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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is the most fucking annoying comeback on Mumsnet

302 replies

Hobnobswantshernameback · 26/12/2020 15:28

"Well at least you have a mother/dog/budgie/great aunt mine is dead and I'd give anything to have them here"

Yes we should all suck up the most awful behaviour from other people and be grateful for their mere existence as one day they will be dead
Someone says that they are in some way annoyed by someone else's behaviour
And
Every
Ducking
Time
"Well at least you have a father (even if he is a serial killer) mine is dead and I'd give anything to have them back"
Aaagghhhhh

OP posts:
LouJ85 · 29/12/2020 19:25

I also hate "uh oh the thread police are here".

... Said to me the other day when I pointed out the OP had long left the thread (about 2 days prior), having announced she'd taken on board some of the advice and changed her perspective, yet there were still comments repeating the same questions from days ago / directing the same questions at her when she clearly wasn't coming back to answer. I found it amusing.

OlympicProcrastinator · 30/12/2020 19:30

Or ‘have you seen a doctor about your anxiety?’ just because one poster is worried about something another poster wouldn’t be.

I came back to this thread after witnessing this years Misery Olympics on the thread about being really bored of walks.
And there it was, in all it’s glory, a poster telling the OP they should be grateful to be able to walk because they have an illness and can’t walk themselves.

OlympicProcrastinator · 30/12/2020 19:31

I meant to say ‘this years Misery Olympics Winner’

SchrodingersImmigrant · 30/12/2020 19:33

Wow @OlympicProcrastinator pass them this one 🥇

DillonPanthersTexas · 30/12/2020 19:55

Or ‘have you seen a doctor about your anxiety?’ just because one poster is worried about something another poster wouldn’t be.

In fairness there seems to be a disproportionate number of people here with anxiety.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 30/12/2020 20:38

@DillonPanthersTexas

Or ‘have you seen a doctor about your anxiety?’ just because one poster is worried about something another poster wouldn’t be.

In fairness there seems to be a disproportionate number of people here with anxiety.

And everything else.
BohemianDream · 30/12/2020 21:17

'Can't argue with stupid.'
It seems such a stupid come back.

LadyFoxtrot · 30/12/2020 21:55

‘You sound jealous’ gives me the utter rage, because it’s mostly said when the OP sounds in no way jealous.

Also ‘does he usually dismiss your feelings?’ ‘Do you usually overreact?’ Drives me nuts! Some people can’t just answer the issue at hand without trying to sit down with their therapist pad and start digging into things that have nothing to do with what OP has posted.

Pimmsypimms · 30/12/2020 23:35

"You do you"
Argh, hate that saying!!

Nikhedonia · 31/12/2020 00:04

My current pet peeve is "the virus doesn't care if...." why are people pretending the virus 'cares' about anything, it's not a sentient being, FFS.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 31/12/2020 01:00

@Nikhedonia

My current pet peeve is "the virus doesn't care if...." why are people pretending the virus 'cares' about anything, it's not a sentient being, FFS.
For now....👀
LouJ85 · 31/12/2020 09:01

@Pimmsypimms

"You do you" Argh, hate that saying!!
Especially when prefixed with "meh". I can feel the rage bubbling.... BlushGrin
jillypill · 31/12/2020 09:21

I hate when if you disagree with someone a poster just repeats back what you said it's so childish & immediately shuts down the debate.

LolaSmiles · 31/12/2020 11:21

Can I add the 'you're just jealous' putdown? It always strikes me as a way of telling women to get back in their box because they couldn't have an opinion on an issue.

Eg. AIBU to think we don't need Chelsea tractors sitting outside school for 45 minutes every afternoon.
reply- you're just jealous of them having a nice car. Maybe they have somewhere important to be.

E.g. AIBU to think my it's poor taste for my friend to be complaining of being broke when both her and her husband work, they have a comfortable lifestyle and have recently come back from a skiing break. Many of us have had our hours cut and are struggling to cover the Bill's.
Reply -YABU you don't know their circumstances. It sounds like you're jealous that they've been on holiday. Why else would you mention it?

OlympicProcrastinator · 31/12/2020 11:23

Or...

“Ok, I’ll bite”

I just imagine someone sitting there, gnashing their teeth at the screen.

jillypill · 31/12/2020 11:48

Oh yeah the jealous one is often trotted out.

Original poster
Hobnobswantshernameback · 31/12/2020 14:35

Ah the jealous one
Angry

OP posts:
Pimmsypimms · 31/12/2020 15:40

@OlympicProcrastinator

Or...

“Ok, I’ll bite”

I just imagine someone sitting there, gnashing their teeth at the screen.

Saw this one on a post this morning, makes me cringe!!
iklboo · 31/12/2020 15:53

'Interesting first post'

Or

'I did an AS and in January you said XYZ but now you're ABC? Make your mind up Hmm'. Not thinking a person's circumstances can change and they don't have to provide chapter & verse on a daily basis.

Janegrey333 · 31/12/2020 16:15

“Man here.”is absolutely priceless. 😆 Why doesn’t someone utter the equally priceless “Oh DFOD.” in his direction? Then someone else can make meaningless comments and accuse him of being insecure / having low self esteem / being superior etc etc.

Janegrey333 · 31/12/2020 16:18

Oh yes! The “You’re just jealous.” one is classic. It was often applied in connection to Meghan Markle. 🙄

SunsetOnTheHorizon · 31/12/2020 16:27

Hobnobswantshernameback

Well, I actually think you should be grateful that you have fingers to type and a working brain that allows you to use a smartphone to complain about this non-issue here on mumsnet.

Wink See what I did there..

Baa Dum Tish!

Tillsforthrills · 31/12/2020 16:31

Well I must say I’ve read some highly insensitive comments regarding covid and how it’s nothing when many have family members dead. A little empathy.

Also the first world complaints ‘I’m distraught DD is the most wonderful man in the world to me but didn’t get me an xmas card’ I can see why some who are facing tough conditions in life might find it jarring.

Nikhedonia · 31/12/2020 16:45

@iklboo

'Interesting first post'

Or

'I did an AS and in January you said XYZ but now you're ABC? Make your mind up Hmm'. Not thinking a person's circumstances can change and they don't have to provide chapter & verse on a daily basis.

I had someone do this to me once, "interesting post Nikhedonia, you've just said your DC is four and a month ago they were three HmmHmmHmm"

Yep... they've had a birthday. Someone call the MN police!

MirandaWestsNewBFF · 31/12/2020 16:51

@Hobnobswantshernameback

"Well at least you have a mother/dog/budgie/great aunt mine is dead and I'd give anything to have them here"

Yes we should all suck up the most awful behaviour from other people and be grateful for their mere existence as one day they will be dead
Someone says that they are in some way annoyed by someone else's behaviour
And
Every
Ducking
Time
"Well at least you have a father (even if he is a serial killer) mine is dead and I'd give anything to have them back"
Aaagghhhhh

So much this.

It’s awful to say this stuff. Ok, it comes from a genuine place of grief and love, but the effect of deploying it is to silence and invalidate genuine concerns and issues. Yes, you might miss your lovely MIL, but if mine is being manipulative, unkind and causing issues deliberately and I’ve posted to get help, then don’t use your happy memories to get in the way of the issues I’m facing with a completely different person in the present.