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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DC got nothing from their siblings..

485 replies

Pip899 · 26/12/2020 15:30

I have two children with DH age 2 and 3, DH also has two older children with his ex ages 8 and 9. The children have a lovely relationship with each other and the older ones dote on the youngest two.

For Christmas I bought the DSC gifts from me and also gifts 'from' my two. Buying 'from' the kids is something DH has always done but most importantly (because it's relevant) it is something his ex has always done too, for other people on behalf of the kids.

DSC arrived today to spend the night with us and have a second Christmas of sorts, they had a big pile of presents waiting for them with at least 5 being labelled as being from my DC.

DSC brought with them a present for DH that their mum gave them the money to buy - but nothing for my two DC.

I have no hard feelings toward the children whatsoever, they don't have money, I feel like this is their mother being petty.

AIBU to think this is almost spiteful?

It's the principle of the matter, even a chocolate bar would have been a nice gesture so it's not me being grabby.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 26/12/2020 16:30

Their mother sorted out a present from the children to their father. Did he organise a present from them to give her?

That is an interesting question...

Changechangychange · 26/12/2020 16:31

OP, what did you buy from your DC for your SDC’s DM? Nothing? Why not?

Did you even buy anything from your SDC for their DM? Again, why not?

Waveysnail · 26/12/2020 16:32

Dh should have took them out to buy presents for their siblings not their mothers responsibility

Beach11 · 26/12/2020 16:32

Your husbands job to have got the gifts. Why didn’t you just keep some of their gifts aside for today?

Beautifulbonnie · 26/12/2020 16:32

I mean. She’s not stepmother to your kids is she?

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 26/12/2020 16:33

Does his ex wife have children ? If so did your dh buy for them or would you if she had some

firesong · 26/12/2020 16:33

I don't get it. My children don't buy gifts for each other. Why do they need to? Wait until they're old enough to do it themselves.

DorisDaisyMay · 26/12/2020 16:34

I agree with all the other posters that this is for your husband to sort not the woman.

And it sounds like you did all the presents for everyone (on his behalf) - so if you wanted that to happen, you should have done it yourself.

It's a bit off to expect his ex-wife to get presents for the children of her ex-husband and his new wife.

Unless you have some extraordinary close relationship - which it doesn't sound like you do.

WeAllHaveWings · 26/12/2020 16:34

If this is something you do as a family your dh should have organised presents from HIS children for you and their step siblings.

I buy my dniece gifts but I don't expect anything back from my Ex-sil. That is my brothers job, which he doesn't do. Does that mean I should blame my ex-SIL?

Now you realise you are being ridiculous are you asking your dh why he didn't go out and get these gifts and tell him how disappointed you and the children are? Or do you only critise his exes perceived faults?

SantasAnus · 26/12/2020 16:35

Would love to know what the other 'fuck you's' were.

Maybe you bought your step kids Easter eggs, and she never got one for your kids? Birthday present perhaps?

Lovemusic33 · 26/12/2020 16:35

We never did gifts from siblings, my dc don’t buy gifts for each other so I wouldn’t expect their half siblings too, half siblings are now adults and dh is now ex dh, I buy for their small dc but they rarely buy anything for my kids (their half siblings).

LightDrizzle · 26/12/2020 16:36

I agree this is bizarre. It never occurred to me to buy presents from my children to their half siblings, it wasn’t a snub, just not my place.
Blame the dad they have in common FFS! I bought gifts for their classmates, that’s always been par for the course, you’re not comparing like with like.

Original poster
Pip899 · 26/12/2020 16:37

The thread moved on pages ago, I'm unreasonable.

You needn't keep reiterating previously made points.

OP posts:
Mdmd · 26/12/2020 16:37

So what were the previous fuck yous and why is this only an issue this year?

Chinainmyhandsoitis · 26/12/2020 16:38

You want to know why your DH's first wife isn't buying presents for his new family? Get real. If he goes on to have another family will you be buying presents for them?

Retiremental · 26/12/2020 16:38

Does she have other kids and if so what did you buy them?

Christmasnamechange1234 · 26/12/2020 16:38

Your DH should have done that OP.

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 26/12/2020 16:39

Your husband should have sorted that they are his kids too. YABVU.

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 26/12/2020 16:41

My partner doesn't buy gifts for all the other kids his ex had after they separated, just because they are his kids half siblings. Why would she OP. Mad.

trevthecat · 26/12/2020 16:41

If the ex had a new partner and he had kids, would you expect your husband to buy for those kids? Yabu

Fedup21 · 26/12/2020 16:41

You’ve accepted you were wrong to think this was your husband’s ex-wife’s job to do.

Do you agree that if anyone should have done it, it was the children’s father and what have you said to him about it?

ithinkyouareveryrude · 26/12/2020 16:43

I think she’s done it as a message of I’m over doing this now.

It’s not her job to buy your kids presents from their siblings. The presents are from X and Y’s Mummy not from X and Y. Your husband should facilitate gifts from the siblings.

In future this should be his role. She’s told you how she feels; listen to her because the presents are over. As I feel they should be.

LagunaBubbles · 26/12/2020 16:44

Ok but you still haven't said why this wasn't your DHs responsibility?

LynetteScavo · 26/12/2020 16:44

Hmm.. if your DH remarried would you buy his new children gifts from your children or would you leave that up to him?

lyralalala · 26/12/2020 16:44

Do you buy your 2 and 3 year olds presents from each other?