herself.

Bloody in-laws! My FIL literally begged us to go to his place on boxing day with our LO. He is remarried with 2 half siblings, a witch of a stepmum & her troll of a sister living there. No one including him bothered to say hello let alone talk to me & DH. And then he hands my baby over to the half sister who is lil b&tch! I swiftly took her back. Not ever going back ever

@purplebunny2012 RTFT the op has already said god knows how many times she’s not in the UK so she’s not breaking any Covid rules because things are different where she lives 🙄.

So your family don't deserve a visit!
Wtf
Text the bitch
I explained what I was doing, you agreed.
Next time if you dont agree explain at the time.
You left also
Are your plans more important
Do not underestimate how much you hurt my feelings
Do it again and I will not just walk away

I await your APOLOGY

OP I can understand why your SIL was upset that her mother had been left alone, if she expected her brother to stay with her. But she directed her anger at the wrong person. She should have been furious with your DH.

I'm sorry your Xmas was ruined.

Have a good new year and sod the nasty cow

Ignore. SIL has her own thing going on and you have your hands full. Crying is a worry - maybe have a chat with your doc.

[quote Knottedstomach11]@mumda the English queen gave our family permission to do as we please on Christmas Day.

WE DO NOT LIVE IN THE UK[/quote]
Are you hormonal? Seriously unreasonable shouting.
You've read threads on here before where a vital information snippet is excluded and despite reading the thread you miss it when you come to post.

You left a woman alone to cook the bed when she probably needed her son there but didn't want him to miss out on seeing your parents.
Indeed not being in the UK probably means you have less restrictions than here so could have actually seen your parents the day after and avoided leaving her alone

I hate throwing the hormone ticket at females but sometimes crying for nothing is a sign of being a bit irrational.

You left a woman alone to cook the bed when she probably needed her son there but didn't want him to miss out on seeing your parents.

But the OP said she encouraged her DH to stay with his Mum?

@Knottedstomach11 You've done nothing wrong, sounds like you were being pretty sensitive toward your DH's family. His Sister was completely out of order to shout at you and your DH even more so for allowing it.

Don’t let people shout at you ffs. Shout back, tell her to fuck off. Do what you need to do. Grown adults shouldn’t shout at other grown adults and if they do they shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it. Don’t moan after the event. You should have told her to shut her mouth.

You need to ring SIL and tell her:

1. You do not understand why she was so angry with you. You had said what your arrangements were to see your family, and therefiore it was not your responsibility to stay with HER mother.

2.HER mother had , as you understood it,m said she wanted a bit of time to herself

Then ask her why she was so upset, and listen. Say the baove calmly and do not rise if she starts getting angry. Just say, that yhou are not willing to be shouted at but are happy to discussd when she is ready to without shouting. And walk out the room

Also, is it worth talking to MIL about EXACTLY what her wishes are next year and also making it 100% clear to everybody exactly what your plans are. TBH I am wondering how your family feel that you spend every christmas at MILs and never with them!!